


The flaw in my code

by Nachtstrasse



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Climbing Class, Dirty Talk, Drunk Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Is Alive, First Time, First Time Bottoming, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Nobody is Dead, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rough Sex, Sexual Content, Slow Build, Teasing, brocest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-02
Updated: 2016-01-20
Packaged: 2018-04-29 15:01:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 51,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5131925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nachtstrasse/pseuds/Nachtstrasse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He loved being part of a nice family.<br/>He loved his sisters.<br/>He loved his brother... too much.</p><p>The flaw in his code always said it wasn't a problem. He wasn't even his real brother!<br/>The desire to lean in is too big. How long would it be possible to avoid, what's already inevitable?</p><p>A fiction, playing in an alternate universe. Everybody lives, nobody died. Something in Chris' life went terribly wrong. He's part of the Washington-Family. But there is also his brother, who is too attracted to him. But he doesn't know - Not just yet!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What happened

**Author's Note:**

> A fanfiction I just started. First chapter - Introduction of the idea... More to come! ;) And very very happy about every comment!
> 
> Have fun!

The first thing he noticed were his green eyes. This look of him had been forever in his mind. If he laughed, cried or something else. "Who is he?", the brunette asked his mother, who was smiling at the boy. The blonde was scared, completely overwhelmed by this situation. He pushed his teddy tight to his chest, feeling his little hands already sweating. He didn't hear what the tall woman said to this little guy in front of him, but he knew that something in his life was completely going wrong. His glasses felt heavy, they always sliped down his nose. He felt himself cringe as the other little boy started screaming: "I don't wanna have a brother! I don't like him, he's so ugly!", he mocked and the blonde one felt the tears in his eyes, totally bluring his sight. Everything felt hot, he just wanted to get out of here. But this wasn't the end he wished for. The woman grabed for his hand, pulling him with her on one hand, the other boy at her other hand, still screaming his lungs out...

Now Chris was a boy of 17 years, studying at a college, almost out of the worst part of his puberty. He was going to be an App-Designer. This was his wish, growing up with tablets, smartphones, personal computers and gaming consoles. Different like his brother, who wasn't even his right brother, but the first meeting of them was nothing against what followed as he joined the Washington-Family. He had been adopted, almost 12 years ago. His life had turned out well, even if there was this part with his real parents. The memory was still present, like it just happened yesterday. He sat in the car with them, right on the way to their every year holidays. The Millers were a humble family, Christopher their only child. As long as he could remember, they drove to his aunt, sharing their holidays together with them. The year he turned four years old, everything went terribly wrong... They drove on the highway, laughing at something stupid Chris said. He could speak already very well, but sometimes he mismatched a word, which turned out funnier as it should be. A moment of carelessness and everything changed. He couldn't remember how it happened. Years later he heard the driver of a truck had been lose control about his vehicle. Combined with an iced roadway, the thing was just 'perfect'. He just remembered waking up, feeling a horrible pain in his leg. The first time in his life he was confronted with death. He saw his father, his arm crooked in a strange way, his eyes wide opened, scowling in horror. His mother with blood all over her face and sirens, pleading in his ears. He just screamed, didn't know what had hit him... After his leg was okay again (it broke through the accident), he was taken to his aunt for a while, but it was clear that he couldn't stay with her. So they had to put him into an orphanage. Even if the care was good here, Chris suffered more and more. First he stopped talking, followed by sitting in his room, just holding his Teddybear in his arms. Sometimes he cried, sometimes he was just staring at a certain point in his room. As he stopped eating, their efforts to find a family for him got bigger. The Washingtons gave him a warmth welcome, bought everything he needed and cared for him, until today. His past became indistinct, after a good therapy he just had a few nightmares, now and then. He could deal with it, just without starting to cry everytime he was thinking about. But like it's with every psychosis it wasn't easy to deal with everything. There are good days and bad days. Sometimes he was haunted by the dead faces of his parents in his dreams...

"Lost in thoughts already, bro?" Josh pulled him off his thoughts, leaning next to him in the bus. Josh almost had missed it. He hated this vehicle but it was the easiest option for the way from his home to college and back. He begged the Washingtons, not to buy him a car or a scooter for his 18th birthday, even if they wanted it. Chris was raised with all this luxury around him but never became a megalomaniac. He was still this humble Miller-kid he was with almost four years. Josh, his bro made a joke out of it and visited him at the bus as he was on his way home. He already had his own car. He made it just to mock him from time to time. "Can't believe you swaped the Pick-up for this mass grave of a vehicle!", he said and looked over to Chris with a lopsided grin. "Just shut up, Josh!", he said and couldn't refrain from laughing. Their brotherly relationship was no 'love-at-first-sight' thing, but they learned to get along, even if Josh wasn't a poster child for his brother. He mocked him, whenever he could. Later, as Joshs sisters Hannah and Beth had been grown, they stood beside Chris and changed allegiance. "Just leave him alone, Josh!", they said and Beth hit him, as Josh laughed at him because he peed his pants after he had one of those horrifying nightmares. It never was easy, but Josh and Chris came along, even better. Since puberty hit them, they spoke a lot more with eachother, especially about things they didn't want to talk with their parents about. Chris knew, Josh loved him and he accepted him as a full family member. But like it's always with brothers: Too much testosterone and a quarrel is inevitable.

"How was your day, bro?", Josh asked. He asked every goddamn day and Chris always replied with "Good!", just like today. Usually Josh started talking, about a cute girl which was sitting right in front of him at class, what he thought about different teachers. Everyday shit as usual! They went to the same college, but had different courses. As long as they had been in the same class, they were bench-buddies. He talked until they reached their destination to get out of the bus. But today it was different. Josh looked at him and said: "Nice to hear!" and became silent. Chris was confused: "Are you okay?", he asked. Josh didn't even look back as he said: "Yeah Cochise... Everything is fine!" and added with a lower voice: "Everything is as it should be!" Chris didn't ask further questions. He didn't want to get Josh mad at him, so he bit his tongue and said nothing, until they left the bus, heading their way back home. Just a short way up the hill and there was it: Washington mansion, as Josh called it, whenever he could. It wasn't that big, but it already had more rooms they even needed.

Right after they entered the house, they could hear the siblings laughing. Hannah and Beth, twins with similar interests, almost looking the same. Hannah just let her hair grow longer than Beth. Both of them were so kind-hearted, Chris was a fully accepted brother for them, they already asked him for his opinion about almost everything they were doing. Josh even got jelous, because compared to him, they asked for nothing. They all loved eachother, but after their strong childhood, Chris was always kinda Teddybear for them, while Josh took the role of the protecting brother. He just wanted the best for his little sisters, but wasn't always successfull. "Hey girls! What are you doing at home already?", he shouted out, hearing them giggle upstairs. Beth was the one who looked down the stairs first. "What you're mocking about now, dear brother?", she asked with a smile on her face. "Hi Chris!", she added and Chris smiled back, getting off his Jacket and a sweater. "I thought you would be at college, what about the philosophy club?" Beth rolled her eyes: "You're controling me? You're not my mother!", she snaped, just leaving to get back to her room. "God bless, I don't wanna know how she'll react if she knows, you skipped it!", Josh shouted, as Chris grabbed his arm. "Come on Josh, leave it!", he tried to calm him down. Josh let out a sigh and replied his glance. "Okay, okay! You're right... Like almost everytime!" Chris grinned and got a serious look from his bro: "Stop that!", he said. "I can't handle it, if everyone of this family is just as nice as fuck!" Chris laughed, releasing Josh and went up to his room. Their parents announced they would be alone until the evening hours. Joshs father held some auditions for his new movie, while his mother was on a meeting with her friends. He had three hours for himself - If Josh wasn't in the mood to pull him into something he wanted to do with him. He didn't even finish his thought as Josh sticked up his head into the room: "Hey bro, whatcha gonna eat? Should I order something in particular?" Chris thought about it for a moment and shook his head. Josh knew what he had to order, regardless where he ordered. "Okay!", he replied and closed the door. Chris ate almost everytime the same.

*****

They had been appointed in the city a few days later. Josh wanted to get a new phone and Chris should help him to find one. He knew how to handle them, but with all the models at the market he got confused. On the flipside they had a special contract with the network provider and Chris knew everything about it since he was involved in installing the network at home. The phones were also connected with it. For Josh this thing reached a stage he didn't wanna know more about it. So Chris helped him to get a new phone. "What happened with the other one?", he asked after Josh asked him to go with him. "Don't know, it just stopped working properly." - "Did you let it fall on the floor?", he replied and Josh sighed. It wasn't important, but Chris was a nerd, he wanted to know everything if a device stopped working. Josh gave the phone to him, but soon he realized that there was nothing he could do. Josh was thankful his bro was going with him.

Chris was talking about phones since they left home. They took Josh's car for the way, but Josh didn't even listen to what Chris said. As they arrived and parked, he turned off the engine. "So, what do you think?", Chris asked and Josh gave him a blank look. "You kidding me, right? You didn't listen to me?" Josh heard a harsh tone in his brothers voice, lowered his eyes and Chris noticed that something was going on with Josh. "Hey, what's wrong with you bro?" Josh shook his head. "Nothing you have to be aware of, Cochise!" - "If there's something you have to talk about, just do it man!", he summoned him, but the more he said, the merrier Josh shook his head. "No, no, no, no! There's nothing, Chris. Just lets's go, get that fucking phone!" A second later, Chris laid his hand on Joshs shoulder, trying to comfort him. "What's wrong with you? You're acting weird since our last bus ride." Chris noticed the tense, Josh was going through, his eyes twitching. He acted like an animal, searching for a way out. Josh tried to lower his voice, but it didn't work: "I'm okay!", he spat out. "And keep your damn hands off me!", he said and opened the door, leaving Chris in the car. Chris didn't understand why Joshs behave was like this, it was just a gesture of comfort! Like every brother would do! He knew, Josh didn't like it, being touched, but he never had been this rude, if it was out of comfort. Chris left the car and Josh locked up the doors. They found a new phone for Josh, on their way home they didn't speak.

"What the fuck did I do?", Chris said, sitting on Hannahs bed, while she was at the computer, Beth laying on a beanbag. "It's just Josh, you know him. He didn't mean to be that rude, don't you think?", Beth said, but Chris couldn't deal with that. "No, no, no! That wasn't my brother, who's always fucking you up to say 'just Joshin' ya!' after that. Something is wrong with him. I just don't know what!" Hannah turned around on her chair, looking at Chris. "Maybe he's got a girlfriend we don't know about." Beth started laughing. "Seriously? Our brother? - No!", she said, but noone else was laughing. "Really?", Beth said after she realized that this was a serious guess from Hannah. "I guess it's even over time. I mean... You know Mike Munroe, don't you?" Of course they knew Mike-I-fuck-everything-Munroe. Hannah was always talking about him with this gaze in her eyes, Josh went all angry about. Not because he was jelous, just because he didn't want to see his sister with such a womanizer. "He already has a girlfriend and he's younger than Josh." - "Yeah, but this is Mike. You can't compare Josh with Mike, you know?", Chris said and Beth agreed. "Yeah, he's right. Josh isn't that kind of guy." Chris was worried, but he realized, this was a thing he would learn sooner or later from Josh. "I think if it is something important, Josh will tell you by himself. You'll see!", Beth said and Chris accepted. "Yeah, maybe..." - "Do _you_ already have a girlfriend, Chris?", Hannah asked and Chris noticed the rising heat in his face. "What? No, of course not!", he replied with a slight high pitched voice, leaving a smirk on Hannahs face. "No, Chris is just a teddybear! He's too good for all those bitches at school, right Chris?" Chris face reddened, he looked at Beth with a sheepish grin, while she was smiling. Hannah giggled and went over to her bed. "This spoiled geese don't even know, how to handle someone like you..." Beth said, her glance turning serious. "Promise, if you ever get mucked by one of these girls, you'll tell us!" - "Why?", Chris asked and Beth looked over to Hannah. "We'll murder her fucking face off, what do you think?", she said with a severe voice. Chris eyes widened. "Don't worry, nobody will hurt you Chris!", Hannah said with a lovely voice, comforting him a bit. "Yeah, but Chris is too nice sometimes, I think. That's the problem.", Beth responsed.

A while later, Chris went his way back to his room, passing the door of Joshs room, which was closed. He looked around, but he was all by himself. His desire to snoop at Joshs door went bigger, slowly he leaned up, his ear right on the wooden door. First he heard nothing, then a low moan, followed by a "Shit, fuck!" Chris narrowed his eyes, concentrating on what was going on. After a few moments of silence, he leaned back. What the hell was he doing? He scolded himself for peeking and went back to his room, never knew that Josh was standing right on the other side of the door, his forehead leaning on the wood right at the point where Chris had been eavesdropping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm planing to involve some other Until Dawn Characters within the further chapters. There are also plans for Joshs mental illness. But everything to a proper time. ;)
> 
> If you have the urge to join my on tumblr, just go here:  
> http://nachtstrasse.tumblr.com
> 
> Feel free to molest me with your questions. ;) There you can also find some oneshots I'm writing from time to time, which almost doesn't make it to AO3. :)


	2. Avoiding

A few weeks passed and Chris tried not to force Josh for further answers. He knew that he wouldn't get them, even if he asked him a dozen times a day. Spring was rising, the plans for their yearly holidays got serious. Another summer at Blackwood Pines! These were the best times of his life, Chris thought. Within summer and winter they lived in the lodge, Joshs dad bought. It was nice, silent and a real good place for adventurous kids. In the woods Chris and Josh had deepened their brotherhood, spent hour after hour, sitting in a tree, watching the sun rising and going down. Within their early years they learned a lot of eachother, Josh was always keen enough to play a prank at his sisters. Just to get punished by his parents after Hannah and Beth squealed them, especially Josh. Sometimes they played Baseball with Bob, while Melinda was cooking a dinner, Chris would have died for. He never liked sports, but to eat - This was his real passion. From time to time he was sitting in the kitchen, talking to his foster mother and she was happy if she cooked something he really liked. In the evenings, Josh and Chris were lingering in Joshs or Chris' room, playing videogames, watching movies or talking until dawn. Hannah and Beth always had their own privacy, but sometimes they joined the brothers for a movie. Joshs father builded this room, which was designed like a cinema. The screen was really big and great for watching a movie, but Chris and Josh loved the atmosphere while watching TV in one of their rooms, curling in their bed sheets and falling asleep before the movie ended.

The other thing why Chris loved these holidays so much was because Josh and him celebrated their birthday. The lodge was quite big enough for them and their friends, even if Chris hadn't many of them. Josh invited his friends instead. It was a small party but within the last years they got pretty serious. In which way? Someone (it wasn't a question, who... It was always either Josh or Mike... And if it wasn't Mike, Josh instructed Mike to do so...) brought some alcohol with him. Their parents left them alone for the evening, so they didn't even know and the siblings kept their secret against them.

"What do you wish for this year Chris?", Hannah asked him while dinner and he shruged his shoulders. "I dunno. I just wanna have a fun time at Blackwood, like every year!" - "If you don't know what, you can still choose that Pick-up we suggested.", Melinda, their mother, said, but Chris shook his head. "As I said, I really appreciate that but I don't want it. Taking the bus is still okay for me!" He heard a slight snort from Josh and he said: "Mom, this thing is a mass-grave! Go get him that car, I bet he's gonna love it!" - "Shut up, Josh! I don't want a car! I don't even have a licence yet!" He looked at him, Josh was still grinning all over his face. "You're such a spoiled brat!", Chris said and smirked. "Go, eat your sausage, dickhead!" - "Just go fuck yourself!" Saying nothing, but grinning as hell, Hannah and Beth waited for the blowup from their mom, but the situation was always amusing. "Nah-ahh!", Melinda said loudly, because Josh opened his mouth to counter Chris. "Enough boys! Do I really have to put you in the bed without dinner?" She shook her head, the sisters giggled and Chris got a kick at his leg from Joshs foot under the table.

"What about your party, boys? Are there any invites out yet?", Melinda asked both of them and Chris shook his head, as Josh started to list up, who he would like to have at the party: "I guess it's gotta be Sam, Mike, Ashley..." - "What about Jess?", Beth said. "Jess is okay, I just don't wanna invite people whose bitching around, you know?", Josh said and Melinda nodded. "Sam is nice... She brought me these nice flowers, remember?" Everyone at the table knew what she meant. Sam was always a good girl. As a little thank you she brought over a small flowercan two years ago, which Melinda just loved. Since then Sam was good in Melindas books. "But Hannah...", Josh said. "I'll invite Mike just if you promise me, not staring at him for the whole evening!" - "What are you talking about?", she replied with an innocent voice. "We all know, why I am saying that! Hannah, look at me!" Hannahs face went all red. "This guy isn't good for you! You hear me?", Josh said, everyone else stood silent. "You're such a dickbag, Josh!", she replied, completely annoyed. "Who is this guy actually?", Melinda asked, plain worried. "Oh mom, he's just a nice guy we know from college. He was at the same class with us in High School." - "Hannah!", Josh said, seriously aggravating her. She stood up and left the table to go up into her room. "If this guy is such a bad influence, why do you wanna invite him?", Joshs mother asked. "He's just a friend, nothing serious. I like him, but I guess Hannah has a crush on him and he's... not that kinda guy, which you wanna have as a son-in-law." - "He's not one of those who prefer a longterm relationship.", Beth added. Melinda held up her hands: "You guys will manage this! I'm sure you'll do this! I trust you with this. Watch out for your sister!", she said and Josh stood up, circled around the table and gave her a peck on the cheek. "Thanks mom!", he said, laying his hands on her shoulders. "Just don't offend her that much, she's my little baby, you know that!" - "And what about us?", Josh jollyed her. She laid her hand on Joshs and looked up to him. "You're little suckers, who's guzzle all my money up!" The siblings laughed... Good times...

*****

In the last weeks didn't happen anything weird, so Chris walked after the dinner to Joshs room because he already locked-in himself again. Friday evening, after 10 pm - they had such evenings within the past, looking a movie, mostly horror, or played at the console. He knocked, waited, but first there was no reply. "Josh? Bro, everything okay?", he asked. "What do you want from me?", he heard Josh through the door. "I thought we could share the evening together. What about a movie? If you want to we can play this game I bought last week. What do you think?" It was weird that Josh didn't open the door until yet. Usually he already had him at the word 'movie', but Josh didn't respond. "Bro?", he asked again. After a few moments, he grabed the door-knob, it was locked. "Josh?", he asked again, no answer. A moment later, the key was turned and the door opened. "Hey...", Chris said in a low tone, because Josh didn't look good. As he left the dinner table he was okay, but since then, almost two hours later, he looked completely wrecked. What did he do? He looked like he cried, Chris was worried. "I'm not feeling very good, bro. Please, don't be mad, but I just want to be alone, okay?", he said, his voice filled with slight shivers. "Okay, but...", Chris said, but couldn't go into further details, because Josh closed the door again, turning the key.

This wasn't okay, what the fuck was going on with Josh? Chris stood there for another moment, before he went back to his room, right beside Joshs. He couldn't help, but he was sitting on his bed, the TV was running, but he turned the volume off. His head leaned at the wall, just staring in the direction of Joshs room. This was an attitude he didn't know from his brother. There was something going on with him. Something nobody should know and this was really alarming.

But what should he been doing about it? Josh didn't want to talk, his sisters didn't know something either and he guessed that their mother didn't know something at least. Slowly Chris believed there was something with a deeper meaning. Josh was making a show, wearing a mask in front of everybody...

It was the first time he was really worried about his brothers behaviour.

*****

Within the next days Chris noticed that Josh was avoiding him. If he came down to the living room and Josh was there, Chris just said 'Hi' and Josh left the room. Everytime he had another excuse, once it was his computer, another time it was his homework. After three days of complete refusal of any contact, Chris gone mad. He stood at the living room, Josh at the door, halfway going to the hallway. "You fucking stay here and sit down on your goddamn ass, kid! I swear to god, if you don't sit down, I'll forget myself!" They were all sitting there: Joshs mom, Beth and Hannah. Josh turned around, looking in his brothers eyes. Chris clenched his teeth and requested again: "Sit the fuck down, Josh!" - "What's going on Chris?", Melinda said, Hannah and Beth looked asking at Chris. "He's fucking avoiding me! He doesn't even speak with me if I'm asking him something." - "Could you please stop swearing? I guess we can work this out, everything is okay!", his mother said, but Chris interrupted her: "Nothing is okay! He's putting on a show, on everybody here!" Josh responsed with a glance at Chris, he didn't know from him until yet. It wasn't anger, disappointment or something like that. It was fear! Pure fear! Beth, Hannah and Melinda looked over to Josh, waiting for him to say something: "Guys, everything is okay... I'm okay! I just have a really bad time at the moment!" - "What is going on hun?", his mother asked worried, standing up, but Josh lifted his hands, like he was repelling himself. "I'm just tired! I'm stressed, I just need a break, okay?" Melinda wasn't realizing, that Josh already gone a few steps further, right to the hallway. Chris couldn't understand what was going on, they just let him leave, without even a good explanation.

"Why did you let him go, mom?", Chris asked after Josh left the room. "Just leave him be, maybe he is just as stressed as he said. Give him the time he needs, Chris.", she said, but like Hannah and Beth looked at eachother, he knew that they had the same thoughts as himself. Josh was hiding something and nobody knew what it was and why. "I'm worried! He's my brother!"

Chris didn't do anything at this evening against it, but a few days later he should get his chance...

Josh already left the kitchen as Chris joined the group, so Chris pretended, he forgot something in his room. He waited a moment and left the kitchen again, just to follow his brother, but he used another way, leading to a point, they're crossing automatically, because Josh had to go around a corner, where Chris already waited. It was far enough nobody would hear them and he would have his chance...

As Josh walked around the corner, Chris grabed him by his sweater, pushing him to the wall. "Chris... What are you..." He noticed this sound in his brothers voice, first full of surprise, then full of fear and there was something else what he couldn't define. "You're gonna explain, what you're doing! I wanna know, why you're avoiding me!" - "Maybe it's better if you don't know why!", he replied. "I didn't ask for further excuses, you will tell me what the fuck is going on! I'm goddamn worried about you!" - "Why?" - "I don't know why but this isn't okay!" Chris realized something. He wasn't asking him, just because he was worried. He loved his brother and wanted to be with him! "And I miss you for fuckssake!", he said in a lowered voice. A moment later he saw a smile rising on his brothers lips. It was a smile, which could have been bewailing and also be pleased...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm planing to involve some other Until Dawn Characters within the further chapters. There are also plans for Joshs mental illness. But everything to a proper time. ;)
> 
> If you have the urge to join my on tumblr, just go here:  
> http://nachtstrasse.tumblr.com
> 
> Feel free to molest me with your questions. ;) There you can also find some oneshots I'm writing from time to time, which almost doesn't make it to AO3. :)


	3. Confessions and Climbing Class

"Then tell me, what's going on now!" - "Can't we just change the location?", Josh answered, Chris got skeptical, Josh raised his hands to calm him down. "I just don't wanna talk about it in the hallway, okay? If you feel more comfortable, we can use your room, instead of mine. I don't mind!" Chris released him and they went over to Chris' room. After Josh entered, Chris closed and locked-up the door, just in case. He really wanted to know, why his brother was acting like that. "Would you please save my cosience now?" Josh went over to the bed, sat down and kneaded his hands. He already looked like it wasn't easy to deal with what's going on. He looked at Chris, with the same shine in his eyes he had at the living-room. "Why is there so much fear in your eyes? Josh, what's going on?" - "I guess this will change everything with our relationship and I don't know, how to deal with it." Chris went over to his bed, took place beside his brother. His urge to lay a hand on his shoulder was big, but he didn't give in.

"I guess, puberty hit me hard, bro..." - "You're 18 years old Josh, what the hell could be that bad, you can't speak with me about?" Josh licked his lips and looked over to Chris. "I don't know how to explain, dude this is really hard!" - "Just spit it out then!", Chris replied and Josh sighed. "It seems, I'm not really attracted to girls... To be honest, I never have been!" Chris' eyes widened. "You mean, you're gay!" To think of it was one thing, to say it, was too much for Josh. "I don't know!" he responsed in an annoyed voice. "I don't even know what's going on with me lately!" Chris had no problem with his brother being gay, but he asked himself, how he had noticed: "Why do you think, you're... gay?" He felt like being in a Harry Potter book, where the name 'Voldemort' should not be spoken out, just exchanged with the word 'gay'. Okay, he understood it was hard for Josh, realizing with the age of almost 19 years, being one of those guys, who's attracting to men, but he always had thoughts about, that he's different than some other boys at his age. "I'm not sure. I guess I just know it.", Josh replied. Chris opened his mouth, but Josh interrupted him: "Before you ask: No, I never even slept with a guy! I just have the feeling, girls aren't attractive as I thought, okay?" - "What about bi-nosey?" Josh looked at him with a glance, which said, he didn't take him serious: "Being bi-nosey is being torn between two worlds. That's not my kind of thing." Chris took a deep breath. With all the decisions he already made up... For himself, he decided to be pan-sexual, but he didn't ever talk about it. Now, Josh was in a real depressing situation, he just wanna made the best out of it: "You know, I'm pan-sexual and I can live with that!", he said. Josh raised his eyes: "You're what?" - "Pan-sexual! It's not important if it's male or female. Or trans-male, or trans-female. Whatever... _That_ feels tearing, bet on it!" Josh couldn't help, but he let out a laugh. "Seriously?" - "Yep!" It seemed, Chris saved the situation with his confession. Right now, he felt the connection to his brother went even deeper than before. "So, now that we sorted that out, tell me something: Did I ever avoided our contact, or did I do something to you, what questioned our relationship?" - "No, you didn't!", Josh answered. Now Chris laid his arm on his brothers shoulder. "We're family... even better. Because I'm not your real brother, our relationship is deeper than between two real brothers. You can tell me everything! Just like your best friend.", Chris said in a comforting voice and Josh smiled. "See! You're feeling better now, don't you?" Josh noded and Chris leaned his forehead at Joshs temple. They came to the point where Chris felt their connection deepend, honestly deeper as it always had been. To him, it felt good.

*****

"Good morning, my dear little brother!", Beth said, passing Chris' chair at the breakfast table. She gave him a kiss after he looked up from his smartphone: "I wish you a very happy birthday!" - "Me too!", Hannah added and gave him a kiss on his other cheek. "Girls, you're awesome. Thank you very much!" - "But that's not all. Look here!", Beth said and pulled out a little box, giving it to Chris. "We hope you like it." Chris' birthday arrived and as every morning, he was sitting at the table, scrolling through the newest messages on twitter and tumblr, as his sisters gave him that box. This white designed box was covered with a lilac bowtie. Chris couldn't imagine what they bought for him. "I hope you didn't pay much for that!" - "Just open it!", Hannah said and he loosened the tie. As he opened the box, the twins were giggling, Hannah covered his mouth with her hand. "What the hell is that?", Chris said, looking at the thing inside the box. As he looked closer, he found out, it was an 256 gigs USB-Stick, modeled like a teddybear and it looked damn expensive. "I think you can make a use of that?", Beth asked and Chris smiled. "That's so sweet, where did you get that?" - "Secret, little brother!", Hannah said. "Thank you very much, even if you haven't had to buy something!" - "No need to thank you." The sisters sat down, filling their cups with coffee. "Where's Josh?", Hannah asked, but Chris gave a shrug. "I guess, he's still sleeping." - "I'm just happy he is feeling better.", Beth said. "Yeah, what have you done to him?", Hannah added. "Me?", Chris replied, giving her an innocent look. "I did nothing, we just talked a bit!" Honestly, since they talked to eachother, Josh stopped avoiding him. There was still a little distance between the two, but Chris felt remarkably good with it. "Talked about what?", Josh asked, entering the kitchen. "Who is turning 18 today?", he devolved his first question and walked over to Chris. "Feel my morning breath and let me give you a kiss, you goddamn nerd!" Chris widened his eyes as Josh pitched right into him, giving him a kiss straight on his mouth. "Josh, I..." His breath wasn't even bad! No, it tasted like fresh toothpaste and Chris was just kinda shocked about this act of him, but also pleased. For him it was another sign, their relationship got better since they had their conversation and that made him happy. Even more, this was birthday present enough for him. "Ewwww, Josh, you're disgusting!", Hannah said and Josh had just a sheepish grin all over his face, as he sat down, right beside Chris. "Be glad, mum didn't see that, she already has enough worries about you.", Beth said. "I know.", Josh said. They didn't told anybody what they were talking about. It was their little secret and it felt so good to have something like that with Josh.

"Hey bro, where is my present?", Chris asked playfully and Josh looked over to him with a shine in his eyes, Chris felt strange about. "You can bet on it, I've got something really good for you!" Chris was surprised, in a way he didn't know what to expect: "I just hope it's not one of your damn jokes." Josh shook his head and gave him a lopsided grin. Their mother entered the kitchen. "Morning kids.", she said and walked over to the table, getting some coffee. "Happy Birthday Chris.", she said. "Thank you.", he responsed. "Oh...", she mumbled and picked up something out of her trouser pocket: "There, catch it!", she summoned him and threw something over. Chris catched it. It was a key, signed with a broad 'Jeep'-Lable on it, hanging on a 'C'-Keychain, made of stainless steel. "No, you didn't fucking do that! - Do you?", he said in a pitched voice and looked over to her. "I did - And you - god forgive me - fucking take it, boy! And you'll thank your father for that. Like a well fostered boy would do!" Chris' face went all red. "It's blue, it's got a good entertainment system and you'll get a use of this USB-Stick your sisters bought for you, by playing all the music you'll save on it! Deal with it!", Melinda said, leaving Chris completely speachless. Then he looked over to his sisters. "You knew about that?" Beth and Hannah smiled. "It wasn't our task to tell you, Chris." As he looked back to his mother, she was smiling and gave him this gaze, saying 'I totally caught you and there is nothing you can do about it!'.

"I guess, you're the one who'll gift me with a pair of plush-cubes I can hang on my rear-view mirror, or what?", he suggested later, leaving his eyes on Josh, but he shook his head. The girls left the kitchen, their mother was at the living-room, reading the newspapers. "No. I have to disappoint you. My present is nothing like that." - "Okay! I would be happy if you would gift me with nothing, bro!", he said silently. "Why?" Josh seemed really interested in Chris' thoughts. "For me it's gift enough to have you back. To have your trust and your daily attendance." They shared a gaze. "It really made me feel awkward as you avoided me, bro!" - "Be happy to have me back, you dork!", Josh retorted. "So, what's the plan?", Chris asked. "I thought, maybe we could catch up with this movie-night you suggested last time, remember?" Chris heart made a slight jump. "Really? What about college tomorrow?", he asked and Josh snorted: "Just fuck it, bro!" Chris peeked over to his mother, then looked back to Josh. "Okay!"

*****

The day was quite nice. At the afternoon, Hannah, Beth and Josh took him to the city, driving with Joshs car. The girls sang on the backseat, Chris was just happy as they arrived at the parking lot. They went over to a restaurant, having good food, eating until they're full. Chris leaned back, rubbing his belly. "Got enough, bro?", Josh asked and Chris nodded. "Absolutely! What now?" Hannah, Beth and Josh shared a gaze, grinning all over their faces. "What kinda mischief do you plan with me?", he said, Josh started laughing. "You'll see, it'll be a lot of fun!" His voice sounded conspiratorial and Chris wasn't sure he would like what he planed. But whatever - It was his birthday.

On their way Chris got excited, looking forward to the things to come. But as Josh arrived at the destination, he moaned with a loud voice. "Oh come on bro, you gotta be kidding me!" - "Hey, it will be so much fun, see you hanging on a rope, watching your ass cramp all over and listening to your girly whining!" They arrived at the climbing-center and Chris looked over to Josh, really pissed-off. "I'll take a selfie with your hanging ass in the background if you like!", Josh buggered him and the twins started laughing. Chris couldn't help himself and smirked. "You're such a pain in the ass, Josh!" - "Ohhh, you don't know, what pain in the ass I could be, if I get a kick out of it, bro!", Josh retorted.

Twenty minutes later Chris just wished he could get out of here. His fear of heights, mixed with his disrelish of sports was a perfect concept for Josh to bugger him. "What's up there, bro. Come on, you're hanging there for five minutes, move your ass!", he shouted, as loud as everybody could hear him. Hannah hung beside him, just a few steps above. She looked over to Chris and saw the slight fear in his eyes. "Just look up, you're almost there." - "Yeah, but I have to go down again, you know?", he answered and got a comforting look from his sister. "Oh come on, Cochise! I'm boooooored!" Josh pulled on the rope, which secured Chris. It was just a slight pull, but he already felt the moves and he got sick one moment up to another. "Just give him a break.", he heard Beth saying and was relived he wasn't alone with his brother. On her way down, Hannah stopped at Chris and swung over. "Hey, are you okay?" - "Yeah, I just feel kinda sick!", Chris replied. "Josh, let him down!", Hannah summoned him and Josh eased off the rope, so Chris slowly came down. Down on the floor again, Chris leaned against the wall, completely pale in his face. Josh realized his condition and went over to him, laying his hand on Chris' shoulder: "Hey, are you okay?" Chris nodded: "Yeah, I just can't take heights as good as I would like to. Just give me a break. I'll be okay." As they shared a glance, Chris noticed his worried look, maybe he had gone too far and didn't even know it. "As soon as I'm okay, it's your turn! Let's see, how good you really are!" Josh smiled at him again, this was help enough to stand up again.

"You're doing great up there, bro!" Josh was even faster than Chris and arrived almost the top, just ten minutes later. After he came down again, he was happy. "You're good!" - "Just as good as the one holding the rope, you know?", he replied and smiled.


	4. Unprepared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn't as long as usual, but today was a very rough day for me. ;) But I still hope, it's just enough for now. ;)
> 
> Comments welcome, as always!

As they arrived at home, the girls hugged Chris and gave him a peck on the cheek, before they went upstairs. It was already dark outside, the evening with Josh was awaiting. "Prepared for an evening full of Jumpscares and shit?", Josh asked and Chris smirked: "Count me in!", he said and took off the second layer of four. His brother shook his head: "How the heck is this necessary? Seriously bro? Four layers?" - "It's still cold outside. I don't wanna fuck with nature and get a cold, you know!" He took out the third layer and ran through his hair, causing some clicking noises, because they were electrically charged through all the clothing. "With all you got I always forget what a damn dork you are!", Josh said, leaving a lopsided grin on Chris face.

"So, what do you have?", Chris asked and Josh gave him the DVDs. None of them really touched Chris's taste for this evening. After this hard day, he was pleased to get the ease of his comforting bed. At the end, they decided to watch a movie they already knew, what ended up with ignoring the movie for itself and speaking to eachother. The volume was just low, Chris was all curled up in his blanket, Josh sat beside him, his knees pulled tight to his chest, his blanket laying over his shoulders. "You know, I always knew there is something going on with you, you don't wanna talk about.", Chris said and Josh leaned his chin on his knees. Their discussion started with a little chitchat and went deeper, the more they talked. "I wasn't ready to say somebody. You're actually the only one who knows it." - "I appreciate that, really! But what do you think? You're gonna tell it to mom and dad?" Josh looked at him, he knew immediatly he wasn't ready for that. "No, not yet... And please, don't think about to tell it to Hannah or Beth." - "No worries, your secret is safe with me.", Chris smiled and Josh laid down, right beside him, so they could look at each other, just without moving. The blonde noticed a movement under the blanket, the next second, Josh touched his fingers, combined with a slight stroke. "I wasn't always nice to you." - "No, you weren't.", Chris retorted, but Josh wasn't mad at him. No, he just goes on with his talk: "I never even wanted a brother. But today, I'm happy you're here." Chris realized, Josh was intertwining his fingers with his and he felt a prickle, wandering straight from his neck, down to his belly... it felt incredibly good. "Exactly I can't believe, why I had this manner all the time." - "Hey!", Chris summoned him with a low voice. "It's not your fault. You acted just like a normal kid... I'm not mad with you either." After a moment of silence, Josh looked him hight into his eyes. "I'm sorry for what happened with your parents." - "Why? I mean... I'm sad, because... just because. But..." For a moment, he avoided the sight of Josh. "Without all this shit we probably never met. I'm happy with our family. I have siblings now, you know?" With his tought in mind, he felt his teeth jittering. He was nervous in a way, his thoughts went all fuzzy. There was this silence between the two. Nobody of them said something more...

They were just happy...

It was already 3 am as Chris woke up. He was still half in his sleep, just the TV englighted the room. Chris laid on his side, feeling something embracing his chest. He realized it was Josh, completely adapted to him. His head was resting in the crook of his neck, he felt his breath on his skin, softly tickling. There was nothing between them, not even a sheet. But Chris was too tired to turn around, so he just touched Josh, stroking his neck. He lowered his face, smelled Joshs hair and noticed a silent groan from him, just ran down Chris' side with his hand. The prickle in his body came back, as Josh lifted his head, giving Chris' chin a little nudge with his nosetip, just responsed with a short sigh. The blonde didn't want to open his eyes. The feeling was kinda overwhelming, even if he couldn't explain where it came from. Next thing he noticed was Joshs nose again, touching his own and he literally tasted his breath on his lips. The upcoming tense was unbearable, but Chris didn't know how to react - although he was still half-sleeping. In his mind was still a thought about them, being brothers, but he never felt that attracted to someone else like in exactly this moment. His fear to do anything wrong, was finally taken out of his hands, as Josh stretched a little forward and kissed Chris on his lips. It was like a shy kiss, just like a question, if it's okay, what he's doing. Chris couldn't help it, screwed all of his toughts and leaned in. He felt his heart pounding hard in his chest, his mind was all blured and he just wanted to response Joshs kisses. He felt Joshs hand at his ear, gently stroking his earlap. Josh didn't know, it was a very sensitive spot of Chris, together with his neck and his groin, but he didn't wanna imagine, Josh really wanted something like that from him now. He grabbed after his hand, just wanted to stay safe, nothing should destroy this situation and intertwined his fingers with Joshs instead. He didn't want to get hard, because it was just wrong. But what about those kisses? Actually the whole situation was wrong... But Chris couldn't think clearly. He just knew he didn't want to do anything wrong. As Josh moved a bit, he sensed in his lower region, Josh didn't care about things, Chris wasn't sure about. Honestly, Chris was overstrained by his brothers arousal. "Josh...", he whispered, but his brother just wanted to go on kissing. "Josh... we're gonna regret this...", he tried to say, almost swallowed by another kiss from Josh. They parted, Josh panting, leaning his forehead against Chris neck. "I'm sorry...", he said, what was enough for Chris. He couldn't be mad at his brother. He stroked his neck, just with his fingertips and gave him a kiss on his head. "It's okay...", he shushed him. They didn't even had the intention to get parted from each other. They just stopped kissing and fell into another doze...

*****

The other morning Chris woke up, still clunged by Josh. First, he closed his eyes again, sticking his nose into his brothers hair, until he remembered what happened last night. Did they actually kissed each other? The more he was thinking about it, the merrier his memories came back. Yeah, they kissed, initiated by Josh... what ended with Chris, noticing his brother was getting hard, while he didn't want to for himself. The fact that he stopped this, loaded off his mind and he took a deep breath. While Josh was still sleeping, he thought about what could have happened and was kinda eased it didn't escalate.

"Hey there, sleepyhead.", he whispered, responsed with a swallowed moan, because Joshs face was still sticking to Chris' chest. Chris nuzzled at his hair and pulled on a few with his lips, retorted by Josh, biting in Chris' nipple through the fabric of his shirt. "Ow! Fuck it, Josh!", he spat out and Josh let him loose, snorting under the blanket. "That's not a nice manner to wake somebody up, bro!", he said. Now Josh lifted his head, glancing over to Chris, who yawned, whereupon Josh sticked his face back in his brothers shirt. "Slept well?", he asked with a raspy voice. "Yeah, even if I don't know how to think about what happened with you..." - "What do you mean?" Joshs deep voice gave Chris the heebie-jeebies. "I don't know what you mean.", Josh lamented. "You know exactly what I mean!", Chris retorted and Josh looked up to him. "Don't act like you didn't like it." Josh was right... and he knew it. But that wasn't the point. Chris didn't know how to handle it. "You know... it wasn't like I didn't like it, but I don't know how to deal with it, because - and I hope you didn't forget that - I'm your brother!" - "... and?", Josh responsed. "Ever heard of incest? It's a crime." - "Not if we don't tell anybody... and by the way: Wasn't it you, who said, he isn't even my biological brother?" Chris didn't want to go all mad with Josh. "Yeah, I know... Actually, I don't know, if it's illegal or not in this constellation." - "There you have it!", Josh answered and just got back a moaning voice from his brother. "I don't like you anymore!", he said, just for the sake of it, obviously didn't mean it serious. They shared a gaze. "We have to watch out... This isn't right, Josh! It just isn't." Chris voice was gently. Deep in his inner self he realized that he wanted to do it again, to kiss his brother... in a way which wasn't right... "I know... and that's the problem..." Chris lifted an eyebrow and noticed in Joshs glance, that there was even something bigger, he didn't know. "What?", he asked. "There's a reason I found out, being gay...", Josh said and Chris sensed this would lead to something really serious. "You don't want to tell me you've got a crush on me, do you?", he said and Josh avoided immediatly his sight.


	5. Denial and Chain Reactions

Before they could go deeper into that conversation, the door was slowly opened and Melinda sticked her head into the room. Because Josh completely hid under the blanket, she didn't see him and Chris noticed, Josh was just clunging tighter, not to blow up the blanket... Not that they had to shame themselves, but it must have been a strange view to see the brothers cuddling in one bed. "Chris, aren't you awake yet? What about college? Are you okay?" He lifted his head, looking more tired than he really was, just to calm down the situation. "No mum... My first lecture is later today." It made him nervous, feeling Joshs hot breath on his chest, right through the fabric. "Okay... Didn't know that. Just come down, have some breakfast." - "Yeah, mom... Just give me another ten minutes." 

She closed the door and Josh looked up to Chris. "We have to fucking watch out, what we're doing! It might be no problem to sleep in bed together, but if she sees you here, coming off with that piece of wood between your legs it might be not that good anymore!", he said, Josh started laughing. "Don't act like you don't have a morning glory... The fabric of your shorts isn't that thick, you know?" Chris rolled his eyes and smiled. "You know what?", he said with a softly voice. "What?" Josh was looking at him. "I like what happened... But I'm not sure if we should go further with that. I don't want to be mad with you, cause I love you... as my brother. I just don't want to lose you, or getting separated from you." - "What do you think we should do about it?" Chris took a deep breathe, before he replied. "I dunno... Maybe we should just remember this night as something special... I... I dunno, Josh..." He gave up with his thoughts. He knew that it was one of the most wonderfull things ever happened to him and he would do it again without hesitation, but it just wasn't right. After a few moments of silence, Josh moved a bit, making eye-contact with Chris. "May I ask for one little last kiss, Cochise?", he asked and Chris felt himself completely melting away. On one side he hated Josh for his ability to twist him around his finger, but on the flipside it was... it was too tempting, not to lean-in. Chris turned around with him, so he was on top of Josh. "One last kiss... just one!", he whispered. The view of Joshs, slightly opened lips was kinda frustrating and arousing, all at the same time. But he didn't want to lose control, so he leaned down and kissed Josh on his lips. He caught himself, just want to stick his tongue into Joshs mouth, but he calmed himself down. 

Their kiss didn't last long, because Chris had to get part of that, not to give up his control completely. As they parted, he felt a slight move in his lower region, Josh was bucking his hips, just like a little nudge. "Don't...", Chris whispered. "... he said and couldn't help himself!", Josh mocked him, showing a cheeky grin.

After they stood up, they went down to get some breakfast. Melinda was wondering, why Josh was at home too, but she didn't ask him about college. They ate something and it was like before everything else happend. Clearly, they seemed to get along better than before. Chris tried not to think about what happened that night, but he also knew, Josh wouldn't give up that easily. Did he really had a crush on him? If it was for real, it must have been hard for Josh to deal with Chris refusing him. Another thought was, that he heard about siblings which got parted and met after twenty years, they dated at accident and felt like there was something wrong as they kissed. He himself didn't feel anything like this. They said, it felt like there was an invisible wall between them. Josh was his brother on a paper, but... Why did things always had to be that complicated?

*****

Surprisingly the next days passed without any further happening. Josh didn't bother Chris with something again and he started to think, the crush of his brother was just a thing, which was not that important as it seemed. He had to admit, that sometimes in his mind he remembered this night, where they have been kissing. It was a good feeling, but also relieving there wouldn't be more problems, causing by this act.

One evening Josh knocked at his brothers door and went into the room. Chris was watching TV, his lights completely turned off. "Hey Cochise... Mom said, we should make a few more plans for our birthday party in a few weeks.", he said and sat down on Chris' bed. He, who was already curled up in his blanket turned off the volume of his TV. "Anything in particular?" - "She wants to know, what to eat and all that shitty stuff... Things we don't really need and so on... Man, I don't want to make these plans. Couldn't they just commission a fucking catering service?" Chris sat up and looked over the plans Josh already had written down. "They would do better... I mean, I don't mind what we'll eat or drink, I just want to have a nice time at Blackwood Pines. I don't care! Especially because I'm always eating the same things..." 

Josh sat on his bed, staring on his list, without even really looking at it. Chris noticed, he was in thoughts, without actually listening. "Everything okay bro?", Chris said and Josh nodded, but at the same time he said: "No..." - "What's up then?" Josh looked up to him, took a deep breath. "Promise you won't hit me!" Chris didn't say anything, just folded his arms and waited, already knowing what Josh was going to say. "I just can't forget what we did, Chris...", he said. The blonde just waited for more explanations from his brother. It wasn't easy for him either, but his self-control was too strong to give-in with everything. I just had to stop! "Night after night I'm laying in my bed, don't know how to handle it, while you're laying on the other side of the wall." Chris knew exactly what he was thinking of and how he felt. "Josh... do we really have to start with that again?", he said, his voice still comforting in a way. He took off his glasses, put them on the bedside table and rubbed his eyes. "What do you think we should do?", he started and caught himself by saying something he thought for a few days, but didn't talk about it with Josh: "I'll tell you something: Give me one good concept, how we can work this out without any further consequences and I'll give in!" Joshs eyes widened, he didn't anticipated something like that, coming from Chris. "Come on... Josh, you want it so bad, but you don't have a plan! Me neither! I... I just don't know how!" 

With one moment to another, Chris went on with his speach: "You know... I just know, I'm feeling lost without you! You always mocked me and I loved you in a way I couldn't discribe to anybody else! Since you came to me, talking about you're gay, I just feel like there is finally somebody who understand me. Do you believe I don't think about what we've done? Or that it would be easy for me? You're such a dickbag sometimes, but I love you!" - "What about if we just give this thing a try? Without anybody knows? I mean... We're not that stupid, that we couldn't hide it. Be honest: We both want this, so why don't we give it a try?" - "Because we're still living at home! Somebody will caught us in the act, sooner or later!" His voice became a bit louder. "I love you, but I'm scared too, do you understand that?" Josh nodded. "But...", he responsed. Chris felt like the situation completly overwhelmed him. This conversation was leading to nothing. Why wasting time, if there was any for something else? "Just fuck it!", he said, stretching over to Josh, pushing him down to the matress, holding his wrists, nailing them beside Joshs head. He breathed deeply, while Josh was looking at him ravenously, followed by trying to stretch his head up to Chris, lingering for a kiss. But Chris moved his head back, not giving Josh the chance to touch his lips, he just strenghtened his grip on Joshs wrists. 

The view of Joshs slight opened lips made him crazy, he leaned down a bit, just to appeal his brother, lingering for a kiss again. Josh panted, wanted to kiss him so bad, but Chris teased him just further more. He bit on his own lower lip and cocked his head, before he reached out with his tongue, touching Joshs lips just with it's tip, while his brother was moaning in need. After that he bent down to Joshs neck, giving him a soft kiss, murmured: "What if I leave a hickey on your neck?" Josh just groaned in Chris' ear, he could hear the rattling noise of Joshs chattering teeth, feeling his body was shivering below him. Chris eased his grip whereupon Josh looped his arms around his neck, pulling him into a deep embrace. "Just kiss me already!", he said and Chris gave up. The kiss followed was even deeper as the ones they shared that night, Chris felt Joshs tongue on his lips, requesting to entrance in his mouth. It was just a really sweet kiss, they shared. As they parted and Chris was heading to Joshs neck again, he moaned his name, leaving Chris with the feeling that there was no way to avoiding all of this. He had to admit, that he wanted Josh since he kissed him on his mouth at the morning of his birthday, just didn't even know about it.

But now wasn't the time for more... Anybody could join them in their room any minute. Especially if their mother waited for the results of the list and the door was unlocked. As incredible as it sounds, but in a strange way Chris got a kick out of knowing they could get caught. "Josh... we have to stop...", Chris panted, while his brother bit in his earlap, full of arousal. Chris clenched his teeth... Josh had finally succeed... He was fucking hard and didn't have the option to give it any ease... not yet! He stuttered, hoped that Josh would just stop, nuzzling his ear, but as he ran down his side with his hand again, accidentally touching the parts near his groin, Chris couldn't help it... too high was this tense in his body, backed up for the few last days since they first kissed. He burried his face in the crook of Joshs neck, biting into his shirt to get rid of the pressure. He moaned one last time and died his little death, being noticed by Josh, who couldn't hold on and gave him a satisfied grin. "Your talent to combine the worst things at the wrong time is fabulous, Josh!", Chris gasped with a ironical undertone, replied with a slight laugh from his brother. "I didn't know, you're so sensitive right there." Chris took a deep breath, looking at his brother. "Now you know it...", he responded and gave Josh another kiss on his lips, before he withdrew from his brother, looking at his pants. "Great... another piece for the next laundry.", he said, while Josh sat up again, still grinning.

In the end they came to the agreement to choose the service from a caterer for the party. Concerning their relationship they decided to watch out for everything. It turned into something real, but they had to be carefull... to big was the risk they could've been caught. Everytime they met in one of their rooms, they used the chance by closing the door, starting to kiss, just to part from each other if they had to head back to another place. It was like a little dirty secret they kept for themselves. And it was just a matter of time, something unexpected would happen.


	6. Cooking up a story

From that point, it was kinda ritual on every evening. After Josh and Chris went to bed, they waited. Within those minutes of waiting, Chris' heart was excited. First he calmed himself down. But the closer the moment for Josh to come over, the more he lost control over his heartbeat and exitement. After everyone went to bed, Josh stood up and changed the room. It was their time, filled with the backed up emotions, they had to keep secret through the day. Sometimes there was a slight brush from Josh over Chris' ass as he passed him, a little touch now and then, but nothing more. The signal was always the same: a special knocking-code on the wall. They shared time, exchanged tenderness and after a few hours Josh left Chris' room again, so nobody became suspicious. Once in a while Chris switched over to Josh, but it was always a thing they had pre-decided.

One night, Chris was in Joshs room, they laid in Joshs bed. It was the first time, Chris decided it was okay to take his shirt off. Before that, they never took each others clothes off, but this time temptation ran over Chris. He saw Joshs enjoyment in his eyes, by touching his pale skin, leading his fingertips over Chris' chest, but before he could go further, Chris took his hand and laid it on his shoulder, just to get closer to his brother. So Josh looped his arms around Chris' neck, followed by another kiss. The blonde felt Joshs tongue touching his, softly biting his lip, while his hands went down to the waistband of Joshs boxer briefs. He pulled at his shirt and slipped it over Joshs head. It was the first time they got that close, skin on skin. Chris couldn't help it, after Josh ran through his hair, he touched him at his waist, gliding down to his thigh, pulling Josh even closer to him. He felt his heartbeat, right next to his own, an unsteady beat, what aroused him just some more. Josh moaned, leaning his head back, whereupon Chris kissed his throat. "I can't believe we really doing this...", Josh stuttered, followed by a pleasured sigh from Chris. Within their passion they shared a gaze, just leading to another kiss. Even if Chris decided to take his shirt off, he wasn't ready for more than just touching each other a bit. Josh noticed his retreat and accepted it. All he wanted was sharing time with Chris and he was happy to get everything his brother admitted to. It didn't take long and instead of walking over to his own room again, Chris fell into a doze, so as Josh. Chris stayed in bed with his brother and slept until the next morning arose.

"God morning, my beloved brother, wake uuuuuuup!" - It was Beth, who rushed into the room to wake up her brother. Chris, still laying in Joshs bed woke up, totally shocked and looking at Beth with his eyes widened. "Oh my god, what are YOU doing here?", Beth said with a confused voice. "What the hell is going on?", Josh groaned, rubbing his eyes. "Can't I just get my fucking sleep without any damn surprises? For fucksake!" Josh really was annoyed by Beths actions, while Chris and her still looking at each other, completely filled with insecurity, Beth almost with a little disgust. "What the hell are you doing here?" The next thing she saw was Chris' shirt, laying on the floor. Chris didn't say anything, just because he didn't know how to respond. Josh was just angry. "Just get the fuck out of here!", Josh almost shouted, his voice turned louder. Beth lifted her hands, like there was something she couldn't deal with and went a few steps backwards. "Beth... don't... please..." Chris tried to ease the situation, but the other moment Beth left the room and slammed the door. Chris turned to Josh immediatly: "I just told you, we shouldn't do that! What now? She knows it!" - "Just calm down goddamnit! There is nothing you should worry about!" Chris couldn't understand his brother, the other moment he hit him on his arm, just out of protest. "Ow! What the fuck was that for?" Chris stood up, picked up his shirt and put it on. "Because you're a goddamn asshole and because I believed we could get this thing managed... Whatever... I have to go to Beth and cook up a story! Just hope for yourself she'll believe me!" He took a deep breath, meanwhile Josh realized the full range of consequences. But before he could say something, Chris stopped him: "And you... We'll speak about that later! Don't ever touch me again!", he spat out and left the room as fast as he could. 

Beth was at the end of the floor, right at the stairs up to her room. Chris ran and stopped her by pulling her wrist. "Beth! Please wait!" - "Don't touch me!" From one moment to another he felt a coldness coming from Beth, he never knew she was able to. He released her, saying: "I can explain it. Just listen to me!" - "Do I really wanna know, what you did with my brother?", she said and Chris bit his lip. What she said hurt him deep inside. She was speaking as he wasn't her brother... which he wasn't... but she never made him feel like it. "It's not as it seem. Can we get to your room so I can explain?" Beth waited for a moment, turned around, going up to her room, Chris followed her. He closed the door after they entered the room and Beth sat down on her bed. "I'll give you two minutes! Choose well with what you're saying." Chris tried to calm himself down. One false word and Beth would probably tell anyone what she saw. The story he had in mind was something he was thinking about for a few days now, just in case. He just didn't know he would need it so soon. "It's my fault... I... Within the last days I didn't feel well, especially within the evenings. It's this goddamn time of the year, where these things are in my mind... The nightmares, you know? I talked to Josh and he said if I need any help, I could come over and sleep in his room." - "And that's why you had to take your shirt off?", Beth asked skeptically. Okay, this was a thing, Chris haven't had an excuse for, but he tried to stay calm. "It was just too warm, that's all..." Like how Beth looked at him, he wasn't sure, she swallowed the bait. "... says the one, who's always wearing up to five layers!" Chris' heart sank into his boots. "Beth, what else should I say? I'm not feeling good about everything at all!", he said, hoping, she didn't think something bad about him. After all, she was his sister and their relationship was always more than good before this thing happend. "You and Josh... Two guys I'll never understand...", she said and folded her arms, while Chris just waited. What she said then, hit him completely by surprise: "On the flipside, you and Josh aren't even real brothers..." To maintain his and Joshs charade, he sighted: "Beth... there wasn't anything you have to worry about! Please, what if I say, we're getting along better within the last weeks? Would that be a help for you to believe me?" Beths look was still insecure, but Chris noticed, she relaxed a bit. "You two goofballs are always wrestling around, if you don't there's something not in order!", she replied and Chris smiled. "Be happy we're getting along... We all just have a benefit of it, don't you think?" Beth nodded slowly. "It's okay, but just because I don't have the time to think about something like that further... I just tried to wake Josh up, because we have to pack things... Remember? We're driving to Blackwood Pines today!" - A thing, Chris almost forgot. "Oh my gosh, I completely forgot that...", he responded.

*****

Beth kept it for herself what she saw in Joshs room, but Chris didn't talk to him for the whole day. Otherwise he had to pack things for their time at Blackwood Pines and didn't want to forget something. He was busy, planing which clothes he would bring, as Josh entered his room, closing the door behind him. "Chris?", he said, but Chris didn't react. Josh came over, trying to get his attention. "What do you want from me?", Chris replied, looking at him. "What about Beth? Did she... " - "She won't make an effort, to tell anybody! Just calm the fuck down, Josh!" A moment of silence followed. "Happy now?", Chris asked, but there was something in his voice, Josh couldn't understand. "What about us now?", he asked. "What, what about us? Nothing about us!", he answered and put some of his clothes in his bag. "What do you mean with nothing about us?" - "I mean..." Chris took a deep breath, sat down on his bed and glanced over to Josh. "I think maybe it's better, if we don't intensify this thing, Josh... Maybe next time it's mom or - for christsake - dad... I don't think both of them will dispose it as some of my nightmare issues, as I told Beth!" His voice was still settled, because he knew being aggravated was a waste of time. He threw the last shirt into his bag and went over to Josh, who was now busy to swallow some tears. He was teary-eyed and Chris brushed his cheek as he saw it. "Please... please don't..." - "What else should I do? You're leaving me!" These eyes were just one of Joshs characteristics he loved so much, beside the few inches he was smaller than Chris. He couldn't see him cry. "I'm so sorry, Josh...", he said and his brother broke their eye-contact, nestled his face into the palm of Chris' hand. A second later Chris pulled him into a tight hug. "I still love you! But we should allow the situation to cool down, okay?", he whispered and felt Josh nodding into his shirt. He didn't realize before, Josh was that deep in his crush with him... Chris was just scared, somebody could caught them, nothing else. But he also knew, it was too soon to break up with everything.

"Are you ready boys? We're leaving in ten minutes!", they heard Melinda calling. "Yeah, just another moment!", Chris answered, looking Josh in his eyes again. "Let's enjoy our time at Blackwood Pines, okay?", he said. "Okay...", Josh answered, his mood lightened up a bit.

*****

Because Bob was still on his location for filming, they could use the family car. They didn't use it very often, but it had enough space for everyone to sit for himself. Chris was sitting in the front, beside his foster-mother, but he caught himself by looking almost the whole tour out of the window. He was deep in his thoughts and he didn't want to look over to Josh too often.

"What's going on with you dear?", Melinda asked after a while. Chris looked over to her, showing a little smile. "Nothing. Why do you ask?", he answered. "You're so silent... I mean, I can remember you couldn't get your mouth shut while we drove to Blackwood a few years ago. You okay?" He noticed, Beth was listening their conversation, while Josh and Hannah fell asleep. "It's just..." Chris swallowed hard. In a strange way his feelings played kinda prank on him. He felt sorry for being rude with Josh before, feeling the love he had for him. And there was this story he had told to Beth. Everything broke down above him. "... the highways... the car... you know? It's even the weather, what fucks me up...", he mumbled, looking away from his foster-mother, because he couldn't hold on his tears anymore. Melinda glanced at her foster-son for a moment, laying a hand on his temple, brushing slightly over it and Chris closed his eyes, avoiding her sight. "Everything will be okay Chris..." Chris just nodded. On one side, he was glad, because knitting this little story for Beth wasn't that far from reality, but on the flipside he shed tears because of his dodgy relationship with Josh. Within the next moment, Chris felt Beths fingers at his neck, stroking down to his shoulder, laying her hand down on him. He grabbed for it, saying: "Thanks Beth..." and everything was okay... in kinda way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slight drama, but it had to be written... ;) I hope, next chapter is better with that... ;)
> 
> Comments - as always - are very welcome! ;)


	7. Clearing things up

As they drove through the night, they arrived Blackwood Pines at noon. Chris felt sick, like always on journeys with too much highway-flair on it. They packed everything up to the cable car, before they entered it. On their way up to the lodge, Melinda put the key in her pocket, looking at the kids. "You look pretty tired, all of you..." Hannah looked up. "If Joshs shoulder wouldn't be that hard, my sleep would have been good, but..." Josh glanced at her, his eyes still half-shut. "I'm not that hard, why do you say something like that?" Chris couldn't help it but he grinned and Beth snorted out, because he said it like a grumpy child. Josh grinned too, saying: "You hurt my feelings!" - "I didn't even know, you had any!", Hannah retorted with an ironic undertone.

One hour later they were ready to get things going. Everything was on it's right place, they just had to relax within their free time. The party for Chris and Josh was planed for the upcoming weekend, since Josh turned 19 on Saturday. So it fit very well. Until then, they just had a few more days to chill. Chris was sitting in his room. Everytime they arrived here, he felt cold and put on some more clothes. He didn't know where it came from, but that was the reason he took so many clothes with him. Josh always laughed about that, but if somebody compared Chris and Joshs family, he could see immediatly, that Chris was someone who's always freezing. "Must be our hot blooded genes, I guess...", Josh once said and he was right.

"I've been searching for you, why are you sitting here?", Josh said as he entered Chris' room. "Because I'm cold and I just want to warm up. Is that a problem?", he answered and Josh went over to him. "Come on! The girls and I wanna go outside, turning on that generator. I thought you would join us." Chris shook his head. "To be honest, I would prefer it being alone!" - "You're warming up out there automatically, if you just move yourself a little bit. Come on, Cochise. If you doesn't want for yourself, do it for me. I would appreciate it." Chris sighted. "Okay, okay... Just let me pick up the right shoes, okay?" Five minutes later they joined the girls, whose standing outside the door, breathing the fresh air. "It's always so nice here.", Hannah said, cuddling into her vest, made of fakefur. "Yeah, and a few degrees colder...", Chris added and Beth laughed. "I just waited for you to put on a few more layers. Is there actually a point, there are too many of them at all for you?", she mocked him, while Chris face turned red. "Literally no... If I'm cold, I'm cold. What's the problem with you people?", he said. "At least he could give us a shirt or two, if we're freezing.", Josh added and gave Chris a lopsided grin. "Am I right, Cochise?" - "No, you don't. I'll let you freeze your buns off, if you don't know what to wear within these temperatures." The girls were giggling, while Josh grabbed him into a half-assed headlock. "Hey, what... what are you doing?", Chris complained.

*****

After they started the generator, Josh looked over to Chris. "Wanna join me for a little walk?", he said. Chris, staring at Beth and Hannah, whose were talking to each other, nodded. "Why not..." - "Girls, Chris and I are gonna go for a walk. We'll join you later again, okay?" Beths look made Chris feel uncomfortable in a way, but Hannah nodded. "Okay... just watch out. Mom told me, we should be carefull, since there are many deer in the woods this year." - "Okay! See ya!", Josh said, walking deeper into the woods. After they were out of sight, he glanced at Chris. "What do you think? Do we get some time for ourself?" Chris wasn't sure what to say. "Where do you really wanna go, Josh?", he asked a few moments later. "Nothing serious bro. I just wanna pick up some memories." Chris didn't know what he meant, but soon he learned.

"There it is..." Josh walked straight to a certain tree and looked up. Chris followed his view. "Remember?", was the only thing Josh said and Chris knew immediatly, what was going on. "Just don't break your leg!" - "Just give me a step-up, will ya? This thing has grown since we were 15. I hope I can catch this branch over there. The rest is easy. I'll give you a little help to join me then." Josh really wanted to climb up there, Chris realized. "I just hope, we don't fall off..." Chris was worried, but gave his brother the step-up he needed and got help from him, after Josh climbed up to the branch. As they were younger, it was easy to climb up the tree. Now, a few years later Chris was just scared and insecure. Together with his fear of heights this wasn't a real good mix after all. "Just don't look down, Cochise!", Josh said and Chris did, what he was told not to. "Too late, bro!" He paused for a moment, closing his eyes and speaking to himself, that it wasn't a problem, that he was save and it made him feel a little better.

Josh was already up. Even the plattform they had nailed up there was still intact, just a slight film of moss was growing on it. Josh looked down to Chris, reached for him with his hand. "I'll help you, come on!", he said and Chris felt kinda relieved. "You sure this thing will last our weight? I mean, we're heavier since last time." Josh didn't answer and Chris saw why. He had been taken out a pack of cigarettes, together with a lighter. "You don't put that thing on, will ya?" But Josh already took one cigarette out, sticking it between his lips. "What the hell are you doing?", Chris said and Josh grinned. The cigarette wiggled, while he answered Chris question: "If I won't get anything else between my lips, I have to find an Alternative." His grin made Chris nervous. "Do you always have to turn red in your face if I use some weasel words?" Before Chris could make a fuss about it, he took out the cigarette. "Just let us enjoy our time here... I actually have somthing in mind, how we can get some time together." Chris stared at him, his sight asking. "You don't know everything about the lodge yet... Be sure, I was busy, finding out everything about this place within the last weeks. You would be surprised, if you knew what I found out." - "Then just tell me!", Chris answered, but Josh shook his head. "Not yet... be patient. You'll know soon enough." The blonde leaned to the piece of wood behind him, folded his arms and took a deep breath. The silence was great, he had to admit.

"You sure, you still want that?" Josh looked over to his brother, who asked him the question. He knew what he meant and nodded. "Of couse I want. If not, I wouldn't have you taken over here. We just have to find us a place where we can do whatever we want, without being interupted. Everything else will be okay." Josh took their relationship really easy, but Chris was still worried. Because what about the time they would be home again? But Josh seemed to be prepared for everything. "Just be honest... We're 18 years old, I'll turn 19 this weekend. What do you wanna do after college? We're already old enough to take an apartment for ourselves. And even if it's easy to stay home and drive to college every day, it just would be easier to live together in a place where we're on our own. You just have to take what you can get. Sell your car, do what ever you want, but please... move out with me..." Chris never saw his brother meaning something that serious. And he was wondered where these thoughts came from. He didn't even had the time to think about. Why didn't he tell him earlier? It was like Josh read his mind: "It's not that this things came into my mind just yet. Why the hell do you think I was saying, you should take that fucking car, without even having a license?" - "But how...", Chris asked and Josh shrugged his shoulders. "It's not that this crush on you is there, since I avoided your contact and such. This was just a sign, I couldn't take it anymore." Chris was kinda shocked. How long did he carry this with himself? "How long...?", he asked and Josh looked down to the piece of wood they were sitting on. "Three years... and don't ask me, how I got all these things managed. I don't even know it." Chris said nothing, he just stared at him. "Now you know, in what kinda hell I went through within these years. And how hurt I was as you said, I should never touch you again. It was like living in a dream as we finally got to the point, being together and all these things." - "Oh Josh, I'm so sorry!", Chris tried to excuse himself, but Josh just nodded. "It's okay... I just had to find the right time to tell you everything, you know. I didn't want to do that at home. You already have seen what happened. I just wanted to speak with you alone. But if you really want to be together with me, we have to do this. There is no other possibility."

For Chris these thoughts were acceptable and he could deal with that. "The only thing I'm not sure about is: Do you really want to be in a relationship with me?", Josh said and picked up a thought, Chris already had. "Do you love me? Honestly?", he added and Chris wasn't sure, what to say exactly. He bit his lips, constructing an answer in his mind, like he dealt with everything. "Sure! I love you Josh. The only thing I have in mind is: Do we get problems, if someone finds out? As much as I love our family, but... I also realized that I love you more than everything else. Even if it doesn't sound like this and I don't act like that. You know that's kinda flaw of me." - "You and your goddamn wall around yourself.", Josh mocked him, but saying it in a sympathetic tone.

"Just give me a little time to deal with it, okay?" Josh could accept that and smiled. "By the way... I already asked mom if we could stay two more days up here, just being by ourselves." Chris widened his eyes. "How did you come up with that?" - "Beth and Hannahs college will start on Thursday again, so they'll leave on Wednesday, while we have two... maybe up to four days for ourselves up here, if we stay until Sunday. What do you think?" Chris was speechless. "You already planned everything, didn't you?" His smirk said enough. "I just didn't tell mom yet, I just asked if it's okay. Because I wanted to wait, if you're okay with it." - "Of course I am!", Chris replied.

They sat in the tree for a few more hours. Now that their situation was clear, Chris could finally relax a bit. As they headed back to the lodge, it was getting dark on the mountain.

*****

As they arrived back at the lodge, it was warm inside. Chris pulled off two of his layers, a jacket and a shirt, before he went over to the couch. Beth and Hannah were curled up within a thick blanket, the chimney was lit on with a fire and it was just cosy. "Where have you been boys?", their mother asked. "Just refreshing some memories.", Josh said and took place beside his sisters. "I just hope you didn't climb up that tree, you hung out as you were younger!", she mumbled and Chris was sneaking over to his brother. "Nooo... don't worry!", he lied. "Oh, by the way: You can go to the kitchen if you're hungry. I brought something from home. Just put it into the microwave." Josh was already on his way to the kitchen as Chris asked her: "Would you mind if I'm taking a bath in the tub later?" Melinda shook her head: "No hun, just go for it. Make yourself comfortable.", she said and Chris gave her a peck on the cheek, before he joined Josh in the kitchen.


	8. Pulling out the cork

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With this chapter I had to edit the tags... So... everybody who waited for it... Just have fun! ;) - And maybe leave a comment! Reply guaranteed!
> 
> I just hope I didn't fuck it up... ;)

They sat around the kitchen island, while eating. "I bet, this party is gonna be a real deal.", Josh said. They didn't even had to plan something more, everything was organized. Their guests and friends would arrive on Friday, just to stay until Sunday. "Emily will be really pissed off, I guess, because you didn't send her an invitation." - "I guess too. But I don't mind. I mean... she's just bitching around, so why should I invite her? Be honest, you don't wanna have her with us either." Chris didn't answer. It was not because they didn't like Emily, but she always made a fuss about everything. Since Mike broke with her, she was just more annoying. "What are you guys planning again, ha?", Beth said as she entered the kitchen. She leaned on the doorway, folded her arms and was looking at them. "Nothing... what do you mean?", Josh asked, while Beth went over to them, sitting on the chair between the two. "Dunno... just guessing. Any plans for tomorrow?" - "No... not yet.", Josh responsed. "Any suggestions?", he added, but Beth shook his head. "Mum said, somebody of us has to check out the other cabin. Since we've been here last time, there must be a thick film of dust on the furniture. I'm thinking about going there tomorrow. I could get used to a strong hand, what helps me." - "Yeah, maybe I'm coming with you, if there isn't any other thing what's important.", Chris answered and Beth smiled at him. "Too friendly, my brother.", she said. Since the incident between Josh, Chris and Beth he always had a bad feeling, if she was talking to him like this. It always sounded like she knew something, what she could use someday against them.

After she left, Chris' glance at Josh was sceptical, but Josh only shook his head. "I guess, I'll go and let the water into that tub... takes a while, until it's full.", Chris said, after they finished eating. "And I have to unpack some of my stuff too.", he added and Josh just showed him a smile.

About half an hour later the tub was full and Chris put in some bubble bath, to make it more comfortable, before he entered the tub. The heat of the water was so nice, he immediatly relaxed a bit. After he was all the way in, he leaned back, his glasses went foggy, so he put them off, laying them on the margin. He had lit up some candles because full light was too bright for his eyes. It was just enjoyable; the heat of the water, the scent of the bubble bath and the urge to sink into the water, until it reached his lips. He closed his eyes and just enjoyed the silence, before he heard a crack outside the door. He closed that door, even locked it up. So he opened just one eye to asure himself, there was nothing to worry about. After a few seconds he relaxed again, closed his eye and leaned back. He took a deep breath, as the second door on the other side of the bathroom got opened. Goddamn, he already forgot that there were two doors, leading to the bathroom. A moment later he saw Josh, entering the room, closing the door behind him. "What are you doing here? If somebody will caught you, we're screwed!" Josh locked up, before he came over to the tub, busy unbuttoning his shirt. "You didn't believe I wouldnt' join you, while you taking a hot bath, did you?", he said, almost whispering. "What about Hannah? Her room is right beside this goddamn bathroom!", Chris replied, but Josh didn't react. He just took of his shirt, then his trousers and shorts. He entered the water, while Chris sat up, withdrewn himself to the back corner of the tub. "Hey, just calm down, they're all sleeping. Don't you think I would join you, while everybody is still up? Come on Chris..." The surface of the water was almost opaque, so he couldn't see, where Joshs hands were lurking underwater, but he was looking at him, trying to get rid of his excitement. "We just have to be a little quiet and everything will be okay!", Josh whispered. His eyes turned almost brownish in the shine of the candlelight, his tanned skin attracted Chris so easily and his well trained appearance shook off his fear, being watched. He couldn't help it, but he had to brush over Joshs chest with his fingertips, leaving a line of moisture on his skin. He didn't notice, how his lips opened, while biting slightly on his tongue. Underwater he noticed Joshs hands, gliding up his sides and pulling him closer towards him. Josh cocked his head, before he started to kiss Chris, requesting an entrance with his tongue into his mouth. Chris leaned in, laying a hand on Joshs neck, while brushing over his jawbone with his thumb. Everything was so slippery in this bathtub, Josh had no problem to spread Chris' legs, placing himself between them. Chris felt the slight touch of Joshs dick against his, he was already hard, while Chris was still unsure how far to go this time.

Before he could decide, Joshs hand gripped around his dick and started to move slowly up and down. It came all of a sudden for Chris, so he could just sigh at it and shut his eyes. "I'll just go as far as you want to, Cochise...", Josh said with a silent voice. It sounded so raspy, Chris knew he did this on purpose, just to turn him on. He was overwhelmed by Josh's touch, they didn't even kiss, because he was busy breathing, while Josh stroked him further more, switching over to an unsteady rythm. The pressure in Chris' belly became bigger, almost uncomfortable. "Josh...", he murmured, rocking his hips to the unsteady moves of his brother. The splashes of the water made him crazy, sounding almost indecent. "You like that?", Josh whispered, again with this aroused voice, Chris was almost addicted to, but he just let go a restrained sound, before the pressure in his stomach became unbearable. He gasped in need, while Joshs grip tightened, so Chris clenched his teeth, holding up his breath. "Yeah, come for me Chris..." The blondes vision became blur, he saw stars as he came. Josh moved his hand a few times more, until Chris released the last drop, showing a satisfied grin in his face. "I dreamed for so long doing this to you.", Josh whispered, before he kissed Chris again.

The response of Chris came a few moments later. In his mind there was just the feeling of being released, like something he had to bottle up for a long time. Now that the cork had been pulled, he's just free to go. Josh was surprised as Chris pushed him to the other side of the tub by grabbing after his buttcheeks and letting him down on the step which makes it easier to get into the tub. The water reached up to his hips now. "What are you...", Josh said, but Chris was already bending down on him. "You don't have to do this, I..." He just had the time to grab Chris hair, as the blonde leaned down, licking with the tip of his tongue over Joshs dick. "... For... fuck's sake...", he spat out, controling his voice by restraining a moan and biting his lip. As Chris took him in his mouth, his head fell back, unable to look at it, cause that would have been too much for him. Slowly Chris started moving his head, while tighten up the pressure of his lips, licking Josh with his tongue until he got dizzy. The grip from Josh in his hair went stronger, he felt his hips shaking full of arousal, digging himself just deeper into Chris' mouth. With everything what Josh did, Chris got just spurred on. Frankly said he loved everything - Joshs hands in his hair, the smell of his skin, the taste of his precum, the sound of Joshs surpressing noises. As he came, Chris swallowed almost everything Josh released, just leaving a little spot of it on his lower lip. He lifted his head, made eye-contact with Josh, whose laid his hands on Chris's cheekbones and kissed him. The kiss was exhausted, but also thankful in a way. They parted after a while, Josh still glancing at him. "You really didn't have to do that.", Josh said, leaving Chris with a lopsided grin on his face. "Honestly? I loved it...", he had to admit and Josh was surprised. "Really? Didn't think you would enjoy it that much." - "Me neither...", Chris responded.

Fortunately there was a shower head in the bathtub for them to clean up, after the water had been flushed away. Josh was the first, who left the bathroom, just in case somebody was lurking through the lodge. Chris left ten minutes later and went over to his bedroom. Laying alone in his bed made him feel empty, but in his head he remembered the last hours with Josh, looking forward to the things may come.

*****

The next morning Chris woke up, thinking about what happened was just a dream. The taste in his mouth said something different and he grinned for himself, cuddling deeper into his blanket. He would have given almost everything to see Joshs face now. So he stood up, put on some clothes and left his room. Downstairs he heard some noises, somebody seemed to make some breakfast. The smell of fresh bacon, together with some eggs made him hungry. But first he had to wash himself and brush his teeth, getting himself together. As he looked into the mirror, he felt good, which was rarely. Sometimes he even noticed that he avoided to look at himself, but today everything was fine.

After he finished he walked downstairs and entered the kitchen. "Good morning hun, slept well?", Melinda asked, Chris passed her and gave her a peck on the cheek. "Yeah, but I guess you already knew, how you lure me over here to get some breakfast, didn't you?" - "Like always! Just sit down, won't take long anymore." As he was sitting there, watching her cooking he remembered the time he was younger. Sometimes they had been sitting in this kitchen hour after hour, just her and himself for trying some new things. It was like Melinda read his thoughts as she said: "You know, sometimes I've been missing these times with you in this kitchen. You, looking what was going on and me cooking and giving you a bit of everything, just to taste it." - "Yeah... exactly what I was thinking of.", Chris responded, followed by a slight sigh from her. "We should do this again in winter. If it's even too cold outside, having a warm time in the kitchen. What do you think?" After his agreement with Josh to move out with him, he wasn't sure if there was even a future like that. But he didn't want to say anything yet, just to be sure, everything was still okay. "Yeah, we have to do this again.", he said.

A few minutes passed until another person entered the kitchen. It was Josh and he was looking over to Chris with a telling smirk on his face, greeting his mother for the morning and passed Chris' chair from behind, touching his ass out of sight of anybody else. For Chris it felt like he got an electric shock, leading straight between his legs. "Good morning, bro.", he said and Josh placed himself right beside him. "Did you sleep well?", Chris asked and Josh glanced at him, slightly nodding. "Yeah, it was quite relaxing. Feeling all fresh today.", he replied, just smirking.

The breakfast was wonderful. Not only because it tasted good. Sitting here with his brother after what happened that night, he was just content with himself.

*****

A few hours later Chris added a few more layers of clothes, because he wanted to help Beth with cleaning the other cabin. "Ready to go?", he asked her and she nodded. Together they left the lodge, walking silently their way to the cabin. "How was your night, little brother? You seemed pretty exhausted as we arrived yesterday." - "Actually I was. But it's okay." Chris hated such kind of smalltalk. He wasn't really good at it, especially not with his sisters. He prefered the deeper conversations with them, but since Beth had seen him and Josh, there was just this awkward feeling in his head, everytime he was with her.

The cleaning went rather well, they split up, so Chris was busy cleaning the living-room and the kitchen, while Beth took care of the bed- and bathroom. After about half an hour they had been finished. "Seen anything weird, like a rat, wolverine or something?", she asked him and he shook his head. "Nah, everything is okay." He almost thought they could just go back to the lodge without any further questions or conversation. They already stood at the door, as Beth turned around, looking at his brother with a strange glance, saying: "You know, I was thinking about you and my brother since I caught you in his bed, you without your shirt!" Chris stared at her, scared stiff but tried to avoid to do something stupid, so he listened to what she had to say. "I don't know, what you both do and got in mind, but I don't really like it." It seemed, he had to say something about that, because she waited for a response. "Beth, do we really have to talk about that again?" - "Yes, we have! I don't get rid of the feeling, there's something between you and Josh what we should know about." - "There's nothing!" Beth waited for a moment, then she was looking at him with a knowing glance. Chris couldn't lie, he actually never could. He avoided her eye-contact. "I just want to know if there's everything okay with you... and Josh!", Beth said, with a voice, Chris knew he could trust. Should he really talk about their relationship with Beth, or should he cook-up a story again?

"Chris... please!", she said and that was the final point, why Chris let out a sigh and decided to explain everything to Beth. "Close the door... This is going to be a long explanation.", he said and went over to the couch. Beth took place beside him, looking at him and waited. "You know...", he started: "This thing is even surprising for me as it is for you. So please, just keep an open mind if I tell you everything, okay?" His sisters look changed, now that he was frankly with her. "Josh and I... I don't really know how to say that, but... I guess we have some kinda love affair." Beth lifted her eyebrows, opened her mouth, but Chris signalised her with the palm of his hand to stop. "Just let me explain. If I'm finished, you can say whatever you want, okay?" She nodded. "Okay... Because it's really serious." He told her everything, from this first confession of Josh, over their night where they first kissed, up to the moment where Beth found them in Joshs bed. "And that's the whole story?", Beth asked, but Chris shook his head. "After that, I just wanted to end this, because I wasn't sure about it. I just didn't want to ruin everything, you know? I love my family and I'm happy to have all of you and it wasn't easy to decide, what to do. Exactly we're both having a big struggle with our relationship. On one side, he is my brother, on the flipside he isn't. And that doesn't make things easier." - "Chris, don't mind, if I'm asking, but... Is your love real? Do you know, Joshs love is real?" Chris was confused about her question. "Why do you ask?" - "Because I know Josh. His ideas are really stupid sometimes and then he plans something without any concept. He just wants to do it. And I'm asking you for your love for him, because I can imagine, you would lean in, if somebody is just talking to you long enough about it." Chris lifted one of his eyebrows. "You didn't say that, do you?", he replied, but then he understood, what Beth meant. "I just hope, if this is real, you're both honest to each other." Chris took a deep breath, before he answered: "First I was confused and this is actually a question I asked myself and I had to admit, that I love Josh... with every single flaw of him and with all of his stupid ideas. He's a douchbag sometimes, but I love him more than anybody else. And you know... If I wouldn't love him, I think I didn't feel these emotions while kissing him. We didn't kiss like brother and brother. You know what I'm saying?" Beth agreed, she understood exactly what her brother said. "And about Josh: Why would he make such an effort with me, if he doesn't love me dearly? For three years?" - "Three years?", Beths voice sounded surprised and Chris nodded.

"What are your plans now?", Beth asked and Chris shrugged his shoulders. "We'll see. There is no real plan, we just suggest to move into an apartment near college. Just to be for ourselves. We don't want to bother our family with our issues and we think that it would be the best option for all of us. But there are just plans, nothing serious yet." - "Okay." - "Just please, promise me something.", Chris added. "What?", Beth replied. "Don't tell mother, Hannah or dad anything about what I told you. I don't want to lose this family and so is Josh. We'll find a way to get everything managed, but this isn't just the right time for it, okay? Please, leave this to us." Beth waited for a moment before she answered. "I promise." - "Thank you!", Chris responsed. "You know what?", Beth said. "What?" - "Thank you for your confidence." Chris smiled and Beth pulled him into a hug. Before she let go off, she was looking at him: "Honestly... Did you already had sex?" Chris moaned and looked away. "I don't know why this is important, but if it's easing off your mind - No, we haven't!", he justified himself, but Beth just laughed.

"You know, I missed our stupid conversations. You're hanging out with Josh too much lately!", Beth complained about on their way back to the lodge. "I guess this is something you have to deal with, little sister!", he answered, just relieved he could talk to somebody about his problems. Because it was his sister, he was just more relieved.


	9. Preparations and Questions

It was already late as Chris helped his mother in the kitchen, preparing a few things for the other day. The girls decorated the living-room with some swag, frippery and more. Mike and Jess would arrive first, then Sam with Matt and Ashley, two hours later. Everything should be okay and Josh planed to give them a warmth welcome at the cable-car. After another hour they finished their work, preparing some drinks in a big bowl. Josh suggested to mix them with sparkling wine, but Melinda didn't like the idea: "You're too young to drink, boys. This isn't really good for you!" - "Did you know, you're a damn party pooper, mom!", Josh retorted, but whispered to Chris later, that he instructed Mike to bring some for the party. As good as their own mixed drinks were, with some booze everything was better.

"What are you doing, bro?", Chris heard a voice, coming from the direction of his bedroom door and he looked up. Josh entered the room, went over to him and tossed himself on Chris' bed. "Better question: What are _you_ doing here?", he asked with a smirk, leaning down to Josh to give him a kiss. "I need my goodnight kiss... or else...", turning his voice from normal to kinda lickerish. Chris smirked: "You're a naughty and greedy little bastard, aren't you?", he whispered and felt Josh fumbling at his shirt, trying to pull it up, but Chris stopped him. "Na-ah... not tonight!" - "Why not?" - "Because we have to talk!", he said, still bending over his brother. "Talk, talk... always talk... Would you please give me a fuck first?", he replied with an almost begging voice. Chris snorted, leaning himself back to the wall, looking down to Josh. "I just wanted to tell you: Beth knows everything!" Within the next two seconds Josh sat up, looking straight to Chris with a shocked expression. "What?!?" Chris smiled. "No worries. Everything is okay!" - "You tell me, my sister knows everything and it's ... okay?!?" He shrugged his shoulders, waiting for an explanation. "As we cleaned up the guest cabin today, she wanted to know what's going on. She didn't let me go and she suspected it too." Josh lifted his eyebrows. "What did you tell her?" - "I told her almost everything. That we're in a relationship, how it started and... what we're planing." - "Are you completely out of your mind?" - "No, of course not! I made her promise not to tell anybody." - "And you believe her?" - "Yes, I do! She's our sister and by the way - She is happy for us. She's just hoping everything of this is real." Joshs expression changed. "What did she mean?" - "She hopes your love for me is real and mine for you! Believe it, she didn't mean it in a bad way." Josh wasn't sure how to react. "She really is okay with it." - "I just hope you're right.", Josh responsed and laid his head onto Chris' lab. "You really shocked me with this!" Chris laughed, brushing through Joshs hair. "You know, it was hard for me, not to talk with anyone about it. She already suspected it and I thought... Fuck it, why not? Everything will be okay, you'll see." After a moment of silence, Josh turned his head so he could see Chris in his eyes. "What else did she ask?", he wanted to know, but Chris just smirked. "Nothing important... She just asked me if we already had sex." Josh widened his eyes. "And?" - "Nothing! I told her we hadn't and it was okay for her." Josh shook his head. "I didn't know my sister is that protective." - "I wouldn't say protective, it sounded rather nosey." Now Josh started to laugh. "No, I don't want to go deeper with this thought." Chris just smiled. "And I would suggest, you're going to bed now. I need my sleep for tomorrow, because this will be really hard, if I didn't sleep enough before.", Chris said. "I'll tell you, what's really hard, if you let me!", Josh retorted, biting on his tongue smiling a bright grin. "You're such a douche sometimes!"

The other day Chris woke up and everything was utter confusion. Everybody was stressed, even him because he overslept and woke up an hour until the first guests would arrive. "You doesn't have to come with me. I'm okay by myself!", Josh suggested, because Chris wanted to join him, welcoming the guests. "No... just let me get myself managed, I just need half an hour!" A shower, brushing his teeth and a change later he was ready. "Enough layers?", Josh teased him. "Just lets go, I'll lose my last nerve if we don't go." The way to the cable car wasn't that long, but it was enough time to faffing around. "What we're gonna do the whole time? Any ideas?" - "You mean with us?", Chris replied. "Yeah... I don't know if I can stand three days without you or without even touching you." Chris smirked: "I bet, if you do, I can't help myself if they're gone." Josh laughed, but Chris turned honest again. "I guess we just have to behave ourselves a bit. I'm not against a dance or two, but I think it's better they don't know about us." Josh could handle that and was okay with it.

"Hey buddy, you're okay?", Mike said, giving Josh a big hug. "Glad you could make it." - "Everytime! Hey big fella, let me give you a hug!" Frankly said, Mike was one of those guys who's always after some girls, but if he's buddy with you, you can just count on him. Josh greeted Jess with a short kiss on the cheek. "You're looking good, girl!", he said, Chris thought he wasn't always that flattering. "Any plans for today though?", Mike asked, but Chris shook his head. "We just wanna wait until the others arrive. I guess this will be in another hour." - "Yeah, so what we're gonna do with our time?", Mike replied. "My father installed a shooting-range, right behind the station. Wanna use a real gun, Mike?", Josh asked him, smirking. "Bet'cha!" Josh gave him a slight bump on his shoulder, walking over to the range, he had spoken of. Chris looked over to Jess. "It's cold up here, isn't it?", she said. "Yeah... quite colder than at home." - "I wish Joshs dad had built that cabin somewhere in the Hamptons or else warmer." - "Sometimes that would be quite nice!", Chris responsed and they heard the first shot and Mikes howl of success. "Why are you guys always so nerdy if it comes to guns?", Jess asked. "You're asking the wrong person!", Chris replied, quite smiling.

Some shooten bottles and cans later, they heard Matts voice, calling: "Is that a real gun?" - "Boys...", Jess mumbled. "Hi Chris!", Matt said, walking straight over to Mike and Josh. Sam and Ashley were just a few steps away from Matt. "Hey guys!", Sam said and gave Chris a warm hug: "Josh messaged me, they would try out the shooting-range. Are you okay?" - "Yeah, thanks Sam. Hi Ash!", he replied, while Ashley gave him a hug too, together with a little peck on the cheek. "How was your ride?", he wanted to know. "Thank god, Josh told me to tell the driver he should stop here. Otherwise he would have passed this station." - "It's nice to have you here now.", Chris added, looking over to his brother: "Josh! You're ready to leave?" - "Just another shot, bro!" - "I'll never understand why everybody is so goopy over guns!", Sam said. For Chris it was a lot to handle. The girls, now speaking to each other, the boys on the shooting-range, but he didn't want to join them, so he went over to the station, making everything ready for them to leave. "Hey Chris!", he heard Ashs voice behind him. "Hey... everything okay?", he asked, just without even looking at her. "Yeah. I was really looking forward to this weekend with all of you.", she said. "That's nice. I'm happy you all could join us.", he answered, while managing the control panel for the cable car and finished it. He went back to the door but stopped as he arrived Ashley. They got to know each other at High School and met once a while in the afternoons. Ashley was always a good friend of Chris, but none of them, he would tell everything. Since they went to College, their ways were parted, mostly because they had different courses, so they didn't share much time anymore. Ashley leaned against the door frame, standing right in Chris' way. "So... what you're doing beside college now?", she asked him. "Doing... stuff. I dunno, mostly I'm sitting at the computer, try to program some stuff or else. It's pretty hectic, you know?" The flair was awkward. He didn't know where it came from, but he wasn't feeling good in this situation. "Hey fellas, get into the cable-car, if you wanna join us!", Josh called them and Chris was kinda relieved to end this situation, but didn't know why. He closed the door of the station, locked it and walked over to the cable-car.

After they arrived, they spoke to Melinda, whose close before leaving. Packed the most important things into a bag, she stood right in front of the lodge. "Hello Mrs. Washington!", Sam greeted her, the others followed. "Hey Sam." Then she turned to Josh and Chris. "I'm leaving boys. Don't mess around, no alcohol and please, don't burn down the lodge!" - "Sure mom!", Josh said and gave her peck on the cheek. "I'm coming back on Sunday afternoon. I've got my phone on maximum sound, if there's something you wanna talk with me about, okay?" Chris and Josh nodded, giving Melinda a last hug and she left with the cable-car. Josh and Chris looked at each other as she waved a last time. "We're gonna have a lot of fun, I guess.", Josh said with a bright smirk in his face. "It's good I'm more adult than you, little brother!", Chris retorted and they joined the others in the lodge. Mike sat in front of the mediaplayer in the living room, turning on some music. They started with sitting on the couch, just having a conversation, while drinking some coke, eating snacks and laughing. Chris sat between Ashley and Josh, noticing the slight touches of Ashs tights at his, but he didn't react to any of her signs. He asked himself, what was going on and left them to get some more to drink. "Any special wishes, guys?" Nobody responded. At the kitchen he took a few more bottles of coke to bring them over to the living room.

A little later Mike started to go deeper into the conversation: "So Josh... still single?" Josh nodded. "Yeah, why do you wanna know?" - "Just _because_. Now that you're almost 19 years old, you should collect a few nodges on your belt, don't you think?" The girls started to giggle, but Josh just shook his head: "I'm not like you Mikeyboy... I'm not that kinda guy, you know?" - "But be honest, you would love to have a girl, you could make a few snowangels with, wouldn't you?" Josh just grinned, what was answer enough for Mike to mock him. Chris glanced over to him, receiving just a smirk. "Do _you_ have a girlfriend, already?", Ashley asked Chris and he looked at her. "No, I haven't. Why do you ask?" - "Not even a crush?" Chris lifted his eyebrows. "Maybe... Why is this so important to you?", he replied, but Ashleys just grinned, her cheeks slightly blushed. "Just asking!", she said.

Everybody had a good time. The party was set for tomorrow and the evening had just started. Chris was feeling good and content. Sometimes he noticed a little glance from Josh, smiled back and that was enough for him - For now.

In the flow of the evening Josh and Chris met each other at the kitchen island, looking over to the living room, where Jess leaned at Mike, laughing and flirting with him, Beth and Hannah were speaking with Sam and Ashley talked to Matt. "Everybody has a good time, I guess.", Chris said, feeling Joshs waist leaning at his. "Yeah, seems so." Chris took another sip of his coke, before he looked over to Josh, whispering so nobody heard him: "I would love to kiss you to the ground! Right now!" Josh smiled, giving him a slight kick with his hip. "I don't wanna imagine what happens if there's more booze in the game tomorrow.", Chris said. "Let's see, maybe there's a surprise waiting for us." - "Yeah, maybe.", Josh replied. "Hey guys.", Beth appeared at the other side of the kitchen island. "Ashley is giving you a hard time, isn't she?", she said to Chris. "Is she?" Chris wasn't sure what to say. "She's talking about you the whole time to Matt. I thought I should better tell you about it, so you can prepare yourself." The blonde lowered his sight. "But you don't want to tell me, she's got a crush on me, do you?", he responded. "Sadly... it seems so." Chris rolled his eyes. "Why did I already figured it?" Josh laid his hand on Chris shoulder. "Something I really don't need right now.", Chris said. "Just don't give her a too hard time, Chris. Think about it - She'll be gone on sunday again." - "Yeah, until then, I should lock up my bedroom door, don't you think?" Josh started laughing. "Maybe we could give her an explicit view then, if I pay you a visit.", he suggested, responded with a shocked glance by his brother. "Just tell her, you have no interest. I think that should be enough.", Beth told him and he nodded. "That's sounding more like me!", he replied. "Otherwise, you can count on me, if you wanna taste how my idea works out!", Josh just added.


	10. Birthday Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll tell you I struggled with this chapter and I'm happy that it's done. :)
> 
> Have fun! :)
> 
> Tenth chapter... didn't suggest this fic would be that long.

After giving everyone a room to sleep, the siblings went to their own sleepingroom. What happened that day was still running in Chris' head. Could it be Ashley had a serious crush on him? The prepared himself by locking his door, so she couldn't enter, if she had something like this in mind. The other thing was, her room was on the same floor as his. A part in his mind imagined, she could stay the whole night in front of his door, begging him to open. He was getting the creeps. And this was a thing he didn't figure until yet. Ashley was a girl he liked a few years ago, he wasn't aware of his own sexuality. Now he realized the thought of having a relationship with a girl was something he couldn't handle in a right way. He was asking himself, if the decission, being pansexuell was even right. But whatever, that wasn't a real deal, because he was together with Josh, nothing else made him happier. Over his thoughts he felt asleep, dreaming weird things.

As he woke up and went downstairs, he saw his sisters, managing a breaktfast for the whole group. "Mornin' sleepyhead.", Hannah said as he stood by the table, still with his hair unbrushed. "You're gorgeous girls. This smells so good!", he said, running with his fingers through his hair. Beth came over to him, placing one arm around his chest, giving him a short peck on his temple, saying: "Slept well? Remember, it's Joshs birthday." - "Yeah... I know...", he said. He didn't have a present for his brother, but since Josh gave him this confession to love him at his own birthday, he didn't know what was enough to make up with it. But he was hoping to get an idea within the day. "Do you have a present for him?" he asked his sisters and they nodded. "Yeah, but it's plain simple. Nothing really big. He just said he didn't want something, but we couldn't come up with nothing.", Beth said. "We bought a coupon together... You know how he is.", Hannah added. Josh was one of those, who was very picky with his things. So their taste for the present was just right, Josh could decide by himself, what to by with the coupon. "Yeah, good idea." - "Do you have anything for him?", they asked him and Chris shook his head. "No, but I have something in mind, what's good enough." - He hadn't, but he couldn't confess this to his sisters. Maybe a date together was nice, having dinner, watching a movie. He would figure something out together with Josh. This was quite a good idea, he thought. "Would you wake up Josh because of the breakfast? I'm sure the others will be awake soon.", Beth said, looking at Chris, winking. He understood the message she's sending, so he nodded. "Sure!"

It was still dark in Joshs room. Just a slight shine of light made it a little easier to orient oneself and Chris closed the door behind him, locking it, just to make sure nobody would disturb them. Sneaking silently over to Joshs bed, Chris hoped, his plan wouldn't fail. Seeing Josh still laying in his bed mad him curious, in his mind emerged the thought to surprise him with another action to wake him up. Josh always slept just in his boxers, sometimes combined with a shirt. This night he just wore his pants and Chris caught himself licking over his lips, thinking about how to deal with the blanket. But a moment later, Josh made it just easier by turning himself in the bed, the blanket just placed over his belly. He laid in a perfect position for Chris. After taking off his glasses, he climbed on the bed, placing himself between Joshs legs and leaned over him, laying his hands beside Joshs chest. His breath brushed over Joshs skin, gliding with the tip of his tongue over his bare chest. He heard Joshs moan, still half asleep. "What are you doing there?", he murmured with a raspy voice, but Chris just went deeper, leaving slight sucking kisses on Joshs stomach. After twitching the hair of his happy trail with his lips, Chris noticed that Josh was bucking his hips. It was just flimsy but heavy enough. "You like that?", Chris whispered and got a deep sounded breath from Josh as an answer. Chris just teased Josh until yet, but while gliding with a hand over his pants, he could feel Josh was already hard. He grasped around the bulge, bending up to Joshs neck: "Is this just your morning-glory, or are you that overjoyed to see me?", he mocked him, giving his hand a gentle pressure. Josh responded by letting out a shivering moan. "I wish you would just fuck me... right now!", he mumbled, grabbing for Chris hair. "I'm just here for the wake-up service, not for fucking you, Sir.", Chris teased him, grinning brightly over his face. "I hate you... so much!", Josh lamented, still jittering against Chris grip. "I would love to give you a full torture, but because it's your birthday, I'll behave myself!", Chris murmured, retorted by Josh with an annoyed: "Oh, go fuck yourself!" Chris laughed, kissing Josh on his neck, taking his hand off of Josh's pants. His brother opened his eyes, looking at him. "Happy birthday, bro!", Chris said and gave him a kiss on his mouth. After they parted, Josh was smiling. "I never got a wake-up call which was that good and bad at the same time." Both laughed and Chris gave him another kiss. "Beth said, I should go and wake you up for breakfast." - "It seems I have to get up then and get some clothes on." His fingers ran through Chris' hair. "Thanks Cochise.", he whispered, reaching up for Chris to kiss him again.

Everybody wished Josh just the best for his birthday and everyone brought up a little present. He got the coupon from his sisters, another one from Mike, but for his smartphone, plus a set of different shot glasses. "These are great! Thanks!" From Jess he got some documentary DVDs, together with chocolate. Matt brought up another DVD collection, centered on movies with Clint Eastwood. "You're really lucky, I didn't have these yet!" - "Thanks to your sisters. They helped me.", Matt said. "Thank you very much!" - The present from Sam was packed in a little box. "Just be a bit carefull, if you unpack it.", she warned Josh and he lifted his eyebrows. "You didn't buy me something that expensive, did you?" - "No, you can call it luck, if you want." She smiled all over her face, while he took of the paper. "This is impossible! Are you mad?", Josh said as he slowly opened the box. Chris could tell what it was, because Josh didn't speak of anything else a few months ago, but he didn't get the auction he saw at the internet. "You know what that is, right?", he said to Sam, whose nodded. "Rolleiflex, made in Germany, between 1939 up to 1945, type K4B. I did know what I was buying as I saw it." Josh was staring at her, full of admiration. "It just has a flaw. It's... not working. I took it to a specialist, but he said, there is something damaged inside what he can't repair. But it's still a nice subject for display and someone who likes film and photography.", she added. "I... I don't know what to say, Sam. I'm absolutely overwhelmed. This is unbelievable.", Josh said, but Sam was content, seeing him absolutely overjoyed. In Ashleys box was, what had been there for the last three years at his birthday. "I'm always wondering about where you still get them.", Josh said, unpacking the roles for a Polaroid-Camera. Within the last years it was hard to get these, but somehow Ashley had the ability to find some more. "It's okay.", she said. "Thank you very much!" Then it was up to Chris to give him his present. "My present is just another coupon. I wanted to take you to the city somehow. Just a 'bro-thing'. Doing whatever you want!" - "Couldn't be better. I like the idea!", Josh answered as Chris said what he had in mind. "So, what are we gonna do now?", Mike asked, because they finished breakfast. "I didn't plan something in particular, but if you have some ideas or suggestions, go for it!", Josh replied. "Spin-the-bottle!", Jess suggested with a big smile in her face. "Yeah, but that's something for later.", Sam said.

They decided to prepare the drinks for the evening. As predicted, Mike brought some bottles of alcohol with him. "Is that all you have?", Josh asked, a bottle of Vodka, Irish Coffee Cream and a sixpack of Budweiser in front of him. "It's everything I could hide in my bag, you know?", Mike answered. "Last year, you did a better job. But... okay. Let's see. I guess we can put half of the vodka into the bowl and see if that is enough and what else, we'll see." After they added the vodka to the bowl, Chris and his mother had prepared for this evening, the drink was so much better. "Yeah, this is giving me the creeps!", Josh said after tasting the cocktail. "Perfect!" Now the party could really get started. In the meantime Beth and Hannah got the food from the caterer, bringing it up to the lodge with the cable-car.

Everything was perfect and the group had a lot of fun. First they played some games, listening to music and talked about the last years. As time arrived they started to eat. The food was just delicious and it was the right decision to get it from a catering-service. Chris and Josh sat together on the couch while eating. "The drinks will be the bomb, you'll see!", Josh said. "I just hope, you didn't add too much vodka. You know, how I'll freak out if there's too much in it." - "Awwww, you poor baby!", Josh retorted, grinning at his boyfriend. "Here, taste this cheese. It's really good!" Josh reached after Chris' mouth. As he tasted it, Sam sat down near them on the couch. "Hey boys. Since when do you feed him, Josh?", she asked and Josh started to laugh. "Since there's this gorgeous cheese he has to try!" - "The food is really good, that's true.", Sam added. Chris swallowed the cheese and nodded. "I'm not that cheese-type, but this one was quite nice." - "Here, have another one!", Josh replied and tried to stick another piece of it into his mouth. "Stop it, I'm almost full!" Josh grinned and took a bite for himself. "What about a grape?", he asked and Chris lifted his eyebrows. "I can eat by myself. Thank you very much!", he replied. They just laughed about it and Chris was happy to see his brother in a good mood.

After they started to drink out from that bowl, things got more and more dizzy. First Jess started laughing about things, which weren't funny at all, soon after that, Ashley started to molest Chris by touching him while passing behind him or else. What nobody knew - Mike put the whole bottle of vodka into the bowl, so the drinks were stronger as it was supposed to be. Things went out of control as they started to spin the bottle. "When was the last fuck you had?", Mike asked Jess and she was just giggling. "Why?", she asked and Mike leaned over to her, kissed her on the mouth, while the others laughed. Chris already felt all fuzzy in his head, he was just hopeing not to get in any wrong situation. But sooner or later the bottle stopped at his place and it was Ashleys choice what he had to do. "Truth or dare?", she asked. "Truth... I guess!", he replied. "Is there anyone in this room, you like more than just a friend?", she asked and Chris didn't have to think about it that long. "Yes, there is!", he answered and touched the bottle. "Wohooooo, Chris you've got a crush and nobody knows? When did you find out you're a guy with needs?", Mike mocked him and Chris was just blushing and stuttered: "I don't tell anybody about such things, you know!" - "Who is it?", Mike wanted to know, but Chris narrowed his eyes. Before he could say anything weird, Beth gave him a slight bump on his shoulder. "Spin the bottle, come on!" So he spinned, leaving Mikes question unanswered. As it was Joshs turn, he got Mike. And Mike picked 'Dare'. "Did you ever kissed a boy?", Josh asked, but Mikes answer came quite unprepared by reaching out for Josh with his hand, pulling him into a deep kiss. Hannah was shocked, Jess and Sam cheered for them and Ashley, so as Matt were just laughing. Chris instead was that shocked, he couldn't feel joy nor jelousy. He was just staring at them with widened eyes, while Beth laid her hand on his shoulder. "It's just a game...", she whispered, but Chris didn't know how to react. As they parted, Josh was as surprised as his brother. "That wasn't necessary, Mike!", he said, but with a little smile on his face. "You asked, I delivered. So what's the problem?", Mike retorted. The game came to the point, it was too much for Chris. He stood up. "Sorry guys, I have to eat something if I want to get my head clear!", he excused himself and went into the kitchen.

The alcohol had absolutely blown up his mind. There was just one way out of there: Eat something! Even if the food was cold, Chris took a whole plate full of it and started to eat. It didn't take long and Ashley joined him in the kitchen. "Hey Chris.", she said and in his inner self, Chris rolled his eyes. "Everything okay?", she asked and Chris nodded. "Everything is fine. I'm just fuzzy in my head and... I need something to eat. I don't know what they've done with the drinks." Ashley was standing beside him, sticking a grape into her mouth. Chris looked at her, it was quite sexy, how the grape disappeared between her lips... He didn't realize he was staring at her. Chris took another bite and cocked his head because it just felt heavy. Like he was getting a headache. "Is it Sam?", she asked him and he didn't know what she meant. "Wha... what do you mean?" He wasn't sure what else to answer, but before he could even react, Ashley laid a hand at his neck, reaching for his mouth to kiss him. "Whoo, whoo... slow down, will ya?", Chris widened his eyes, grabbing at her wrist. "What are you doing, Ash?", he asked silently. "I thought, it was me!" - "What the hell are you talking about?" - "The question before. You said there's somebody in the room, you're having a crush on." Now he realized, why she was acting like this the whole evening. "Ash, I...", he started, slowly getting a clear mind because of the food. "Ash, I like you... but not like this. You're a good friend of mine and I appreciate what you're feeling for me, but..." She nodded. "I already thought so.", she answered. "It's not that I don't like you.", Chris added. "It's okay Chris.", she replied. "I just hope you'll get happy with whoever you're in love with." - "Thanks." If she only knew.

But he didn't know this wasn't the last thing this evening he had to deal with...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok... what's your guess what happens next? :P
> 
> Appreciating every comment! ;)


	11. An unpredictable night

A short time later Josh joined them in the kitchen and Ashley left. "Hey bro, how's it going?" - "Good!", Chris replied, just to answer his question. He didn't know what to think about this thing with Mike, but as Beth said, it was just a game. "Why did you kiss Mike?", he asked, even before he could think about it. Josh lowered his eyebrows. "I didn't kiss him, he kissed me!" - "Yeah, so why do you ask him such questions?" - "Oh come on Chris, it was just a game!" The blonde didn't react, instead he stuffed some meat in his mouth. "Don't be angry at me. I don't wanna have him as a boyfriend, even if I could!", Josh assured him, searching for some eye-contact. Chris took a deep breath. "This was no fun to watch, seriously Josh." - "Cochise... I just love you, nobody else..." - "Ok, if you say so..." - "You'll see, if we're alone, how big my love is for you." Now Chris started with a little smile, looking over to Josh.

It was already late as Chris decided to go to bed and it was long after the first couple disappeared into their rooms. Beth could convince each of them going alone into their own sleeping room, while Sam just left the group because she was definitly too tired. Chris, who was almost clear in his head waited until Hannah and Beth went to bed, but Beth took Josh by the collar of his shirt and leaded him to his own room, instead of staying on the couch in the living room. It seemed he was absolutely tired and not able to leave the room.

Chris fell already into a doze as he heard a noise near him. He locked up the door, just for being sure nobody would stumble into his room while he was sleeping. As he looked up there was a silhouette right near his bed and he was shocked for the first moment, until he realized, it was Josh. "Josh, what are you doing here? How did you...?", but his brother tossed himself onto Chris' bed, leaning over him, just to give him a deep kiss. "I told you there are things about this house, you don't know...", he stuttered, his voice sloppy and tired. Josh kissed him at the crook of his neck, while Chris tried to avoid further contact with him. "Josh... don't... please..." He smelled Josh's breath with the scent of alcohol as he kissed him again. He was panting heavy, while he pulled Chris' blanket beside, grabbing after his shirt. "Josh... What the hell... We can't..." The fabric ripped under Joshs hands, setting free Chris' pale skin. "This is not happening...", he said, completely confused. Josh held him down to the bed with a gentle push of his hand, while licking over his bare chest. Chris couldn't help it, he moaned, because everything what Josh did felt so good. "Don't... please...", he tried a last time. 

This really wasn't what he imagined for his first time, especially with Josh, but as it seemed, Josh was unstoppable. Every touch of him was hasty, slightly regardless and Chris didn't know how to handle it. On one side he wanted him so bad, but on the flipside he didn't feel good. Within his arousal, Josh bit Chris' lip as he kissed him, pulling down his shorts with an impatient move. Chris noticed Josh was wiggling out of his own pants and realized, his stomach was jittering. This was all so wrong... Josh kissed him, touched him at his dick and he couldn't hold on himself as he curled up his toes. Chris just gave in, as Josh laid his legs upon his shoulders, leaning over him. "Please... be... be carefull...", he begged him, holding on his sides as he felt the tip of Joshs dick on his entrance. His jaws were shivering, he felt his heart beating up to his throat, as Josh gave his hips a light push. First it just felt uncomfortable, but then it started to feel tearing. Chris couldn't bear it as Josh slided deeper into him, whailing: "Josh... please... it... it h-hurts... Aahhh..." He had his eyes shut and Josh stopped immediatly, started to kiss Chris on his lips, gently and caring. He kissed his lips, his cheeks, his nosetip and temples, while Chris was still dealing with these unpleasant emotions. Just slowly he could calm himself down, panting while Josh was still moving deeper into him. Josh stopped again, leaning his forehead on Chris', breathing with an opened mouth. In the shine of the moonlight, Chris saw his widened eyes, glancing at him. "I love you Chris...", he whispered, touching Chris' nose with his own, as the blonde bucked his hips, right up to his brother. 

Within the following moments Josh tried to be carefull but didn't always succeed. Chris moaned under his first controled, later unsteady moves, noticing a tear running down his temple because it was too much for him. As Josh changed his angle, he teased a point inside Chris, he just wanted to come, the urge was unbearable and he pressed his head into the pillow, making a sound mixed out of begging, passion and quivering. In his mind he got more and more dizzy, he clenched his teeth and everything in his lower extremities felt numb. With a few last thrusts from Josh Chris couldn't take it any longer. He reached his climax unwillingly and Josh followed him by moaning into the crook of Chris' neck, gliding one last time deep into him with twitching hips to release his last bit of arousal.

The feeling of exploding stars in front of his eyes went on for the next moments, Chris view wasn't clear at all. "Oh my god..." As soon as the flow of his orgasm abated, the feeling of pain increased. He felt every little inch Josh moved and it started to burn, because his brother hadn't been very cautious with him. Chris couldn't withstand Joshs presence, still being inside him. "Please get... get... aaahhh..." Chris squinted his eyes as Josh tried to pull himself out of him, reacting just with another cry of pain. Josh was as exhausted as Chris, but this seriously was a problem. "Just... get out of me, please!", he whailed, but Josh wanted to be careful, so he slowly pulled himself out of him, while Chris let out a hissing sound. Both of them were too tired to speak, they couldn't even barely open their eyes. Chris was just glad it was over. The mess didn't matter, even the fact both of them just wore their shirts - or for Chris what remained of it. "I'm so sorry, Cochise...", Josh said, but he couldn't even give him an answer, because within the next moment he fell into a doze.

As he woke up the other morning, Chris was alone. He didn't even had to turn around, he just knew Josh left him. First he wanted to pull his blanket tighter, then he noticed the dirty feeling which spread all over his legs and lower region. Until he didn't move, everything was okay, but just one twitch and it was like a knife ran through his bottom. After he realized what have happened last night, he curled up into a fetal position, embracing his knees in front of him. He didn't know how to think about that. Josh was drunk, he came over to him and just took what he wanted. Even if he curled up his toes, he could feel the mess they did. It was so disgusting but he couldn't get up now. Within the next moment his body was overwhelmed by shivering, he noticed his nails grabbed into his arms, leaving a few marks. It wasn't what he wanted to be for his first time. How could he confront Josh this morning, just acting like nothing had happened? What did he even think about it? Or was it just his psyche which played a really bad prank on him? But he had to do something, right now, before this feeling could overcome him completely. 

So Chris stood up, took away the blanket from the bed, pulling off the covers and sheets, ignoring the whole mess on the bedsheet and threw it into a corner of his bedroom. Just out of his sight. After that he searched for some underwear and clothing, covering himself with a bathing gown. As he went to the door, he listened if there was somebody outside, but it wasn't, so he sneaked over to the bathroom, completely unseen. It seemed nobody was actually awake and he was glad about it. He locked up the door, turned on the shower. First he just stood below the shower head so the water could reach every piece of his body. After an extended wash he almost felt better. He left the bathroom half an hour later, looking around because he didn't want to see anyone. In his room again, he started to refresh the bed and opened the windows. The smell in his room was kinda disgusting.

While he breathed the fresh morning air at the window, he thought about what happened. He had to talk to Josh, he knew that. And gladly he was at a state, he could think more and more clear about it. Even if his ass was sore like hell, he couldn't imagine that Josh would have hurt him that bad on purpose. He just didn't like the idea, why he tackled him this forcefully. But he would wait until their guests had left, maybe until his sisters and mother weren't at the lodge anymore.

*****

Downstairs he wasn't the only one anymore. On the floor he already heard the sounds of the working coffee machine in the kitchen. It was Beth, who was busy with clearing up the plates, sticking them into the dishwasher. As she turned around, she smiled at Chris. "Hey, are you alright? You look kinda woosie." She cared about him and he felt kinda happy about it. "I dunno. I must have been sitting in a wrong position, my back is aching.", he answered. "Then why you still standing. Sit down, I'll get you a coffee in less than five minutes." - "Thanks, but my ... tailbone is fucked up as well." Weasel words over weasel words... "Oh...", was the only thing she replied. 

After Beth cleared up the kitchen island, she was looking over to him. "I know that expression, Chris... is there anything you wanna talk about?" He acted as if everything was okay and he hoped she would just leave it. "No, everything is fine. It's just... this fucking ache..." She came over to him, laying her hand on his shoulder and for a short moment he had the urge to avoid it. "Josh was really drunk yesterday.", she said. "Yeah... he was.", Chris added, still holding up to his acting. But he noticed, Beth wasn't buying it, but he didn't want to talk about that with her. "I just hope it's not because of his kiss with Mike." - "What? No... This was just a dumb joke. I know it wasn't serious." She was looking at him with this specific kind of gaze, he couldn't hold up to his mask any longer. "Why do you have to stare at me like that and always in the wrong situation?", he asked, glancing softly at her. "Cause I'm your sister. And... I must admit, sleeping above a room where somebody is whining like a crying child isn't that easy. Even if he's trying to be silent." Chris immediatly broke his eye-contact to her. He noticed a slight pressure at his shoulder. "It isn't your tailbone, what's aching, right?" By the tone of her voice, Chris knew he could trust her. He just shook his head. "What I don't understand is... usually people are happy if that happens, but it doesn't seem so with you." He licked over his lips, before he said anything. "It... it just wasn't the right time. He was drunk and I wasn't prepared for it. That's all." - "Maybe you should use some lube next time, speaking of preparation." Chris narrowed his eyes, looking at his sister. "Don't say that. Of course, I know how things work, but..." He shook his head again. "It just wasn't as I expected." - "It never is, Chris.", she replied. "But usually it gets better with time." Chris wondered about why she said something like that. "You speak like you already have a good know-how." - "I don't. But it's written down in every magazine and such. You should read more of them." Chris took a deep breath. "What if I'll get you a coffee and later, if you have the time, come over to my room?" He gave her an asking expression and she whispered: "I've got a pretty good ointment you can use on your problem." She smirked at him and he gave her a lopsided grin. "Ooookay... and thanks for the coffee.", he said. Beth laughed and went over to the coffee machine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just hope I didn't fuck it up... ;) Don't worry... It's getting better I think. ;)
> 
> Comments are appreciatedand will be replied. As always!


	12. A little present to make amends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear god... beside these wonderful conversations with Larniishu I got my first question about this ff on my tumblr account. This is so motivating guys, I just love it! :) - This is exactly why I'm always saying, your comments are welcome and will be replied. I just love it to get feedback from others.
> 
> So don't be hesitate if anyone of you has something to say or anything else... ;)
> 
> Now have fun with the new chapter. It's a bit longer than the last chapters.

Chris sat down at the table as Josh joined his siblings. "Morning... Isn't anyone awake yet beside you two?", he said, looking over to Beth. Chris clenched his teeth because of his behaviour, acting like nothing even happened. "No, it isn't? Coffee?", Beth asked, but Josh went over to the machine and got some for himself. "Thanks, it's okay." Chris was looking down to his cup first, as Josh opened the cupboard to get some pills out of a metalbox, which was always placed in there. As he didn't look, Chris lifted his sight and glanced over to him, but immediatly avoided his eye-contact as he looked around. "You're having a headache?", Beth asked and slammed a pan on the stove. Josh twitched by the loud voice, squinting his eyes. "God Beth, be a bit carefull, my head is almost exploding for fuck's sake!" That was enough and Chris couldn't hold on himself: "You didn't care that much as you fucked up my ass last night, or if it might feel sore after all!" Beth folded her arms and Josh was looking at Chris like he's gone mad. "What is this about?", he replied, looking between Chris and his sister. "Are you conspiring against me, or what?" Chris saw his brother was getting all red in his face. "Are you serious?", he asked, looking to Chris again, but he just averted Joshs glance. "Just ask yourself if it was worth it to fuck up your brother being drunk like a tyke.", Beth retorted, receiving a glare from her brother. "I don't know what you're having to do with this, but if anything is wrong, Chris should come to me and speak with me about it. Not with you! You don't have anything to do with our relationship, okay?" Both were glaring at each other, as Sam entered the kitchen. "What... is going on here?", she asked with an insecure tone in her voice. "Nothing!", Chris answered, standing up and leaving the table. "I'll go back to my room. I... I have to get my head clear, okay? I'll come up to you later Beth." he said and left the kitchen.

He hadn't been alone for long in his room as somebody knocked at the door. Chris didn't answer the call, then Josh entered the room. "Can we speak?", he said, looking over to Chris, who stood at his opened window again. The fresh air felt good in his face, he didn't want to talk to his brother yet. But Josh decided they had to and closed the door behind him. "Why don't you come to me, if there's anything you're mad at me? Why do you go to my sister and tell her?" Chris waited until he answered. "I didn't tell her! It came up as I couldn't sit down at the table and I said my back is aching, so as my tailbone." He shortly looked at him, saying it in a completely calm voice. "And you know our sister... She knows if there's something up with you, even if you don't want to talk about it. And you know what a bad liar I am.", he added. Slowly Josh went over to him, just stopped a few steps behind him. "I'm sorry Chris! Really! I shouldn't have done that, while I was drunk, I..." - "No, you shouldn't. But now it's my ass what's hurting, not yours.", he interupted him. "You could have been using some lube at least to prepare me!" Now it was Josh who averted eye-contact. Chris was wondering about himself at this moment. Usually he wasn't that calm in a discussion like this. He knew Josh already learned his lesson, but he couldn't let him go with just that. He had to know what he was up to. "Is it really that bad?", Josh asked carefully. "Yeah... but I hope Beth's ointment helps, what she'll give to me later. I can barely sit at the moment." Josh decreased the last distance between them, laying his hand on Chris' shoulder. "I just can say it again: I'm sorry! I shouldn't have done that. But this doesn't change the fact that I love you." - "Yeah... you told me right before you fucked me." Chris didn't want to put on a show, but he couldn't resist to take a little bit of revenge against his brother. Josh took a deep breath and Chris gave him a slight smirk. "Maybe you should take over the leading role next time. Maybe I'm not good at that...", Josh said and Chris lifted his eyebrows. "We'll see...", he replied, feeling Joshs hand running through his hair what made him shivering. "Are we good?", Josh asked and Chris just whispered: "We are..." They shared a gaze and Chris grabbed after Joshs hand, embracing it. "By the way... I love you too, you stupid idiot!", Chris added and kissed him. In a strange way he felt good, being the one who started kissing... Maybe this 'leading-role-thing' wasn't as bad as he thought.

In the meantime everyone else was awake. As Josh and Chris joined the others in the kitchen, they were looking at them like something real serious had happened. "Are you okay guys?", Sam asked. "Yeah... just... just bro-things, you know?", Josh replied. Chris went over to the kitchen island, getting some breakfast, so as Josh. While he went over to the table to sit down, Chris still stood near the stove, eating his breakfast while standing. Mike was the first who was looking at him, confused, but he didn't say anything. The whole group was busy with a chit-chat, so nobody asked Chris why he just stood there. Later they all took part in cleaning up the lodge, but it wasn't much to do, just to get rid of the junk they made. A little later Beth touched Chris at his arm, signalising him to follow her. They went to Beths sleeping room, Chris closed the door behind him, while Beth went over to her desk. "Just take this a few times a day, it'll be okay soon.", she said and handed over a tube. "Thanks!", Chris replied. "So, did you both talk about what happened?", she asked, but Chris was still uneasy to talk about everything. "Yeah... everything is okay.", he answered. "Good... And please... Don't do anything you don't want to! I know Josh and he can be very rude if he doesn't get what he wants." - "I know...", Chris replied, but smiled. "We sorted such things out. And I think everything will be okay." - "I just say it, because you'll be alone with him, if we're leaving, you know? I'm just worried." Chris was glad, she cared that much of him. "Yeah. I guess, he learned his lesson."

Later that day, the whole group drove to the cable-car station. First to thank everybody for the good time and giving them a nice goodbye, seconded because their mother would join them again, how she announced. As they arrived, the goodbye wasn't that easy for everyone. As Chris took leave of Ashley, he hugged her and gave her a peck on the cheek. "Thanks for coming and... thanks for understanding me." - "No need to thank me Chris!", she replied, smiling at him. Within this moment they looked at each other, the other moment she was stretching after him to give him a short kiss on his lips. He just let it happen. As they parted, she hugged him again, before she smiled and left. He was waving for his goodbye as Josh stood beside him. "What was this kiss for?", he mumbled, while Chris still was waving. "Just a little farewell. Remember, she's got a crush on me!", he said, stopped waving and smirked at his brother. "But I told her, I'm not interested because I love somebody else and she accepted it." - "She did?", Josh replied and Chris nodded with the feeling of satisfaction.

It didn't take long until their mother arrived, together with their father. "Dad! You didn't say you would join us!", Hannah was excited, so as Beth. "Hey girls, everything alright?", he asked, looking over to his boys. "And you two? Did you already try out the range?" - "Yeah dad... It's quite nice.", Josh replied. The family was reunited. After they arrived at the lodge, Melinda was looking over everything in the house. "You really did a good job with cleaning." - "We had help." - "You've got quite some good friends.", she answered to Joshs reply. "Who's hungry?", she asked, walking over to the kitchen and Chris followed her without any request, while Josh was sitting with his father on the couch, showing all the presents he got for his birthday.

"How's my baby boy feeling?", Melinda asked and Chris was smiling. With his mother, he always felt good, even if he would never tell her what was going on with Josh. - If he didn't have to! "I'm good mum." - "You missed me?", she asked him. This was the 'everytime-and-always-conversation', after she had left him for a few days. "Do I really have to answer? - Of course I did!", he replied with a charming voice, sitting down carefully on a chair near the kitchen island. "Did you even left anything in the fridge I can cook something of?", she asked, while searching for some ingredients. Half an hour later, they were still talking about this and that, so Chris took his chance: "Mom... Josh already told me he talked to you because we want to stay here over the weekend." - "Yeah he did." - "We talked about that and it would be great if we're allowed to." - "I'm okay with that, just talk to your father, because he isn't really amused about it." - "Why?", Chris was unsure what to say, because he already thought, it was okay. "It's just... He doesn't like it, if somebody's here at the lodge alone within these woods and so." - "He produces too many horror-movies!", Chris retorted, whereupon Melinda laughed. "Maybe you should tell him that!", she said.

A few minutes later he joined his father and Josh on the couch. Josh was busy explaining to Bob about the camera Sam gave to him and his father was listening to him. Chris never asked himself about what his relationship to his father was or how deep it was. He always was good to him and he managed everything financial for Chris. He never had to worry about how he could pay the fees for college, his schoolbooks or else. He always was there and handled him like his own son. Together with Melinda they were perfect parents. "Hey bro, everything alright?", he heard Josh through his fog of thoughts. "Yeah, everything is okay.", he answered. Such an evening was rare, together with both of his parents. He was almost alone with his siblings and his mother, because Bob was always somewhere, making a movie, holding up auditions or else. But even if he wasn't always there, he cared about his children, even about Chris. But nevertheless, he had to talk about the weekend with him. He waited for the right moment and asked him: "Dad, Mum said, you're not okay with us being here for the weekend. So I wanted to talk about you with that." Josh looked at him confused, because he was the one, who planed it first. "Oh, yeah... You know, I don't like the thought of you two being here completely alone.", he replied. "Yeah, I kinda understand that. But... I mean, I'm 18 years old, Josh turned 19. We're old enough and I don't think there's a werewolf lurking around the house." he said with a lopsided grin. "Yes dad... please!" - "What do you wanna do within these days? Can't you just do that at home?" - "Dad, we're almost grew up here and it was always a place of silence. College really stressed us out, so we thought it would be nice to have a few days off, watching movies, doing brotherly activities, you know?", Josh added. That was a good point. Chris could see how his dad was thinking about it. "What if something happens while you're here?", he replied. "Dad, I know every corner of this house. As we arrived we turned on the generator. I was in the basement, turning on the water boiler. I know almost everything, how to handle it. We won't blow off the lodge, I guess." Bob took a deep breath. Chris noticed it wasn't an easy thing to decide for him, but he was hoping he would lean in. "Okay boys... But don't do anything unpredictable, alright?" - "Thanks dad!", Josh said and Chris nodded, glancing over to his brother with a smile.

"Dear god, Josh, for fuck's sake!", Chris whispered, even if he was shocked about Joshs appearance in his room. "There's a reason why I'm locking up my door at night!" He was laying in bed, already dozing, somehow Josh entered his room again. "What do you think you're doing?", he whispered again as Josh sat down on his bed. "Everything's okay, so don't make a fuss out of it!", Josh replied, laying down at his brothers side, grabbing for the blanket. "And what do you think we're doing? I'm not even able to do something, if you remember?" - "Who said I want to have sex with you?", he said. Chris let out a slight moan. "Just relax, Chris. I just wanted to share some time with you, because I don't have any within the day. Is that kinda understandable?" - "Yeah... I'm sorry." - "I'm just happy dad leaned in, so we have plenty of time if they're gone." - "Yes, this was quite a good decision. Just to have time for ourselves, being cuddly the whole day...", Chris replied, looking over to his brother with a smirk. "You're such a dork, Chris..." - "Just... just take it easy for today okay? I don't really wanna know what kinda ointment Beth has given me, but it hella works!", Chris told him. "That's no problem, I still have something to do in exchange, what will make you feel better and your ass doesn't even has something to do with it.", Josh answered, grinning. "You have? What kind of... exchange is that?" - "Just lean back and chill, little brother... And I don't wanna hear a single noise coming from you!" Chris was too tired to do something, but on the flipside, he was kinda scared what would happen next. "I just have cleaned up the bed Josh!", he tried to convice his brother to leave it, but it was pointless. Josh just shushed him and leaned over, glancing down on him. "Whatever it is, what's in your mind, be carefull, okay?", Chris murmured and Josh gave him a slight nod. 

After a short moment of sharing a gaze, Josh slipped under the blanket, placing himself between Chris' legs. At first, he ran over Chris' underwear with his hand, pulling up his shirt a bit, so he could place a few kisses on Chris' skin, while stroking him. Chris felt the tip of Joshs tongue on his stomach, slipping into his navel, everything as gentle as it could be. Josh kissed his way up to Chris' chest, gliding down his sides with his fingertips. He didn't make an attempt to pull his shirt off, he just took what was necessary and Chris' liked it. Then one hand of Josh slid into Chris' pants, softly touching his dick. He was just teasing him and stretched up to his mouth to lick over Chris' lips. Chris snatched at his tongue, grabbing into his hair and Josh kissed him. Chris' breath got deep as Josh gripped around his dick, stroking with his thumb over the tip. Chris let out a small moan and Josh slid back under the blanket. Slowly he pulled down Chris' shorts, just as much as he needed and Chris let it happen. He noticed Josh's breath on his dick, felt how he licked over the tip, while his hand gripped around him again. The first moves were gentle, he really pampered Chris up. This time he realized his body was completely relaxed, he just enjoyed the tenderness of Josh, while biting onto his lips, so he had not to let out another sound. It was even harder for him not to moan as Josh took him into his mouth, gliding with his tongue over his slit, starting to move his head in a flowing movement. Chris grabbed after Joshs hair, pressing himself into the pillow. 

Within Joshs movement Chris' feelings ran high, he just breathed deep, it wasn't easy for him to stay silent. He noticed Josh moved a little faster, gave his lips a little pressure, slightly sucked on him. Chris couldn't hold onto himself and bucked his hips a bit, but Josh pushed him down on the bed, slowing down his movement, before Chris calmed down and he got faster again. Chris licked over his own lips because his arousal was almost unbearable, feeling hard as he never had been. He couldn't do anything against the slight twitches of his hips, but Josh knew how to handle it. As the pressure in his stomach became bigger, he grabbed after his pillow, just to have a firm grip, before he clenched his teeth, letting out a compressed sound. He opened his mouth, gasped for air as Josh took his free hand, embracing with his own. His sight blured, it was like little white explosions were bursting in front of his eyes. The urge to come went bigger and as Josh tightened the grip at his hand a little bit, he couldn't hold it anymore. He tried not to buck his hip again, repressed it successfully and felt the ease of reaching his peak. He bit his tongue not to start moaning. In a strange kinda way the suppression of his arousal made everything to a completely new experience. Josh slowed down his moves, sucked on him until he let go his last drop.

This time every movement of Josh was a pleasure, even if he already came. He let go off of him, pulling up Chris' shorts again, just to show up a moment later under the blanket. "Good boy...", Josh mocked him with a deep voice, licking over his lips. He leaned over Chris again, looking down into his eyes. Chris was still shivering, breathing deep and reached out to kiss him. He was exhausted, but even happy and relaxed. After they parted, Josh asked him: "Was that easy enough?" Chris just smiled and gave him another kiss. Josh didn't leave him within the next two hours. They just laid there, entwined to each other, kissing from time to time. As Josh left him, it didn't take long for Chris to fell into sleep.


	13. Home alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First I have to say: Thank you very much for every comment, response on tumblr or else. This really motivated me. And you could thank yourself, because this is the reason this chapter I'll release as it is - Because I was seriously thinking about to split it.
> 
> But I guess then you would have killed me! ;)
> 
> And I have to say - I was really thinking about to shorten it up, because I'm actually not that kind of person who's going this deep if it comes to writing down sex scenes.
> 
> But I hope you'll like it and maybe you'll reward me with a comment, tumblr ask or whatever... ;)
> 
> Because at least - you as my reader - have an immediate influence to what I write and how long this fic will be!
> 
> Just wanted to say that... But now: Have fun! ;) I would be happy to read you on tumblr or in the comments! ;)

The following two days were hard to take for Chris and Josh. They didn't have much time to be together. If they met within the night, the just talked or cuddled, but that wasn't enough. Being trapped, everytime their parents saw them or Hannah... Sometimes the urge to touch the other was too big, but they withstand - almost. There was this tense, nobody of them could discribe. One time Chris brushed Joshs fingers as he passed him, the other second his mother came into the room. It was like they did something strictly forbidden. Chris was too scared to get caught by them and Josh understood it. "I'm so happy if they're gone tomorrow!", Chris said in a low voice as Josh joined him in his room after the family went to bed. "Me too. You know what the worst part is?" - "No, what?" - "To look into their eyes and lie about everything. Just the thought of breaking their hearts if they know it one day is scaring the shit out of me.", Josh replied. "I know... But there's no other choice I guess." Josh hid his face at Chris' chest. "Sometimes I think I love you so much it hurts!", Josh mumbled and Chris ran through his hair, sticking his nose into it.

The other day Chris woke up. The first thought in his mind was 'Today is the day'. The day their parents and siblings would leave the lodge. So he stood up, was completely motivated and put on his clothes. As he joined his family, his mood was really good, but he had himself under control. "When do you leave?", he asked his mother while breakfast. "At noon, I guess!", she responsed. "You should go and buy some supplies if you want to survive until the weekend. We don't have enough, cause we didn't know you would stay so long. And there's no pizza-service.", Bob said to Josh and Chris and both were looking at each other. "Better go after breakfast. The other thing is: I'll leave my car here for you, so you can drive home on sunday yourself. Is that a deal?" Bob added and Josh lifted his eyebrows. "Really? I mean, it wouldn't be a problem to drive home. Thanks dad!", he said. "Yeah, thank you very much!", Chris said. It was just perfect!

After the breakfast Chris put on some more clothes, then he joined Josh to go to the cable-car. "The keys!", Bob said as he handed them over to Josh. "Don't worry dad. Everything will be okay this weekend." - "It's okay. I was just a little worried, but you're finally old enough, so as your brother." Josh was smiling thankfully and they left. Inside the cable car they sat down, didn't speak a word, until Josh was looking over to Chris. "They're leaving at noon." - "I know!" - "What we're gonna do first?" Chris looked back, folding his arms. "Don't think you can unbox your sex-machine right as they closed the door from the outside!" His voice was too honest for Josh and he started laughing. "I already thought we would completely be all over each other..." - "We should slow-down everything a little bit. We just made this one mistake and I don't want to experience this again, you know? With a little patience everything will come on it's own." - "I know and I don't want to relive it either." - "And I tell you another thing." - "What?" - "We won't buy some booze - Don't even think about that!", Chris said and interupted Josh as he opened his mouth to say something. "This shit is making a monster out of you. I'm happy my ass isn't howling anymore if I sit down!" Josh couldn't help himself and started to laugh. His laugh was so fraught with relieve Chris couldn't avoid to grin.

At the market they bought everything they needed, but Josh had the great idea to buy five packages of chips. "What are you doing with them? Bathing in them?", Chris asked and Josh looked over to him. "I wanted to eat them, but bathing in them doesn't sound like a bad idea. Should I get more of them then?" Chris just stared at him, while Josh gave him a lopsided grin. "It's okay man..." - "Thanks to Mum, she gave me the money." Chris almost started to relax with his thought of being alone with Josh soon. It wasn't the thing they would have the whole house for themselves, it was just the ease of his mind. He finally could relax if it would come to something like sex or even kissing.

They packed everything into the car. Before Josh started the engine, Chris grabbed after his jacket: "Before we drive back - One serious question: Do you have any lube at the lodge?" He gave Josh a glance and saw that he caught him. "Seriously dude? - We're at the market and you don't say a single word?" One moment later he was searching some money in his pockets. "Here! Go and get some - And don't come back until you have it. Add some condoms, if you're already buying this stuff." Josh lifted his eyebrows. "Condoms?" - "Yeah, condoms! And if you're asking me what size now, I'll forget myself!", he added because Josh opened his mouth to say something. Josh swallowed, looking at the money in his hands and left the car. It took up to ten minutes until he came back. Joshs head was redened as he entered the car. "Don't ask, but I don't wanna see the bright grin of the cashier ever again!", he said, completely embarassed and Chris couldn't hold it but snorted. Josh handed over the bag to Chris and started the engine. "Why are you giving me this?" - "Because you have enough pockets in your layers to hide them!", he replied. "At least they're usefull for something!", Chris responded with a bright grin.

As they arrived back at the lodge, the family was still packing their stuff. "Did you get everything you need, boys?", Melinda asked and shooked her head about the five packages of chips, Josh picked up. "Yeah... Don't ask me, what he wants to do with them, but be sure, I bought almost everything what we need this weekend and it's not just pizza or chips." Melinda brushed Chris' cheek, smiling: "This is my boy!", she said, leaving Chris with a smirk in his face. After Chris got changed, he went to Beths room. She was busy packing, but he wanted to give her the ointment back. "Thank you very much, that helped a lot!", he said, laying the tube on the desk. "Don't you think you'll need it again? I mean, I don't need it at the moment, so you can keep it until you're back home. "Hmmm..." Chris was thinking about it and Beth looked over to him. "Keep it! You'll never know for what you'll need it!" - "Thanks!", Chris said and smiled. "You know what? As disgusting as it sounded in the first place. Within the last days I realized that I'm happy for you and Josh. Seriously." - "Honestly? Why?" - "Because you two went through many things I wouldn't wish for anybody. With your relationship you've got something you can share. Sometimes this could be a big relief." - "A nice way to see things." - "Yeah, isn't it?", Beth replied, smiling. She threw another shirt into her suitcase and went over to Chris, giving him back the tube. "And who says it will be you, who needs it?" She gave him a lopsided grin and he widened his eyes, but smiled back at her.

Noon came sooner as expected. Chris hugged his mother, giving her a peck on the cheek. "I'm home soon mom. Everything will be okay." - "Yeah, but I hope you get enough to eat, dear." - "We bought plenty of food and I know how to cook something, you know?", he replied, smiling and she laughed. After they took leave from their parents and sisters, they stood at the door, waving. Beth turned a last time and smiled a big grin. "What was that for?", Josh asked. "Nah, she's just happy for us." - "How do you know that?" - "She said this to me. That she's happy for us, because we have been through so many things and we have somthing to share now." - "She really said that?" - "Yip!" After they entered the lodge again and Chris closed the door behind him, he turned around and Josh immediatly pinned him to the wall, started to kiss him. His kisses were deep and he pulled Chris down to the floor. After they parted, Chris was looking at him with widened eyes and an opened mouth, but Josh just gave him a lopsided grin. "I needed that so bad, bro!", he said and stood up. Chris took a deep breath, saying: "Wow!", before he stood up too.

*****

"Cochise, we really should try the cinema room. Doesn't matter which movie!", Josh suggested, but Chris wasn't really excited about it. "I always feel lost in this big room. You know I like it cosy!" - "Okay, okay, we actually can use the TV in the living room. Now that you have all blankets on the couch for yourself." Chris was smiling at him as he said that. The couch in the living room was way cosier than the cinema room. "I've gotta change before we start this, okay?", Chris said. It was already within the evening hours and they just wanted to watch a few movies, eating some chips - Like on their DVD evening they kissed for the first time, just with a bigger setting. So Josh prepared everything for starting the movie, while Chris went to his room to change. He wore some jeans and two shirts and this was way too uncomfortable. He changed into some sweatpants, a t-shirt and an old flannel. He was grinning about himself. Even if he wanted to get cosy he used two layers. Josh already laid on the couch, zapping through the channels. "There you are!", he said, seeing his boyfriend coming over. The L-shaped couch allowed them to lay down, but to lean against each other. After Chris sat down, Josh crawled over to him, laying his head on Chris' lab and started the movie. Within the first minutes he was staring at Chris, whose one hand fondled through Joshs hair, while the other hand laid on his shoulder. As he noticed the stare of his brother, Chris was grinning at him. "What? I wanna see this movie. If you don't pay attention the first minutes, you won't get the whole story." He knew what Josh wanted and it was the first time he could see things relaxed, but he really liked this movie. As Josh turned his head, he was happy, watching this movie with his brother while cuddling a bit. They laughed a lot, because the movie was just hilarious. After it ended, Josh was excited about it. "Why didn't you suggest it before, this was a blast!" - "I knew you would love it!", Chris responded. After talking about the movie for half an hour they started a second one, this time suggested by Josh. They had a real good evening with laughter, action and chips. "Wanna get some more coke, bro?", Josh asked because the bottle was already empty. "Yeah, why not?", he said, sticking another chip into his mouth.

"Dude, I brought another box of...", he started, walking back to the living room, seeing Chris laying there, with closed eyes. He was just a few moments at the kitchen and his brother fell into a doze - This was impossible! After laying down the new box of chips and leaving the coke on the table, he dimmed the light and turned off the TV, before he leaned over his brother, looking at him with a slight admiration in his eyes, before he softly kissed him on his lips. "Hnnnmm...", Chris woke up, feeling his brothers lips on his own, but didn't open his eyes. Joshs kisses were that gently and carefull, he tasted like coke and barbecue chips. The brunette brushed over the cheek of his brother, over to his ear and Chris squinted his eyes, because it felt like an electric shock, leading straight to his stomach. Josh didn't forget what Chris said about his most sensitive parts. Slowly Josh asked with his tongue for an entrance of Chris' mouth and he leaned in, laying a hand on his brothers side. Josh cocked his head to the other side, just to part from his lips a few moments later, kissing his way to Chris' ear, biting slightly into his earlab. As his tonguetip touched Chris' ear, the blonde bit onto his lower lip, completely enjoying the efforts of his brother and he didn't even started to bring his hands into the game. Josh kissed his way down Chris' neck, slightly sucking on his skin, just not enough to leave a hickey. Chris couldn't help himself and let out a light moan, because Josh reached another point he was sensitive at. It was just a matter of time until Josh would realize his brother was already hard as fuck because of his tenderness, but in a strange way he knew Josh wouldn't be that hasty today. On the flipside it was too enjoyable to stop it now.

Josh started to unbutton Chris' shirt, not thinking about to unbutton the ones on his arms. As he pulled down the shirt, it got stuck on Chris' hands, what resulted in a little melee, mixed out of kissing, pulling Chris's shirt off and the urge just to rip it away from Chris' body. "Shhhh...", Chris tried to calm his brother down as he noticed this appearance of impatience, grabbing after his own wrists to unbutton the arms. "Slow down Josh...", he hushed him, slipping out of the shirt. "See, everything's okay...", he said, laying his hand on Joshs neck, just to pull him back into another deep kiss. He felt the hands of his brother on his hips, dragging him a little bit, so he could lay back and Josh was completely over him. With his drag, Josh placed himself between Chris' legs, bending down on him. Josh was still kissing him and Chris noticed, he wasn't alone with his arousal, but he already kinda knew it. It didn't take long and Josh started moving his hips, until Chris realized Josh was dry humping him. "Josh... Josh...", Chris pleaded him and Josh got slower, making eye-contact with his brother. "Let's change to my room, okay?", he asked willingly and Josh gave him one last kiss, until they stood up. "Go ahead. I'll join you as soon as possible.", Chris said in a softly voice and Josh was on his way to Chris' room. 

Meanwhile Chris went to the hall-stand and took out a light neckcloth, which he brought over to his room. Josh already made himself comfortable on the bed by taking of his shirt and jeans, just left his shorts on. But the light was too bright for Chris' taste, so he placed the scarf on top of the lamp to dim the light. After that he went over to the nightstand, taking out the lube and condoms. "I still asking myself why you need them." Chris still kneeled on the floor, looking at his brother. "It's not that I don't trust you. They just make it easier to clean things up and..." - "And?" - "And they're helping us with the challenge not to hurt each other." Chris stood up, sitting on the bed. "My brother... The nerd with the mind for everything.", Josh mocked him and Chris leaned over him, after he took his glasses off, placing them on the nightstand. "If it isn't me, who else does?", he asked with a softly voice. "I love you, Chris!", Josh said and before Chris could kiss him, he stuttered with a whisper: "To-Today I... I want you on t-t..." Chris realized that his brother was anxious as himself right before his first time, but he didn't want to discuss about it. "Ssshhhh..." He shushed him, fondling through his hair, brushing over his temples. "Don't!", he just said and finally kissed him.

This time Chris pampered Josh completely up. After getting rid of his own shirt and pants, he kissed Joshs chest, slightly sucking on his skin, licking over it, until he reached the happy trail of his brother, where he carefully pulled his hair with his lips. Josh stretched himself in arousal, grabbing for the crossbar at the bedhead, while his other hand rested on the sheets. Chris pulled down the shorts to expose the rest of Joshs body. He made eye-contact with his brother, just to bend down the other moment to lick over Joshs dick. It felt like an ease in Chris' ears as he heard his brothers moan, taking him deeper into his mouth. But instead of giving him a simple blow-job, Chris just teased and released him after a few moments of sucking, just to give him a dirty smile. "Why do you have to torture me?", Josh plead willingly as Chris was bending over him, reaching for the bottle of lube. But he just responded with a slight snort. The blonde opened the bottle, just to leave a few spots of lube on his fingers, rubbing them against each other to spread it, before he leaned over Josh again. He bit himself on his tongue, concentrating on what he was doing, as his pointer an middle-finger started to stimulate Joshs entrance. After a few rubs he noticed, his brother was quite relaxed so he gave his middle-finger a carefull push. He lifted his eyes, made eye-contact with Josh and went deeper into him. The lube did a really good job, so he could add another finger into his moves soon. He saw Joshs chattering teeth and his widened nostrils as he went on with his preparation. He took his time, until he slid out of him, reaching for one of the tissues on his nightstand, together with a condom.

Honestly he was asking himself, how he could hold onto himself with such a patience and without any further stimulation, but the situation was already enough for him. It wasn't the first time for Chris to put on a condom, he just needed a little bit of concentration. A few moments later he was finished and leaned over Josh, looking him into his eyes. Laying between his legs was a completely new experience for Chris and he was a little insecure, because he didn't want to make any mistakes. He kissed Josh on his lips, softly and gentle. "You really want that?", Chris reassured himself and Josh noded, his lips slightly opened, breathing deep. So Chris raised himself up a bit, reaching with his hand to his lower region to give himself a little help. Meanwhile Josh lifted up his legs to give Chris a better angle. After giving himself a little push and sliding into Josh - what was easier than he thought - Chris squinted his eyes, biting on his lower lip to keep control, while Josh pressed his head into the pillow, letting out a longing moan. After he penetrated Josh completely, he stopped, just to get a feeling for the new situation. Chris kissed Joshs neck, gently pushing against him, before he started to give his hips some moves. After a few of them he already felt dizzy, couldn't hold on himself and gasped for air, while he thrusted further on. With every single thrust he noticed this rising pressure in his stomach, longing for an ease, but he tried to delay his climax for another few moments. But soon he realized, he wasn't really able to do so and even Josh was aware of it. What completely blew off his fuse was his name on Joshs lips. "Oh fuck... ahhh...", he stuttered, going on with his unsteady movement. He felt Joshs hands on his waist, pulling Chris deeper into him. It was just an uncontrolled twitching, after he reached his peak, but Chris kinda liked it. While panting he leaned over to Josh, leaning on his forehead, while Josh looped his arms around Chris neck, starting to kiss him. Within all these emotions Chris didn't realize Josh came right after him, but as soon as this wave of feelings eased up, he noticed some slight contractions around him what was proof enough.

Chris was still gasping for air, laying on top of Josh, as Josh touched the blondes hair, running slowly through it. "You're okay?", Josh wisphered and Chris nodded, his eyes still closed. Josh gave him a kiss on his forehead and he looked up to him. "I didn't imagine it would be like this after what you told me.", Josh said. "I hope I didn't hurt you.", Chris replied, but Josh smiled. "No, you haven't." - "Good!" Chris lifted up his head, placed his fist on Josh's chest and leaned his chin on top. "I guess this is finally the point of no return." - "What do you mean?" - "Maybe this sounds stupid, but..." - "Yeah?" - "I finally have a goddamn crush on you!", Chris confessed with lifted eyebrows, grinning. Josh smirked, running through Chris' hair again, before his brother stretched over to him to give him another deep kiss. "I love you!", Chris said and it was the first time, it came from him first and without any kind of mocking. Within all these times of hide and seek in front of his parents, Chris always had the feeling and urge to hide the love for his brother. He loved him, but he realized just yet, how deep his crush on him really was. Now he knew what it meant to feel overwhelmed by thousands of butterflies in his tummy. He finally knew his love for Josh was fucking real!


	14. Switching

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First: Thank you very much for your feedback again! I was really pleased to read your comments and the questions on tumblr. :)
> 
> Here comes the next chapter, I hope you'll have fun. :)
> 
> I would be happy to read some feedback again! ;)
> 
> By the way one thing: This won't turn out into a mega-sex-party, don't worry. But now that they're alone in the lodge, they have to experience a bit... ;)

Taking a shower was rejuvenating for Chris the other morning. He woke up because Josh was kissing him. But before he could go further, Chris hat the urge to get up. Something changed that night. Until yesterday he was scared of sex after their first time. After he had sex with Josh, it was something completely different. And he couldn't imagine ever being without Josh again. He enjoyed the hot water on his skin, washing every evidence of last night off of his body. A slight cold breeze brushed over his back and he looked over his shoulder. He already expected Josh to join him, but he didn't think it would take that long. "Are you stalking me now?", Chris asked, feeling Joshs hands on his shoulders. "No... I just thought it would be necessary taking a shower too. - May I wash your back?", he replied and Chris was a little suprised. "Sure!", he said, giving him the shower gel. Josh wasn't just washing his back, he took the chance to give him a little massage, what just felt good for Chris. "Where did you come up with that?", he asked Josh. "Don't know. Maybe I've just got a knack for it.", he responded, gliding over Chris' spine with his thumb. Chris lowered his head, really enjoying the mix of hot water and the efforts of his brother. As he finished his work, Chris turned around. "Need a little help for yourself now?", he said and Josh was thankful for it. "You know, I wanna take you out today.", Josh said while Chris washed his back. "Where do you wanna go?", he asked back. "Maybe we could go for a walk through the woods. Just one hour or two." - "Doesn't sound so bad."

After they finished the shower, they put on some clothes. "I'll go, make some breakfast." - "Yeah, great!", Josh answered. Chris had that feeling, Josh was finally calm again. Within the last days he was kinda out of his mind, nervous and unstable. But today he seemed to feel better. Everything was relaxed. And he was happy to join his brother for the walk today. It sounded just like one of those relationships which lasted for ten years at least. With this thought he smiled for himself. While making breakfast he was thinking about everything. He stood at the kitchen island, cutting some fruit, as Josh joined him. He passed him taking a piece of banana and sticking it into his mouth. "Hey, don't touch that yet!" - "You already touched it, bro!", he teased Chris, sticking a finger into his ribs. "You're a spoiled little brat, did anyone told you that?", Chris retorted, grabbing after the shirt of his brother, but Josh was just giggling. "C'mere!", Chris pulled his brother to him, laying his arms on Joshs shoulders. "You know what?" - "No?" - "I love you!", he said with a smile. "Enjoyed last night?", Josh replied and Chris nodded his head, taking a deep breath. "It was something completely different." - "Yeah... And I'm quite happy about it." - "Me too." Chris reached for some fruit, picking up a piece of kiwi, sticking it into his mouth. As he looked over to Josh again, he saw his brother was thinking about something. "What's going on, Josh?" Josh just shook his head. "Nothing. Maybe I'm just too happy about everything." - "This isn't bad though. Think about it - There are two days of pure happyness laying ahead. And we'll drive almost the whole sunday." He saw this wasn't really convincing for Josh. "We should enjoy these days. Every minute... second... Every single moment." Josh lifted his eyes, looking at Chris. "Yeah, you're right." But he wasn't smiling or else. "Hey...", Chris said with a softly voice, leaning his forehead against the one of his brother. "We'll get everything managed, okay?" As he said that, he noticed, Josh was slightly shivering. "I'll never leave you again, okay?" He brushed with his hand over his brothers cheek. "Why are you so scared right now?", he wanted to know and Josh gripped after Chris' wrist. "I just... I waited so long for this moment. I'm so anxious about the thought, you could leave me. Even if you don't want to." - "Look, we're adult people. No one can tear us apart. You have to keep that in mind. It would be worse for you, if I didn't lean in to all of this, wouldn't it?", he made a last try and Josh nodded his head. Chris pulled him into a deep hug and gave him a kiss on his forehead. He smelled Joshs hair, closed his eyes and was happy as Josh hugged him back. "So... would you like to split a bananasplit now?", he asked and Josh grinned at him. "You're such a dork sometimes.", he replied. "I know!", Chris responsed.

After breakfast they got ready for the walk. It was already near noon as they left the lodge. The air was that fresh, Josh started coughing as he took a deep breath. "This is unbelievable, how different it is up here compared to the city." - "Yeah, you're right.", Chris answered, closing the zipper of his jacket. "Where do you wanna go?", he asked and Josh was looking around. "I've got an idea.", he just said, started walking, Chris followed. They walked a few minutes as Chris asked him: "So... would you like to tell me, how you entered my room within the night, while my door was locked?" Josh was grinning brightly. "As I said - There are things in the lodge, you don't know about." - "How did you find out?" - "I found some plans at the basement of our mansion. But I think even dad doesn't know everything. The way to your room was one of these things." - "How did you even found out?" - "Try and error?", he asked back, looking at Chris. "If I think about it, this was really risky, you know?" - "Why?" - "What if you didn't find the way back and got lost?" - "Don't tell me you've got the thought of me, dying within these walls and one day Beth or Hannah's talking about how smelly it is in the whole lodge, after I disappeared two years ago." Chris stared at him, completely honest. "Seriously? Are you mad?" Josh started to laugh. "I always got a phone with me to avoid such a situation." - "That's quite good, but even I've got just a slight connection with my phone up here dude." - "Then dying within the walls it is...", Josh retorted, just further grinning. "You jerk!", Chris said.

They already walked a while until they came to a viewing platform. The view was almost unreal with its colors. They saw some snow laying on top of the hills, the woods were green, mixed with a slight touch of brownish color. Today was one of these days, where heaven couldn't be clearer. They saw no single cloud up there. "This is fucking amazing.", Josh said, leaning above the railing, looking down. "Wow, this is high. Chris, look!" - "Did you forget? I don't like heights!", he replied, standing in a reasonable distance to the railing, his hands sticking in his pockets. He noticed it wasn't really cold, but up here even Josh's breath left thin clouds in the air. "Aren't you feeling cold, Josh?", Chris asked and Josh leaned back. "A little... why?" The next moment he heard the noise of Chris' zipper. "Wanna lean on?" He opened his jacket, giving Josh the chance to get warm. "Yeah, why not.", he responsed, cuddling deep into his brothers jacket, with his back against his chest. Chris felt Josh slightly shivering, and he embraced him with his arms. "This is exactly why I'm always wearing some layers. You'll never know how cold it is out here." - "Hm, if you think about it: If I would wear this many layers, you wouldn't have a chance to cuddle with me out here.", he said, smirking at Chris, laying his head on his shoulder. "Good point.", Chris answered, sticking his nose into the crook of Josh's neck. "Should we go back then?", Josh asked and Chris nodded his head. "Okay. I'll cook us some good things and maybe you'll show me this secret passage of the house. I'm actually interested in everything what you found out about the lodge."

As they returned, Chris started to cook something. He didn't really had practical experience, but he watched over his mother as she cooked for them. So he knew how to cut everything and put it into a pan. "Do you already know what you're doing there?", Josh said, leaning across the kitchen island, grabbing after some peppersticks. "I know how to cook this! Just go..." - "I would love to watch you!" - "Leave it! Put away your fingers, man!", Chris scolded him, because he was grabbing after another stick. "What should I do in this big house, just without you?", he asked. Chris bit on his lips, looking at him. "You know what? Go fuck yourself!" He grinned after Josh, but his brother had this serious look in his eyes. "You want me to do it on the kitchen island, or on the couch, while you're watching?", he retorted and Chris snorted. "You're such a dickhead!" After a few minutes Josh realized Chris really knew how to handle everything. But honestly Chris didn't know, he just tried and it turned out good. After he finished, he handed over a plate. "Okay and now you're telling me what this is!", Josh said, picking up the fork. "It's some chicken-curry, peppers, rice and ... watch out, it's hot!", he warned Josh, because he was - like that often - too hasty. "Ye... uhhhh..." He squinted his eyes, trying to swallow it. "It's damn hot, but it's good!", Josh said, taking a sip of his coke.

"Ever knew there is a button behind the books?", Josh asked him at the library within the lodge. "No, how would I?", he replied and Josh took away a few books from the shelf. Behind it there was a little button. "Wanna push it?", Josh asked him with a grin in his face. "Why do I have this straight feeling that if I push it, something will jump out of the wall?" Josh laughed, pushing the button. A door opened, behind it was a room. "Abracadabra!", Josh said with a special voice. "What's in there?" - "Don't know. I just found some old magazines of the 50s and a bunch of dust." - "There's no floor or something like that?" - "No, but I'll show you some other good things, come on." He closed the secret door again, going downstairs. "You know where my room is, right?" - "Of course I know." - "Good!", Josh said, walking over to a place near his room what looked like it was just a simple floor. "Didn't you ever ask yourself, what's up with this candle stick over there?" It was one of those old candle sticks, used in a time where electricity was just a dream people had. Josh grabbed after the candle, pulling it forward and after a dull noise followed, a wooden plank of the wall was separated from the others. Josh gripped after it and opened a small door, leading into another hallway. "This is quite small." - "Yeah... follow me!", Josh said, pulling out a flashlight. "How long is this floor?", Chris asked and Josh enlightened it. It was quite long, leading to some stairs. "Wanna go first?", Josh asked, but Chris shook his head. After a few moments they reached the end of the floor. "And now?", Chris asked, seeing Josh pushing against a platform, sticking into the wall. Another dull noise followed and a little light fell into the floor. Josh left the hallway and they stood in a little room, looking like the one in the library. "Now, watch and learn.", Josh said, while he pushed a board of the wall he was standing against. It turned in it's own angle and Josh could slip easily into the other room. Chris did the same and as he arrived at the other side, he was standing right in his sleeping room, in a corner which was partly covered by his wardrobe. That was the reason why he didn't hear Josh coming within the night. The house made almost everytime some noises. He was aware of that, but he never even thought it was coming right from the walls because there was another room, he didn't know. "This is unbelievable.", he said. "I know... but it's good to know what's going on in these walls, isn't it?" Chris nodded his head and took a deep breath.

It was already getting dark outside. Chris took his time and sat on the couch, trying to get a connection with his smartphone. "We really have to get some connection here. Goddamnit!" - "What are you doing?", Josh asked, sitting right beside him, a box of chips in his hands. "I'm trying to get some information about a flat near college." Josh raised his eyebrows, looking at the screen of Chris' phone. "Any results?", he asked, sticking a chip into his mouth. "No, not until yet. The connection is too bad at the moment." Josh took the phone out of Chris' hands. "Wha-What...", Chris replied, but Josh just put the phone on the table. "I guess, we can use our time better, even this is a good topic, you should go on with, if we're home again.", he said, leaning to his brother, embrancing him in a goofy way. "Oh Josh... I'm so tired!" - "You're 19 years old, you're not tired at this age.", he retorted, pushing Chris down on the couch. Chris sighed, looking over to Josh, who laid between his legs, placing his chin on his fist. "And now?", he asked. Josh smiled at him. "Maybe I've got an idea...", he said and Chris cocked his head. "You don't even have to do something. I would make all the efforts." - "What do you mean?" Josh bit on his tongue, he looked as he was thinking about something very clearly, just didn't know how to say. "What if you're giving me a chance of atonement?" Chris view was still asking. "I know I hurt you the first time and you had the option to try it yourself. I mean... I want to show you I can be gentle too." Chris tried to think about it. On one side, he hadn't the urge to have sex with Josh, but on the flipside, it would be great to be pampered up again. The leading role was great, but sometimes it was just nice to get a little treatment. "Hmm... and you want that right now?", he asked him, slightly smirking. Josh just bit on his lower lip, looking to another direction. "Maybe?", he said, fumbling at the fabric of Chris' shirt. "Hmmm...", Chris had fun, leaving him on a dangle. "I just hope I don't fall asleep meanwhile." - "I'll take care of that!", Josh answered, stretching up to Chris, giving him a kiss.

They changed to Chris' sleeping room again, because it was just a comfortable zone. Chris' bed was big enough and everything they needed was there. They started it slow, pulling off their clothes, one from another, just leaving on their shorts. Chris laid back, let Josh do all the work, right as he wanted. Sure he was a little scared, but he was also sure about that his psyche would give it a rest, if Josh was just carefull enough. The brunette started with soft kisses, leaving them on Chris' chest and at the crook of his neck. As Josh kissed his way down to Chris' happy trail, he closed his eyes, just enjoying the things Josh did to him. As he pulled down Chris' shorts, he was looking down, turned on at the view of Josh, who stroked him carefully at first, getting a grip around his dick and licking over its tip. He let out a small moan, then a hissing noise as Josh took him into his mouth. It felt so warm and all the sounds made by Josh helped him a lot to calm down himself. He clenched his teeth as he noticed Josh sucking on him, driving him crazy. Josh took his time and that was good for Chris to get his feelings managed, even if he just wanted to feel, instead of thinking about it with his mind.

Josh had learned from Chris. This time he prepared his boyfriend exactly the way as it should be and Chris enjoyed Joshs touch, how he moved his fingers into him. As he entered his entrance with one finger, he had the urge to stop him, but soon realized that everything was okay. He crossed a point where his mind shut down, this feeling was just overwhelming for him. A few moments after Josh added a second finger, he brushed over a certain point inside Chris, what made him shivering. He squinted his eyes, opened his mouth to let out a sound, but it got stuck in his throat. As Josh realized what he was doing, he slowed down, sliping out and bended over his brother to kiss his neck again. "Take me... please...", Chris sighed and Josh gave him a gentle kiss, just to make eye-contact with him a moment later. "Would you help me with that?", he asked, showing Chris a condom. Without any further hesitate, Chris took the sachet between his teeth to rip it, reaching for Joshs dick to slip it on.

To make things easier, Josh tried it again by laying Chris' legs up on his shoulders, just to get the right angle to slip in. Within the whole time they had direct eye-contact and Josh pushed himself forward just very slowly so Chris could get used to the feeling. As he was halfway in, he stopped: "How is that?", he asked cautious and Chris slightly nodded his head, biting on his lips. He moved on but soon Josh felt Chris was cramping around him from one second to another. Josh noticed a short moment of fear in Chris eyes and he took a deep breath to hold everything under control. "Everything's okay... I'm here...", Josh whispered, fondling through Chris' hair. He gave him a little time and finally Chris relaxed so Josh could move on. As he sliped completely into him, Chris sighed. It felt like a relief and it finally started to feel good for him. They kissed and Josh gave his hips a few moves. His thrusts were carefully, slowly at first and Chris could let go everything what was a problem before. After a while Josh got a little faster, gasping for air and Chris mind went all fuzzy. The moan of Josh made him crazy, he just grabbed after Joshs sides, holding on to him. A short time later Josh brushed over this certain spot inside of Chris, he forgot everything else around him. He couldn't hold onto himself and let out a strangled cry, pressing his head into the pillow. "Come for me, Chris... Come... Come with me...", Josh begged him, provoking another cry from his brother, while rubbing further over his special point inside. It was so intense, Chris just saw stars in front of his eyes, feeling numb at his lips. One moment he was scared he would faint, but the other his climax released this tense, leaving his body like a wave of shivers and Josh was bending over him, kissing him passionately, reaching his own peak.

Chris' breathing was still unstable as Josh laid down beside him, cleaning himself up. "I almost fainted... Shit!", Chris said and Josh looked over to him. "Really?", he asked, while Chris rubbed over his eyes. "Yeah. Everything feels still dizzy.", Chris replied. It took some more minutes until he was able to clean up himself. After that he pulled over the blanket and Josh crawled to him, laying his head on his chest. "I love you so much!", he mumbled and Chris embraced him with one arm. "I love you too!", he responded, stroking over Joshs jawline. He stretched up to Chris and they shared another kiss.


	15. Natural desire and Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a shitty name of the chapter... XD
> 
> Hey everyone! I hope you'll have fun with this chapter. It was fun to write, but I have to admit, it's not usual I'm writing something like this... ;) But as I said - It was fun... ;)
> 
> I would love to read you in the comments again. Time flies... Have fun! :)

Saturday started with a big bang by Josh falling off of the bed. Chris woke up, his stomach cramped up because he was surprised as hell. "Awwww... my head...", he heard Joshs voice, slightly shattered and he looked down on the floor, seeing almost a shit without his glasses. "What happened?", Chris asked, still half-asleep and Josh stood up, crawling back into the bed. "My sleep was that deep I didn't even realize I was falling out of the bed, right onto my head." This sounded that ridiculous, Chris started giggling. "Don't laugh at me, it really hurt!", Josh said, rubbing his head. Chris moaned, pulling his brother into a tight hug. "Poor thing you...", he was nuzzling into his neck, embracing him with both of his arms from behind. "Just get back to sleep. Everything will be okay..." Josh sighed, brushing over Chris' arm, closing his eyes. 

Chris opened one eye again, blinking at the clock. It was almost five in the morning. He had the scent of Josh in his nose, a slight smell of shower gel, mixed up with sweat. Clearly he smelled like sex and finally Chris knew what this meant if somebody descriped this special scent in particular. Out of a feeling he bit in Joshs ear pushing him tight against him. "What are you doing?", Josh asked, noticing Chris running down his side with a hand. "Dunno, but your scent is driving me insane...", he replied. They weren't even awake that much, but the atmosphere was clear for both of them. "Wanna fuck me or what?", Josh murmured with a raspy voice, responsed with a slight push from Chris against his ass. Josh took Chris' hand off his hip, leading it to his stomach, pushing it down to his dick. "Fuck me, Chris...", he whispered with a longing voice, making Chris to bite into his shoulder. It wasn't that strong, but strong enough Josh had to moan. "You want me to fuck you?", Chris murmured, his voice still sleepy but straight turned on. "Yeah...", Josh replied, biting onto his lower lip as Chris gripped around him, giving his hand a few slow moves. "Do you like it if I touch you there?" Josh was already hard, but Chris used the moment, to stimulate him just more. "Seems like you're already dripping, Josh... You naughty little boy." Joshs body was shivering, he sighed, begging him: "Don't stop... please!" - "Oh, I won't!", Chris whispered, thrilled by the situation and the words coming out of his mouth: "I'll gonna make you scream, until you beg me to stop!" He didn't take his hand away from Josh, but reached for a condom with his other hand as Josh stopped him. "Don't!", he pleaded and Chris looked at him. For a short moment Chris thought he had screwed everything, until Josh turned his head to make eye-contact. "I want you in a whole!", he said, leaving a slight smile on Chris' lips.

Chris just used some lube for himself to get prepared and pushed Josh down to the bed, bending over him from behind. After placing a few kisses on Joshs back and neck, Chris entered his entrance, but just a little bit, before he pulled out again. He played with Josh and he realized seducing him made him just more arousing. "Your cute little ass is damn tight, do you know that?", he asked, stretching Josh further more with his little game. Josh moaned, obviously enjoying what Chris did to him. While bending over him, Chris whispered in his ear: "I know you're thinking of me fucking you through the whole day, aren't you?" Meanwhile he started to move his hips, now pushing deeper into him and Josh closed his eyes, responsed with a strangeled sound of salvation, trying to reach Chris to kiss him. The blonde stopped moving, gave his boyfriend a kiss and pulled him onto his legs. Josh leaned against him, placed his head on Chris' shoulder, who stroked over Joshs chest, up to his throat. Chris went on with slight moves, listening to the noises they made while moving. "You hear that?", he whispered to Josh, who was gasping for air. "I love those sounds we're making while fucking!" On one side Chris was making Josh going insane with dirty talk, on the flipside, he was gentle, embracing him with one arm around his chest, while covering Josh's throat with the other hand, kissing him on his temples and the crook of his neck. As Josh laid his hands up to Chris' waist, he thrusted harder into him, pushing him forward, down to the bed again. Josh started to groan and Chris heard at the sound of his groan, that he found this special spot inside of Josh, what would make him come, if he wouldn't be carefull enough. But he didn't want Josh to come yet, so he slowed down his moves, pulling himself almost completely out, leaning over Josh again. "Don't you dare to come before I allow you to." - "Ahhh, Chris... please..." - "You like this a little too much, aren't you?", he asked him with this deep raspy voice, thrusting into him for once, brushing his sensitive spot again and Josh cried out. "Aren't you?" This time his voice was demanding. "I am!", Josh answered, but Chris wasn't satisfied. "I can't hear you!" - "I love it if you fuck me like this!", Josh willingly cried out. "You're such a good boy!", Chris whispered, grabbing Josh by his hips. "Oh god... I... I can't hold it...", Josh moaned a few moments later. He was panting, while Chris bit onto his lips, moving unsteady because he noticed, he wasn't that far away from his own peak either. Within the last moments before he came, he leaned down, thrusting further into Josh, while embracing him with one arm again. "Come to me now... come with me...", he stuttered and both of them reached their climax, Josh turned his head, looping an arm around Chris' neck to kiss him.

From one moment to another this tense was gone, no further dirty talk, it was just satisfaction what fulfilled them, after laying down on the matress. Chris opened his eyes first, looking at Josh, who looked back then. "I'm sorry!", Chris mumbled, touching Joshs nose with his own, while holding his position, until these first waves of shivers passed. "For what?", Josh replied, slightly grinning. "For what I said... all of this..." - "Shut up, I liked it!" - "You did?", Chris was wondering. "Yeah... kinda..." Chris chuckled, giving his brother another kiss on his lips. "The weekend finally reached the point I wished for.", Josh said and Chris was looking at him, his eyes halfway closed. "What do you mean? Me, fucking you into the matress, saying stupid things while ruining the sheets completely?", he answered and Josh laughed. "No, honestly. I know, what you mean.", Chris added. In his mind he was happy, but there was this thought this was the last day they would be alone, just the two of them. Tomorrow they would drive home. But he already had something in mind how to go on with everything.

Chris was the first who woke up again after they fell asleep after they had sex. Josh was still interlaced with him, his nose was sticking to Chris' chest, while his arms embraced him tightly. Chris started to stroke over Joshs neck, while sticking his own nose into Joshs hair. He felt so good, relaxed and content. He never ever wanted to leave this bed again. Josh moaned as he woke up, just pulling Chris tighter. Everything was a little slippery and Chris felt like his mind was turned off since yesterday, he was already hard again. "Oh no, not again...", he murmured, while Josh gripped after him, but he grabbed for Joshs wrist. "Don't... I... I can't...", Chris responsed and Josh looked up to him. "Seems like your dick is speaking a different language.", he said with a grin on his face. "I know, but... what about taking a bath and stick these sheets into the washing machine?", he said, while Josh touched him with his fingertips. "You can take me sitting on the washing machine if you like and then taking a bath.", Josh whispered. "You're impossible Josh!" As good as the situation felt, he had to get up, eat something, clean himself up. "You know what?", he said. "I'll go get some food and you're going into the bathroom, turning the water on. I'm so pining for a wash now, okay?" Josh let go off of him, sighed. "Okay, if you want to, I'll go for it.", he replied. Chris stood up and didn't even made an effort to put on some shorts or else. He went over to the kitchen, taking some fruit and a plate, added a glass of marmelade out of the fridge and some slices of bread. It wasn't necessary to get everything usual for breakfast, but he had the straight urge to eat something because he felt exhausted.

Some minutes later the washing machine was running and they joined the bathroom, the tub was almost full. The hot water relaxed Chris immediatly, so he leaned back, enjoying the heat around him. They made themselves comfortable and after a few minutes Chris reached for some bread, dipping it into the marmelade. "You call that breakfast?", Josh asked him. Chris chewed on his bread with pleasure, even if he wasn't somebody who ate marmelade that often. "I'm just damn hungry, that's all.", he replied. "And I was too lazy to make any efforts, so..." He took a deep breath: "Would you like some grapes, a strawberry or... marmelade?" Josh just grinned dirty at him and Chris chuckled. "I have to watch out for what I'm saying you're taking almost everything in a sexual way, aren't you?" Josh lowered his sight, then he looked back at Chris. But soon Josh was bending over him, reaching for a few grapes and gave Chris a short kiss on his mouth, before he leaned back again, eating. 

"Actually I wanted to talk to you.", Chris started, looking over to Josh. "What's this about?", he replied, his sight asking and thoughtful. "I wanted to talk to you because... let's say beside our activities this weekend I'm thinking about this thing with the flat near university." - "Yeah..." - "What were you thinking about how long we have to wait to work this out?" Josh shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. I just know that I want to do that, you know? Until I talked to you about it I didn't even know you would want it too." - "Okay...", Chris said, looking through the air, sticking another grape in his mouth. "I just say, I don't believe I'll get it managed to stay at home for long anymore. As much as I love everybody and our family. I can't live with this 'hide and seek' procedures." He lowered his eyes, directly sharing a gaze with Josh. "I don't want this anymore!" - "I agree with that!", Josh said as it was absolutely obvious. "But, what are we gonna tell mom and dad? I mean... first I'm against having a car and now I wanna move out, together with you." Josh was thinking. "Look... We're driving almost one hour everyday from home to university and back. I think that is reason enough to get a flat for us." - "That's a point...", Chris replied. "So we're gonna do this if we're home again?", Josh asked and Chris nodded his head. "I'll research tomorrow evening, maybe I can get some good offers. Maybe it's useful to use the Bulletin Board at the university. That's another idea I had." - "When we're gonna tell mum and dad?", Josh responsed. "As soon as possible. Just let me do some research so we can convince them with some proper information about it." - "Okay!" 

Josh changed his corner of the tub and came over to Chris, leaning against him. As he laid his chin on Chris shoulder, Chris gave him a peck on his forehead. "I'm so happy to be here with you." Josh mumbled and Chris smiled at him. "Me too." After another moment Josh asked: "What else are we gonna do today?" Chris took a deep breath, looked at him and smiled. "I guess we have to clean up the lodge, packing our things and maybe we'll have some time to rest on the couch... or even in bed.", he replied. "Think about it, you'll need your energy tomorrow if we'll drive home." Josh rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I know...", he said. Chris embraced him with one arm. "I'll cook something later and prepare everything we can leave tomorrow morning. As sooner we're home, the quicker I can do a research for the flat."

After they finished their bath, they put on some clothes, changing to the living room. Everything should be clean if they would leave the lodge. Josh handled the laundry afterwards, while Chris was in the kitchen, making some dinner and preparing some food for the next day. It wasn't stressing, because he had plenty of time, but with his thoughts he was somewhere else. The flat would be a change, but that was good. The only problem he saw, were these lies, he and Josh would tell their parents. Was it already possible to find a solution which was okay for all? Because all he knew was the fact, one day it would be revealed that Josh and him were in a relationship. He was scared about this, but on the other hand he tried to ignore it.

The dinner was nice and with filled bellys they laid on the couch, watching TV. Josh zapped through the channels while Chris was busy with his smartphone. "Still busy with the research?", Josh asked, but Chris shook his head. "No, the internet connection is too slow here, even GPS is fucked up. I just have one point for the phone connection, god bless..." Staring at its screen, it lit up and Beths name showed up, before it started to rang. "Hello?", Chris answered the call. "Hey Chris." - "What's up?", he asked. "Are you okay?", she responsed. "Yeah, why not?" He looked over to Josh with an asking expression. "I'm just calling, because it seems something is happening what you both should know!" There was it again - This uncomfortable feeling in his stomach, everything was blown off. "What do you mean?" - "Mom was searching clothes around the house for the laundry and she was in Joshs and your bedroom." - "Okay..." Chris was confused. His room was 'clean'. No porn magazines, lube or used condoms. He even deleted the porn folder on his computer before he left - like everytime - So what was the problem? - "I don't know what our brother thought about that, but she found a really interesting letter in his room - in the garbage - , telling he would commit suicide if his life wouldn't change. She's so worried now but too anxious to call you." - "What?!?", Chris asked, looking over to Josh. "Wait a second, I'll turn on the speakers." He pushed the button. "Say it again, please. Josh is here." - "Josh are you insane? What's this fucking letter in your garbage about?" Chris saw Joshs face went pale and he knew exactly what she was talking about. "Say something!", Chris said and Josh was just speechless, looking at Chris and the phone. "Beth?", Chris said. "Yeah?", his sister answered. "I'll call you back in half an hour. Tell mom everything is okay, I'll manage this." - "Okay! Bye!" - "Bye!", Chris said and hung up.

"Are you serious?", Chris snaped at him. "You're ruining everything what we're planning with this letter! You'll tell me what this was about, for fucks sake!" Josh avoided his sight, his eyes drowning in tears. "I was just... I was desperate and wrote this shit... It was in the garbage, it wasn't even supposed to be found by anyone I swear!" - "You're completely out of your mind, bro! You can't leave the garbage in your room if you're planning to be away from home while you're parents there! The fuck... What else was written down in this letter beside what Beth was talking about?" - "What exactly do you know?" - "This isn't important, I want to know everything from you now!" Josh bit on his lips. "TELL ME!", Chris demanded and it had to be serious, telling by Joshs expression. "Everything..." - "What do you mean, everything?" - "Everything! That I love you for three goddamn years, that I'm gay and I'm desperate and don't know what to do! I wrote it in a situation where I didn't know what you're thinking... as I avoided every contact with you! And threw it away after we cleared things out!" Chris felt like he wanted to throw up. This was changing everything.


	16. Honesty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the new chapter. I hope you like it. :)
> 
> IMPORTANT: To make things interesting now - The question is - and I'm asking YOU: How should I go on with this? I've got two ideas:
> 
> 1\. The first one is made of a smooth line which could follow, Problems aren't that hard to manage. 
> 
> 2\. The other one is a little bit harder and provides some new problems, but also a little angst, maybe mental problems...
> 
> Tell me in the comments, what you would like to read more! ;) I'll see what I can do! Would love to read your opinion! ;) - Who wants can also answer on my tumblr account via askbox!
> 
> But now have fun with the new chapter! :)

He had to talk to Beth again because Josh didn't say any single word anymore, so he called her. "Hello?" - "Yeah, it's me again." - "Gosh Chris..." - "What exactly is it that mum told you about it?", he asked. "She just told us, Hannah and me, that she found this letter, written by Josh and where he's telling he would commit suicide. Nothing more." - "Okay, I know something more what's written in this letter." - "What is it?" - "Everything... Everything what I told you in the guest cabin." - "Oh my god...", Beth answered. "The letter wasn't supposed to be found. Josh wrote this letter at a time even I didn't know about his love for me." - "Shit!" A moment of silence followed. "Until now she's still thinking Josh is going insane. She doesn't know about you two.", Beth said. "Yeah, but she isn't dumb. If she's thinking about the last days and the one she caught me with Josh in bed one morning - whereas I don't believe she saw him - she'll get a clue and the desaster is perfect." - "You're probably right." - "Did mum already told dad about it?" - "No, dad left early today, he's at work and will come home tomorrow again to get his car back." - "Good!" - "Why?" - "I'm gonna call her!" - "What?!?", Beth replied and Josh lifted his head, because even him didn't know about what was going on in Chris' mind. "I'm gonna call her and tell her everything." - "Chris, if you do that..." - "What actually could happen? Do you think she will throw me out of the house or what?" - "No, but..." - "You all know we've got a very close relationship with each other. Maybe I can talk to her." - "Yeah, but not on the phone Chris!" Beth was right, but he had to drive almost six hours to get back home. "Okay, Plan B - We'll drive home, now!" - "Seriously?" - "Do you even think I can sleep knowing she's upset about everything?" - "But..." - "No! I'll get this managed and I don't want this to turn out bad, okay? It's bad enough already." - "Okay! But watch out for yourselves okay?" - "No worries!" - "Then see ya later. Tell mum we're coming, okay?" - "Okay, bye." - "Bye!" He hung up, looking over to Josh. "Get your stuff, we're driving home now." - "Do you really think this is a good idea?" Chris shrugged his shoulders. "How would I know? Everything seems fucked up right now and you know how things work, if there's too much time to think about. Just imagine, mum is searching over our rooms or whatever... If she has too much time, she's getting ideas. I don't wanna cook up a story, but we have to limit the damage, okay?"

One hour later they sat in the car, being on their way home. "Do you really have a plan?", Josh asked and Chris took a deep breath. "To be honest, I don't know how to start all this. The problem is, I'm not even involved if she's just upset because you wanted to kill yourself! The next problem is, I'm involved either, because I'm the reason you wanted to kill yourself. And why you're not killing yourself... This means, I'm automatically the person who's responsible for this shit... So I just hope she'll listen to me and we'll get this managed, but you have to help me!" - "How?" - "By listening to me! If I beg you to leave the room, you have to leave the room!" - "But why?" - "Because it's me, who's got the good connection to her! And sometimes it's easier to talk just with the person with the good connection, you know?" Josh nodded. "I just hope, we can work this out. Somehow." - "I'm not that worried about the thing that you wrote you're gay. Not even that you're in love with me. I think the hardest part for her is the fact, you didn't tell anyone. But I understand why you did this, you didn't even had the guts to tell me in the first place." To face reality was hard to take. "We'll see... just let us drive home first. I hope you're awake enough." - "If I'm getting tired we have to stop so I can breathe some fresh air and get a coffee... That'll do it." - "Okay!"

They arrived home in five and a half hours. Josh didn't fall asleep. They didn't even had to take a break. To strong was this urge to talk to their mother. As they arrived home, the lights within the house were still on. In front of the door Chris stopped, taking a deep breath. "We'll get through this! Everything will be okay!", he said, almost to himself, but he gave Josh a good feeling with it, because he said it in a confident voice. Then Josh opened the door and Chris entered the house, Josh went after him. The floor was dark and he put out his jacket, placing it on the stairs to move forward. As he arrived the living room, his mother was sitting on the couch, a coffee in front of her on the table and a box of tissues beside the cup. And on the middle of the table a crumbled piece of paper - The letter! As she looked up, Chris tried to calm her down with a glance but he saw she wasn't even angry. She was just goddamn worried and as Josh showed up at the door, it felt for Chris like taking a load of his mind. "Thank god you're here. Both of you!", she said, but she was still worried. She stood up, coming over to the boys, taking each of them into her arms. "Mum...", Chris said. "I guess we have to talk!" - "Yeah, it seems so.", she answered and they changed over to the couch.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?", she asked Josh directly and Chris was looking at him, because he didn't response at first. "Tell her...", he said and Josh was looking at her, didn't know how to start. "I was so scared about everything mum. I couldn't." - "I always knew you're different from other boys of your age, but I didn't even believe it would be that simple." - "What do you mean?", he asked in response as she said that. "That you're gay. It isn't a crime, boy. You could've told me!" - "Yeah, but being in love with my own brother isn't really easy to take... and... I was confused. In a really bad way." - "Right, but this isn't an excuse to write something down like this! To kill yourself!" Now she was a little bit angry, but just for the cause. "Mum... calm down." - "Did you know something about that?", she asked Chris, who begged her to stop. He bit on his lips. "Not until today... I mean... about the letter." - "You knew he's gay?", she replied and Chris nodded his head after a moment of thought. "Did you know, he had these feelings for you?" This wasn't going as Chris had planned. He bit on his lips again, avoiding her sight and nodded his head again. "Unbelievable.", she said. "Is there anything I don't know about you yet?", she asked Chris directly and he cleared his throat. "Actually... yes...", he replied. "And that is?" Chris looked over to Josh for a short moment, then back to his mother. "Well, I'm... I'm not gay, but... Our feelings are equal, if you would like to put on a label." - "And this means what?", she asked further. This situation wasn't far from getting out of control, Chris thought. He squinted his eyes, because he suspected his mother was going to be very angry, if he would answer her question truthfully. "We're in a relationship!" For a short moment there was just silence, then she looked over to Josh. "Did you force him to do so?", she asked. "Mum... he hasn't!", Chris said. Melinda looked at them, then she said: "I guess I need a scotch right now!"

The atmosphere was kinda awkward, but after Melinda got a scotch and took a sip, she looked over to Chris. "How long..?", she asked. "Almost three, up to four weeks." Her sight went over to Josh. She wasn't angry at all, but her expression was worried, nevertheless. "Why is it, that you both gorgeous kids are going to make things difficult?", she said. "What do you mean?", Josh asked. "You both are so good looking young men, I bet you wouldn't have any problem getting a girl. Okay, you're gay... or bisexual. Whatever, not important... But why do you have to fall in love with your own brother?", she replied to Josh. "I guess you can't choose who do you love or not.", he responsed. This was quite a good point for Chris to say something: "Look mum, we're as surprised as you with all of this. And we don't want to make somebody uncomfortable or else. I know this is coming straight away now, but we had some discussions within the last days and we're going to get a flat for ourselves. Our relationship won't change, we're just getting our own dorm." - "You planned everything already?", she said, looking at both of them. "We're not planning, but I wanted to do some research first. It would be a benefit for all of us." - "I guess I don't have to say that, but you're going to have some problems if somebody will be aware of the relationship of yours." - "We're not even real brothers, mum. It's not illegal." - "I know... but I'm worried about you because of society. You know how this is... how people are!" Chris and Josh shared a glance. "You can't even marry if you want to!" Chris chuckled: "It's a bit early to talk about something like that, mum." He was surprised - in a good way - that she was talking about everything like that. And he knew it was right to be honest. In some kinda way he was sure, they would manage everything, even if it was hard.

She took a deep breath, looking at her watch. "It's quite late boys. I guess we have to talk tomorrow about everything. My mind isn't clear anymore, I need some sleep. I'm just happy you're home again and everything is - however - okay!" - "I just have one request mum!", Chris said. "Please, don't tell dad yet..." - "Do you think I'm crazy? First we have to talk again. But don't worry... I won't tell dad yet, if this is calming your mind.", she replied. "Good..." They stood up. "And... I guess it's obvious everyone of you is sleeping in his own bedroom tonight, or do I have to explain that?", she added. Both of them shook their head.

"Night Josh...", Chris said as they arrived at the stairs. "Night...", Josh replied. They both were to afraid to kiss the other because of the recent situation, but they knew, everything would going to be okay. - Somehow! Josh went upstairs, Chris had to use the bathroom. As he left it a few minutes later, his mother was still sitting in the livingroom. "Didn't you say you would go to bed, mum?", he said, sticking his head into the room. "Yeah...", she said, her sight still worried. "Goodnight then mum..." - "Wai-wait... Come here...", she said in a low voice and Chris was asking himself what she wanted. "Did you already...", she asked. Chris expression was insecure. She didn't ask him if they had sex already, was she? "What do you... mean?", he replied. She bit on her lips. "Did you... and him..." She wasn't going to be explicit, but she really asked him what he already suspected. Chris couldn't help it, but he was slightly smirking: "Mum, you know I'm a thoughtful young man and I'm aware of condoms and everything what's up with them, don't you?", he said and she sighed. "And I'm not going to tell you, if there was anything or not, because situation is already hard enough for everybody, okay? I don't want to throw things at you, you're going to be worried about more. But be sure - If there is something or was - I'm careful!" In a strange way this was answer enough for her. "I should know if I'm asking you something like this, you would be honest to me, even if I don't like the answer.", she said. "I love you mum... whatever has happened or will happen, be aware of that!", he added. "I love you too, son!"

Being in his own sleepingroom was kinda surreal for Chris. He laid on his bed, he was thinking. How would this thing gonna end up? He wanted to talk to Josh, but he wasn't even able to talk to his sister, who didn't show up after they arrived home. Then his phone lit up, showing an incoming message from Beth. "I heard what you were talking with mum." He replied: "So...?" - "I think I couldn't have made it better myself." - "What do you think? Is she gonna help us?" - "I don't know, but she didn't react that hard like I expected." Then a message from Josh showed up: "I don't know how this shit works but... I love you and I'm happy you're my brother and my boyfriend. I couldn't have a better one." His message made Chris' happy and he smiled to himself. "I love you too bro. I wish you could be with me now. I miss you, even if there's just a wall between us." Being alone was strange after those nights, entwined with Josh cuddling, having sex within the night... His life had changed... for the better. Even if there were some problems. But he was sure, everything would be cleared up within the next days. It must!

It was his phone what didn't let him sleep. After one hour of trying falling into a doze, Josh wrote a message: "I can't sleep!" Chris had to put on his glasses, because he didn't even saw what he wrote. "I try... but I can't either." - "I miss you by my side, breathing, smelling your scent... touching me." - "Me too, but you can't come here. It just causes trouble." - "I wish we could just make out now, done in ten minutes." - "Josh!" - "What bro? I'm horny as fuck and I can't get rid of it." - "Tried to do it yourself?" - "Yeah... not just once I have to admit." These was one of those situations Chris didn't want anymore, but it was also amusing to read Joshs messages. "What if I help you?", he wrote. "You mean..." - "Can't write with one hand?" - "You're serious?" - "Just imagine I was there, touching your dick, stroking it until it's hard." Within the next moment he heard a crack from the other side of the wall. He knew, Joshs bed was aching, he knew that sound. "I'm leaning over you, licking over the tip, taking you slighty into my mouth." Sometimes he was mad about his good sense of hearing, but Josh slightly moaned beneath the wall and Chris knew it was good what he was doing. "Just the tip of it... you can feel me sucking on you, driving you insane." Chris was always good with words, but he never even did such a conversation like this. His words were thoughtful and he imagined what he would like to read in such a situation. "My hands are running over your inner thights while I let you slide deeper into my mouth. Can you hear these slight smacking sounds?" He heard a strangled noise from Josh and bit on his own lips. This situation didn't leave him cold and he had the urge to touch himself. "Gosh Josh, you're tasting so good... My moves are going faster, I'm grabbing for your hand." Joshs sigh was quite hearable through the wall and Chris knew it wouldn't take that long anymore. "Come on Josh... give it to me... Now!" It was the sound of pleasured ease, coming from the other side of the wall. The bed was aching again and a few moments later Josh wrote back: "Dear god, I never knew words could be that intense." - "Right... Think you can sleep now?" - "I better... Thank you dear!" 

Chris laid back his glasses and phone on the nightstand. To get himself a little pleasure was easy. It wasn't the same as Josh would touch him, but his imagination helped him to get rid of the pressure between his legs. He rather had Josh sitting on his lap than stroking himself, but for him it was okay. It just took him up to five minutes until he reached his climax, but couldn't restrain a little moan as he came. After he had cleaned up himself, his phone lit up. "Next time I'll do it myself again, Cochise! ;)", Josh wrote. "I just hope so!", Chris wrote back, knowing that Josh was aware of what he did. He just smirked and fell into a doze short after.


	17. Hide and Seek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First: Thank you very much for all of your feedback! I guess I know what I'll do with this fiction. :) You'll see. I'm doing research already. It will be bad, not too bad, because I don't wanna write too much about anything what I'm not aware of (especially with mental issues you can make many mistakes), but I think I found a good thing... We'll see. :)
> 
> By the way: Would it be nice, if I add a playlist of songs I'm hearing while writing a chapter, so you'll get a better feeling while reading? - Just asking. :)
> 
> This chapter will be a little bit calm, but I hope you like it. :)
> 
> Looking forward to your feedback! Remember: Askbox on tumblr is - like always - open! ;)
> 
> Thank you very much! ;)

The other morning as Chris woke up, it was still quiet in the house. He looked over to the clock, it was almost 7 am. He rubbed over his eyes, taking his glasses, remembering what happened yesterday. This day wouldn't be easy either. They had to talk to their mother again. But what about Hannah and Beth? The girls would be there. And how would everything turn out? He got up and put on some clothes, before he went over to the computer. After starting the system he waited until he got access to the internet. His way led straight to the homepage of his college. The bulletin board was always online, at least a part of it. But this time he had no luck. Just little announcements for part-time jobs or else, but no flat.

On his way downstairs he smelled coffee, so he wasn't awake alone. As he entered the kitchen his mother sat in front of the newspapers, reading them, while drinking a cup of coffee. "Hey mum...", he said, sitting across of her at the table. "Good morning, hun." - "How was your sleep?", he asked, but she shook her head. "I didn't sleep a single minute. I was too lost in thoughts about everything." Chris sighed, leaning back on his chair. She looked at him, she was so worried, Chris noticed. "You know... There's a single thing I'm asking me." - "And this is?", he replied. "Do you both take this relationship seriously? - Isn't it just a kind of... trying new things out? Are you testing, how far you can go, or anything else?" Chris expression was calm, he didn't want to make a big fuss out of it, so he was just honest: "Mum... I already asked myself this a dozen times after Josh was talking to me, saying that he loves me, more than a normal brother. And I... I tried to resist, because I thought this isn't right. And I failed - miserably! It is the first time I'm feeling loved. With all of my flaws, my choices and my mind. I feel completely safe with Josh." - "And he feels the same? What do you think?" - "If he already's thinking about commit suicide because he couldn't live with this situation, I would say he's serious." 

She paused for a moment, looking at Chris. There was something in her mind what Chris didn't know and he noticed that. "What's going on in your mind, mum?" - "I'm just worried about everything. That's all.", she said and Chris laid a hand on hers. "Everything will be okay. And you don't have to be worried. We're getting all this managed. I'll go and search a flat for us. If you don't pay it, I'll go, get a job. I dunno, whatever. For me it's just important I don't have to handle this secretly in front of you. If dad doesn't know, that's okay for me - for now. But for me it's important, that Josh and I belong together and I'll do everything we can be together." A second later she was looking at him with an expression, he couldn't describe. "Christopher... Be carefull." - "I am. As I said, yesterday, mum." - "This isn't just about sex Christopher. Be carefull with Josh." He lowered his eyebrows, because he didn't know how to take what she said. "What do you mean? I... I don't understand." She bit on her lips, like she was thinking about how to say it. "Joshua always had been a boy with an unstable mind. Once he was talking about something completely excited. The other day it was like this never happened. As we adopted you, he was difficult to handle. He didn't like you in the first place." - "Mum, he was a kid. He didn't know or was aware of what he did." - "Yeah, but..." She avoided his sight for a short time, then she was looking again at him. "Within some situations I had in mind, there's something wrong with this kid." - "Mum!", Chris responsed. He never had the feeling something was wrong with Josh. Of course, they had some problems within their past and indeed, Josh didn't like him as a kid. But these times were finally over.

"I'm just worried! I love you both, with every piece of my heart. And on one side I'm glad, I won't have to deal with a daughter-in-law I don't like, but...", she said and Chris chuckled. "Mum, don't take everything too serious. Josh and I are gonna find out, how everything works. And if I have a question or else, I'll come to you, okay? I just want to handle everything well and everyone is okay with it." - "Okay.", she said. "So... if we're already here: When do you plan to move out?", she asked. In her voice were still these worries, but it was a big step forward, she asked him about the flat. "Honestly I don't know. I'll do some research and maybe we'll find a flat soon, which is on low-cost and then we'll see." - "Okay... I'll talk to your father about that. Because it would be easier for you both to share this flat because of the long way to college." Chris was wondering because she said the same thing as Josh. "Even I am aware of the long time you have to drive to college, Chris. And if this isn't a reason to move out, what's it then?", she said and gave him a little smile. "Thank you mum! Thank you!", he answered. He didn't want to ask her about sharing a room with Josh as long they would live still at home, but she came ahead of him: "By the way - I won't forbid you two to have a sleepover, like you used to in the past. But I'll beg you: Don't get caught, if your father is around and... lock-up the door for fucks sake." Chris lifted his eyebrows, he was really surprised. "Okay.", he said and she stood up. "Some coffee?", she asked and he nodded his head.

A moment later she gave him the cup: "Mum.." - "Yes, sweetie?", she asked. "Mum, there's something else I have to tell you..." She looked worried almost instantly. "What is it this time?" - "I know, she's going mad at me, but... Beth knows about Josh and me." - "What?", she replied. "She knew it... since we were at the guest cabin at Blackwood to clean it up." - "And Hannah?" - "She doesn't know." She took another sip of her coffee. "And I would prefer to keep it that way." She was looking at him and sighed. "I already knew you and your sisters have a special kind of connection... especially you and Beth." - "You did?" - "Yes... She was always the one, who punished Josh for bullying you.", she replied. "And now I know why she called you almost instantly after I found this letter. That was one of those things I didn't understand, you know?" Chris nodded his head, taking a sip of his coffee. "I want to stay honest with you mum. And I'm glad you're not freaking out." - "What kinda choice do I have? If I don't wanna lose you two, I have to deal with it. Whether I like it or not."

Josh was the next one who joined the kitchen. "Morning...", he said, grumpy like almost every morning. He went over to the coffee machine and got himself a cup of coffee, before he sat down near Chris. "Morning.", Chris said, looking over to him. "Hey ma...", he said after giving Chris a short smile. "I already talked to your brother.", she replied. "Good. What is it you came up to?" - "I'll talk to your father about the flat and I think everything will be okay. But I also gave your brother a few advices." - "I'll tell you later about it buddy.", Chris said. Shortly after that Beth came downstairs. "Hey... nice you're here again!", she greeted them, giving Josh a quick hug and Chris a peck on the cheek. "You! Sit!", their mother said and Beth didn't know what was happening, but she sat down beside her mother. "Is everything okay?", she asked. "Is it right you knew about those two?", she replied and Beth gave the brothers a short look, slightly confused. "Erm... yeah... I guess?", Beth answered and Melinda shook her head. "You kids are unbelievable..." She said it with a voice, they couldn't take too seriously. Beth shared a glance with Chris and Josh and Chris was slightly grinning, hiding his mug behind the coffeecup. "And... what do I have to do with that?", Beth asked her. "Cause you know what they're doing and didn't say anything." - "Oh mum... I'm not asking you what you're doing with dad, do I?", she responsed, leaving her mother speechless. "See...", she said with a smirk in her face. "Thank god Hannah doesn't know about it.", Melinda added, taking a further sip of her coffee.

After breakfast Chris changed over to his room, sitting at the computer as Josh joined him. "Hey Cochise, what are you doing?", he asked. "Close the door please." he answered, not even looking at him, but Josh did as he was told to. "Are you okay?" Josh leaned over Chris from behind while he was staring on the screen, embracing him. "I'm just looking for a flat on the local sites.", he replied and Josh gently nudged on his ear, leaving a kiss on it. "Not there... you know what'll happen if you do that!", Chris said with a smirk on his lips but Josh didn't stop. Within the next moment he was nibbling at his earlab. "What exactly was it what you and mum were talking about?", he wanted to know and Chris bit on his tongue, closed his eyes for a short moment, the noises of Joshs breath in his ear, his lips on it made him nervous. "If you stop that, I'll tell you.", he replied and Josh chuckled, leaving him. "She told me, she won't forbid us making a sleepover - like we already used to before all of that happened - but we shouldn't get caught with whatever we're doing and she said we should lock up the door." They shared a gaze and Josh gave him a kiss on his lips. "Should I lock up the door?", he almost immediatly asked and Chris grinned. "Maybe later.", he replied, further looking at him. "I love you so much!", Josh mumbled, just looking at his brother and boyfriend. "I love you too!", Chris answered and Josh gave him another kiss on his lips.

"It's the first time I'm seeing it and it makes me some kinda uncomfortable!", Beth said after entering the room and closing the door behind her. Chris and Josh had been parted just a moment ago, but Josh was still embracing his brother. Both were looking over to Beth and she came nearer. "What about knocking on the door before entering?", Josh said and got hit by Beth on his upper arm. "Jerk!", she replied, looking at Chris. "I guess it was necessary to tell mum I knew everything, wasn't it?", she asked him and Chris nodded his head. "Kinda..." - "What do you mean 'kinda'?" - "Let's say: We've been honest to each other and I thought it would be good she knows about it." - "Okay... I don't wanna make a fuss out of it, but next time you could ask me first if I'm okay with it, before you tell her." Chris was a little bit confused why it was such a problem. "Did she say something about it?" - "No, she just said, it would have been nice if I told her. But you know mum... She doesn't mean it in a bad way, but her voice is telling something else." Chris and Josh exactly knew what she was talking about. "I'm sorry!", Chris excused himself. "The thing is - You know I can't be mad with you, but I just thought I have to say that you could ask me if something like that happens again." - "Okay! I'll remember that." - "Good!", she responsed and looked over to Josh. 

It was already afternoon as their father arrived at home. Chris sat in the kitchen together with his mom who was preparing food for dinner. "Hey dear!", he said, giving his wife a peck on the cheek. "Found the way home again?", he asked Chris with a smile and he nodded his head. "Yeah, Josh drove really good. And no worries, your car is still going! Not a single scratch or something else like that", Chris said with a grin. "Good. Where are the keys?", he asked. "Josh... He's gotta have it!", Chris replied and his father left the kitchen. A few minutes later he came back, the keys in his hand. "When do you have to leave again?", Melinda asked and he replied: "Tomorrow morning. So I'll have a little time with my family." - "Nice.", she responsed, looking over to Chris. This was - nevertheless - a little sign from her, to behave themselves and Chris understood immediatly what she was thinking.

But how things are... everything came different as they planned.

Chris laid in his bed, he and Josh were writing messages after he told his brother how things work, so he could use the app properly. He didn't understand until now how his brother could be such an uninformed user of his smartphone. Until Chris told him he didn't even know how to use emojis or else. But he learned fast and now they wrote message after message, even if Chris would like to read a book but after reading one sentence over and over again he quitted, laying the book on his nightstand. "I just wanna come over - Come on!", Josh wrote, but Chris was almost eager to avoid everything. "No! If dad will caught us, everything will be a lot harder to manage, why don't you understand that?", he wrote, hearing Joshs bed creaking. He listened to what would happen next but didn't hear anything, until his door opened. Josh entered the room, closing the door behind him and locked it up. "Josh, you're gonna..." But he didn't came this far. Josh crawled on his bed on all four, just looking face-to-face at his brother. "Did you say something?", he asked, before he kissed Chris. After they parted, Chris lifted his eyebrows. "We have to be careful!" - "I know! But I want you! Now!", Josh whispered. He started to kiss Chris, reaching at his nightstand, opened the drawer and took out a condom, together with the lube. Chris already breathed heavy, saying: "Not going all the way today?" - "I don't wanna lose too much time with trivialities.", he replied, pulling on Chris' shirt to get it off of him. 

After throwing their pants on the floor, Josh leaned forward to kiss Chris again, while reaching for his dick. His moves were unsteady, a little hasty but not that uncomfortable for Chris. It didn't take long until he was ready. Josh gave him an asking look and he nodded his head. Josh sat down on Chris' knees and opened the satchet of the condom to roll if over. It was weird for Chris because until now he did this all by himself, but Josh did a good job with that. As Chris sat up to roll over with him, Josh shook his head, giving him a slight push down to the bed. He slipped a little higher, right onto Chris hips, grabbing for the lube. It just took a few drops to make everything comfortable for Josh and after lifting himself up a bit, Chris laid one hand on Joshs hip while he helped with his other to find the right position to slip in. Josh was looking at him the whole time and as he slipped in, he lowered his hips a bit, biting on his lips. Chris laid back his head, squinted his eyes and he couldn't help it, but opened his mouth and tried to avoid making any sound as Josh lowered his hips until he was completely on top of him. The moves of Josh were slowly first, just to enjoy the feeling being united with Chris again. "This feels so good...", he moaned silently and Chris sat up, embracing him with his arms, pushing him closer while kissing him. Josh moved his hips further, but just slowly. "I missed you so much, Christopher...", he whispered with a longing voice between their kisses, grabbing into the blondes hair.

After a few more moments of sharing kisses, Chris laid back again, while Josh started to move in a constant rhythm, flexing his back, so Chris hit the spot inside of Josh which made him crazy. As Joshs moves became unsteady and he leaned forward, Chris was gasping for air, he embraced his brother with his arms again, just to have a little more control. They moved along in unison, kissing each other to avoid any noises, but sometimes a silent moan slipped out. Chris felt Joshs breath in his mouth, his tongue, he tasted so good. Every little thing strenghtened the pressure in his stomach until they couldn't hold it anymore. Chris was shivering, so as Josh, but they kissed further, their moves became slowly, just Chris gave his hips a few more thrusts, but almost half-hearted. His climax brushed over his body like a nice flow, leaving a slight satisfied smile on his face while kissing Josh passionately. Chris stroked over his jawline with his thumb, laying his hand on his cheek. "I love you Josh!", he whispered and as he saw his brother giving him a beatific smile, he kissed him again.

In the aftermath Josh laid on Chris' chest while the blonde embraced him with one arm. "I don't want to go to college tomorrow.", Josh said with a quiet and calm voice. "Me neither, but we have to.", Chris said, giving Josh a peck on his forehead. "I just hope we get our flat soon... I don't wanna be alone in bed at night ever again." Chris closed his eyes, inhaling Joshs scent while sticking his nose in his hair. Josh traced a line in the middle of Chris' stomach with his finger, trying to curl up the hair of his happy trail but it was too short. They laid there for another half an hour, until Josh stood up - quite unwillingly - gave Chris another long kiss and changed over to his own sleeping room. This had to stop... Chris always had a good connection to his family. But now he was together with Josh, it was clear, that something had to change.


	18. Imperiled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for your feedback. It's always a pleasure from you people to read what you're thinking :)
> 
> So... here's the new chapter. To be clear: No, it won't stay like that. It's just the beginning and it will go on with some other problems happening. But every point of this needs time, so... This is just a little start, even if it's hard... I'm sorry!
> 
> And another note of mine: I don't know the american school system. I did some research but there could be some flaws, I'm not aware of. So please don't be mad at me, I just hope I got everything right.
> 
> Have fun with this chapter - I'm looking forward to your comments - Also on tumblr! ;)

The next day began pretty hectic. Josh overslept and Chris had to search for a book he needed in classes. "Could you give me a ride?", he asked Josh as he was looking into the room and beside all of this hectic, he was still nasty: "Of course - What about in the short break today? I'll meet you at the restrooms!" - "Josh!", Chris warned him and Josh gave him this fulfilled laugh. "Of course I can... Just hurry up, I have to be there in about 20 minutes and I'm already late." - "I just need to find this fucking book!", Chris grouched. The next moment he found it and stopped by the door, because Josh was standing in his way. "You're searching for your glasses?", he said with a grin. "No... why?" - "Good, they're already on your nose, you dip!" - "Oh Josh, for fucks sake... Let's get going!", he scolded him and they went downstairs. Their mother stood by the door: "Have a good day, boys!", she said, while Josh and Chris ran to Joshs Pick-up.

On their way to college, Chris was calming down just slowly. "This is so messed up." - "Hey, calm down. We'll be there in a few minutes. But by the way - If you want, you can meet me at the restrooms today between classes." Chris, who was still pissed at everything looked over to him. "Maybe you'll get rid of your bad mood if you have some distraction." - "I'm just happy if this day is over!" - "Hey Cochise... Let's eat something together within lunchbreak, what do you think? How's your schedule today?" - "I've got time until nine, then three lectures until eleven thirty, so that would fit." - "Good!" - "I just have to get back until half past twelve." - "When you'll be finished?" - "Two thirty, why?" Chris asked him. "I'm waiting for you after I finished, so I could give you the ride home." Chris lifted his eyebrows. "Thank you!" - "No need to. It's okay.", he said with a smile on his lips.

Before classes began, he met Sam. She was on this college too, but she had lectures in Fine Arts, so she shared some classes with Josh, but not today. "Hey, how's it going, Chris?", she said. "Pretty well I guess. You're waiting for your next lecture?" - "Yeah, I've got plenty of time. Came too early." - "Oh... I've to wait until nine." - "The party last weekend was really nice." - "Thank you. We enjoyed it too, having you with us." - "Already seen some of the others?" - "No, not until yet." But a moment later he felt a slight weight on his shoulder. "Hey Chris!", he heard Mikes voice, who was also studying here. "Hey Sam.", he said. Their conversation wasn't that long. After Sam left them, Mike asked him: "When does your lecture starts?" - "Nine... but Mike... So you're here, I've got a question for you." - "What?", he asked. "Do you know, where I can get... you know..." Mike narrowed his eyes, didn't know what this was leading to. "... I don't know how to say it!" - "Weed?", Mike replied, but Chris shook his head. "No, no, no, no... I... I... I need an ID-Card." - "I guess you have one!", Mike responsed. "I mean a fake ID!" It was more like a whisper as he told Mike what he needed. - "For what do you need it?", he asked. "For what do you need such a card Mike?" - "I don't need a Fake ID, I'm good with the bouncers, you know?" Chris just cocked his head, looking at Mike like he was running out of words and Mike started laughing. "It's okay Chris. Maybe I can handle something for you, okay?" - "I need one for Josh too!", he said and Mike lifted his eyebrows. "Oh... I'm curious: What clubs you wanna join with that card?" - "I dunno. I just had the idea to get there, trying new things... You know?", he replied. What he had in mind was a gay club, maybe one of those where they could dance and just be themselves. Where nobody knew them. Whatever... But their age forbid this, so he had to get some fake IDs and Mike was the first person in his mind, who could help him with that. It wasn't necessary to tell him, where they would like to go, but first he needed the cards, so he asked him. "I'll see what I can do, okay?", Mike said and Chris nodded his head. The next moment Chris got hit by someone who wanted to pass him, but Chris stood in his way. "Just watch out where you stand, Nerd!" Chris was looking after him, but didn't response anything. The guy was talking to his friends. A real Jerk, wearing the university jacket, part of the local footballteam. Chris definitly knew him. "Who the heck was that?", Mike said. "His name is Brad. It's just one of those damn assholes from my class. This guy is just dumb and strong if his friends are with him!", he responsed. "Is he bullying you?" - "Not that bad. He just doesn't like me as it seems. Just... just leave him. It's not worth it." - "Okay!"

Chris had to admit that he didn't understood a single thing within his lectures. Everything was like a pile of junk, sticking in his head and what he wrote down on his paper, he couldn't understand afterwards. He was just thinking about Josh, the weekend, almost everything what they did. That Josh messaged him within classes didn't make things easier. "I created a monster...", he thought and had to grin. 

He was happy as his lectures ended and it was time for his lunchbreak. Josh waited for him in front of the restrooms. "You're gonna go with me or what?", he said, while Josh was looking around. Then he pulled him into the restroom, dragging him into one of the cabins and closed the door. For gods sake nobody else was there. "Are you insane? What the hell are you doing?", he said, but Josh was eager and started to kiss him. Kissing was okay, so Chris didn't do something against it. But as somebody opened the door of the restrooms, he stopped Josh, placing a hand over his mouth. The person used the sink to wash his hands and stood there for another two minutes. As the person left, he let Josh go, breathing deep, his eyes half-closed. "You're getting us in trouble, bro!" - "I don't mind!", Josh said with a smile and gave him another kiss. But they weren't alone for long. Soon after that someone else opened the door again. This time Chris stepped on the toilet, trying to keep his balance. Then he saw it was Mike, standing in front of the mirror, but ducked himself so he couldn't see him. 

Within the next moment Josh opened the zipper of his jeans. It sounded that loudly, Chris was sure about Mike could have heard it. Chris tried to stop Josh, but he was eager to pull his jeans down, fondling on his shorts and Chris let out an irritated moan out of his control. "Chris? Is that you?", he heard Mikes voice. Chris looked down to Josh, who put a hand into his shorts and he shook his head, forming his lips, whispering: "Don't!" but Josh just grinned dirty at him, licking over his lips. "Yeah Mike, it's me.", he answered. His heart was pounding hard in his chest. Everything was too much for him. "Is everything okay?", Mike asked and Chris had trouble to control himself, because Josh licked over the tip of his dick. He bit on his lips, pressing out a: "Yeah, everything is ooookay...", what sounded really weird out of his mouth and he couldn't shut it, as Josh took him between his lips. "This doesn't sound so good pal!" Mike honestly was worried. "Nooo... I just ate something weird, it's okay!", he spat out while clenching his teeth, hoping it wasn't too treasonable. "Okay... if you say so!", Mike responsed and Chris just wanted him to leave. "See ya later bud?" - "See ya!", Chris almost shouted at him and Mike left the restrooms. "Oh god Josh, you goddamn bastard!" He heard Josh giggling while sucking on him, but he just wanted him to stop. But since Josh hung on his most sensitive part, it wasn't easy for him to escape of this situation. "Stop it Josh!", he stuttered, trying to be as serious as possible. "JOSH!", he exhorted him and Josh let go off. "I just...", he said, swiping over his mouth. "Yes, you really get us in trouble!", Chris retorted, pulling up his shorts and jeans. "It's risky enough you're kissing me, but sucking my dick...", he complained, but Josh just had a smile for him. "Oh come on cochise, you liked it!", he said, but Chris really wasn't in the mood for such jokes. "Don't dare me, Josh... not today!" As he saw how Josh was looking at him, he didn't feel good. "I mean... Josh, I love you, but as I said: We have to be careful." - "I know!", Josh replied. Chris brushed over his cheek, giving him a short kiss on his lips. "Let's go, eat something, okay?", he said with a calm voice and Josh nodded his head.

Chris left the restrooms first, Josh should follow him shortly after. It worked so they joined the cafeteria and got themselves something to eat. While eating Mike joined them soon after, so as Sam. "You're feeling better?", Mike asked Chris and at first he didn't know what he was talking about, but then he nodded his head. "Yeah... it's better. Thanks!" Sam looked worried over to Chris. "Nothing serious...", he said, just didn't want to make a fuss out of it. Mike was looking at him with a strange look in his eyes, but didn't say something. "Guys, what if we go to the public swimming pool tomorrow? I would love to go there, now that the open-air part is reopened. What do you think?" Mike was fast with his answer: "Good timing... As I finished training for my beach body last week I would be happy to join." - "What about you two?", she asked Chris and Josh and they looked at each other. "I would like to join, if you do too.", Josh said to Chris and he cocked his head. "Yeah, why not...", he replied. "Maybe we could ask Beth and Hannah, if that's okay for you.", he added, glancing over to Sam. "Sure! That'll be fun. I'll go over to Ash later to ask her. Maybe she'll join us too." - "Great!", Mike said.

After they finished their lunch, they went through the hallway. "See ya later guys!", Chris said because he stopped in front of his locker. He gave Josh a last smiling look and they were on their way to the classroom. The blonde was recessed in what he did, leaving books in his locker, clearing things up and was happy everything was going its way. As he closed the locker, he startled because Brad, his dumb classmate, stood right beneath the lockerdoor, grinning dirty at him, beside him his friends. And their look at Chris didn't mean something good. "God Brad, what the fuck...?", Chris said, but at the next second he got a hard nudge from him. Chris stumbled a step back but could hold his own balance while his backpack smashed on the floor. "What do you want from me?", Chris asked. "I dunno, maybe it's just because I don't like your face?", he mocked him, his friends laughed. "... or because you're a little fairy!" Chris didn't like Brad, that was a fact. And sometimes he was sneering at him, but he never acted like today. "Hey, just calm the fuck down! I don't wanna mess with you, okay?", Chris retorted. He was defensive like always. "You're such a pussy Washington, did this anyone ever tell you?", Brad said, his voice becoming more aggressive and Chris was just moving backwards because he was hoping to get into another floor to run off. He couldn't understand that nobody did something. Chris did another step and the trap was perfect - He reached a wall in his back, there was no way out. Brad was close, he looked him straight in the eyes: "I dunno what you're doing with your brother in the restrooms, using one cabin together, but I guess, you don't hold hands, are you?" Chris swallowed because he expected Brad would hit him and he covered his face with his hands as Brad got this expression, his heart was pounding hard in his chest. But within the next moment everything changed, because the door beside of him opened and hit Brad right at his shoulder and head. Chris used this chance to escape, grabbed for his backpack and ran off to the classroom. He panted and had problems to calm himself down, but he was safe.

Brad didn't join the lecture and Chris thought maybe he went home...

After he finished classes, Chris was on his way out there, because he knew, Josh was waiting for him. He was on his way through the floor as Brad came around the corner, he just stood a few steps away from Chris, together with his friends. Chris stopped immediatly. Based on the look in his eyes Chris decided to run if he came for him. "You're so fucked, Washington!" Now he wasn't after him just because he wanted to mock him. He was after him, because he got slammed the door in his face and Chris escaped. The problem - Nobody was lurking around within the hallways anymore, but Chris tried to get away by taking a flight as Brad started to run. His backpack was heavy, in his mind Brad already got him. Chris was scared, but ran further until he came to the next door. He already opened it as one of Brads friends ran against it. The next thing Chris noticed was Brad, dragging him around and then he just saw his fist, swinging right after him. It came so suddenly, Chris wasn't able to do anything against it. His view went red and white, he lost his balance and fell on the floor. Brad would beat the shit out of him, he thought. "This was for escaping before, you asshole!" Then he kicked him in the stomach. "And this is for getting my head slammed by the door, faggot!", Brad added. Chris sight was all blurred, his glasses fell on the floor as Brad hit him the first time. He licked over his lips, they tasted like copper and his belly was cramping up. He thought he would throw up. Then he heard a familiar voice, shouting something at Brad he couldn't understand, together with the sound of some feet, running down the hallway. "Chris... oh my god, Chris!" Josh was bending down to him, while Mike pulled Brad off of him, threatening him with his fist: "Fuck off!", he shouted at Brad. Thank god, Mike was taller than him, so he just ran off. "You'll regret this, Munroe!", he said, but Mike added: "Ah yeah? Next time I'll stick your head up to your ass!" He calmed down a bit: "Jeez, what the fuck is wrong with this kid?". He gasped for air, leaning down to Josh and Chris.

"Oh god...", Josh said. Brad hit Chris right on his nose, which now was bleeding on the floor. Chris sight got better and he reached for something he could hold on, grabbing for Joshs shirt. "Are you okay?", he asked his brother and Chris nodded his head. "Yeah... I just don't see a shit!" Josh reached for Chris' glasses but they were broken. "Come on, let's get out of here. Mike, could you...?", Josh asked and they helped Chris immediatly to stand up. "You think you can walk?", Mike said and Chris nodded his head again. Now Sam was coming down the floor too. "Oh my gosh, how did that happen?" Her glance was terrified as she saw Chris' nose. "He got hit by some stupid bastard of his classes." - "We need to go to the ambulance." - "No! We don't!", Chris retorted. "Is this the first time he treated you like that?", Sam asked. "He's just an asshole. Just leave him. He's sneering at me but he didn't do something serious until today." - "You have to go to the principal! This is not right." Chris always appreciated Sams sense of justice, but if he would go to the principal, he would have to answer some questions and this was it, what he tried to avoid by all means. Sam reached Chris a tissue and he swiped over his nose and lips. "It's not as horrible as it seems, so just calm down. Let's get out of here.", Chris said. At the car Mike and Sam helped Chris to sit down, standing beside him. "You really think, this is okay?", Mike asked and Chris made an approving sound. "Yeah, I just wanna go home. Maybe I'll skip lectures tomorrow, I don't know!"

"Why did this truly happened?", Josh asked his brother after slipping into the car, because it was obvious there was something he didn't know and what Chris kept secretly until now. "I guess he knows what's going on." - "What?!?" - "There was somebody in the restrooms, right before Mike, remember?" Josh was looking at him like he didn't understand. "It seems this was him... And I guess he saw us both leaving..." - "No!" - "Yes!" Josh laid his head on the steering wheel. "For fucks sake." Chris wanted to say something and opened his mouth, but Josh lifted a hand, pointing at him: "Don't you dare, saying you warned me already!" As bad as it was, this reaction made Chris grinning.


	19. Revenge and Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First again as always: Thank you very much for your feedback! I would love to read more from you. Here or via tumblr ask :)
> 
> If somebody is wondering: What I did until now is just the peak of the iceberg. I guess this fiction is going to be longer as I thought. We're at 50.000 words and the more I'm writing the merrier ideas I have in mind.
> 
> Have fun with this chapter - And as said - I would love to read your feedback. :)

As they arrived at home, his mother was in the kitchen. "Go upstairs... I'll get this!", Chris said and Josh handed over his broken glasses. He took a deep breath before he made his way to his mother. The tissue from Sam helped, but didn't stop the bleeding well. "Hey ma!", he said. She was cooking something and turned around. Her expression went from pleased to worried within a second. "Oh dear, what happened?", she said, walking over to him, taking out the tissue off of his nose, looking close at him while a hand laid on the back of his head, while the other pushed slightly at his chin. "Let me see!", she demanded. "Mum... it's not as bad as it seems!", Chris replied. "Again - What happened?", she asked again. "One of my classmates hit me, my glasses are broken too.", he responsed, showing her the frame. She shook her head: "Did you report him to the principal." - "No. And I won't!" - "Why?" - "Just because, ma. He's just a jerk and I don't wanna be the idiot who will be blamed for reporting him. He's just an ass!" - "Curse words!", Melinda said, leaving him be. She went over to the sink, giving Chris a wet paper towel to clean himself up. "Thanks mum." - "Do you know why he did this?" Chris' ability to tell lies was practically non-existant, but he tried: "I dunno. He's sneering at me ever since, but he didn't get this serious until today." - "But there has to be a reason why he did this to you." Then Chris tried it with a half-truth: "He saw Josh and me in the restrooms, while washing our hands within lunchbreak. We were laughing and he thought it was about him." It wasn't nice to lie at her, but she believed him. "I won't make a fuss out of it. I just need new glasses. That's all.", he said and Melinda sighed. "Okay... I guess we'll drive later to the optician. Let me just finish this, okay?" - "No problem." He didn't mention that he was hit in his stomach too, but it didn't hurt as much as his nose. "I'll go upstairs to change." - "Okay sweetie."

Hours later - they had been to the optician and ate some dinner - he laid in his bed with a headache. He already took some painkillers, but they didn't help very well. The light was dimmed as he heard the light creak of his roomdoor. Chris didn't even had to open his eyes to know it was Josh. "Is everything okay with you?", he asked, coming over to Chris' bed. "No... I've got a headache and I'm not feeling well.", he replied. Josh laid by his side, just watched him and did nothing. "I'm relieved about tomorrow." - "Yeah, it's good you're skipping the lectures.", Josh answered. Chris reached for him with one arm and Josh came nearer, placing his head on Chris' torso, listening to his heartbeat. "Is there something I can do for you?", Josh asked, but Chris made a negative sound. "Will you join us tomorrow at the public swimming pool?" - "I guess. Maybe this is making me feel better though." - "Good." The moments passed, none of the two said anything. As Josh sat up, Chris grabbed for his shirt. "What?" - "Stay!", Chris replied. "But..." - "I don't care... really! Dad isn't even in the house!" - "Okay.", Josh responsed, laying down again. They cuddled in the sheets, soon they were entwined to each other and Chris turned off the lights. Within this night they just laid there, sometimes one of them woke up, kissed the other in his half-sleep and nothing further happened.

The next morning Chris woke up first, giving Josh a kiss on his forehead, while stroking through his hair. Josh opened his eyes, but didn't reply anything. Chris pulled slightly on his hair, so Josh had to lean his head back and Chris kissed him on his lips. It was a sweet kiss, turning into longing and wanting. They didn't move a single bit first, then Chris rolled over so he was on top of Josh, laying between his legs, while Josh ran though his hair. They were totally enjoying themselves, with kissing, a touch here and there, but nothing more. Chris kissed him at his neck, sucking slightly on his skin and Josh moaned in need. As if there wasn't anything between them, Chris started to move his hips, while Josh looped his legs around him, pulling him closer. Their arousal was obvious, but they didn't want to go the whole hog, so Chris was just dry-humping him, but it felt good, nevertheless. It came to a close, as Josh whispered Chris' name, his voice in a mix of desire and impatience. The moment as Josh laid his hand on Chris' cheek, he reacted by grabbing his wrist, pushing it on the matress and with a few last thrusts he came, heavy gasping into the crook of Joshs neck.

"I love it if you're making this special sound while coming.", Josh whispered, still laying there, entwined with Chris. His brother smiled, giving him another kiss.

*****

While Chris stayed at home this day, Josh joined his lectures a little later. Chris sat in the living room, together with his mother, reading the newspapers. On tuesdays the local newspapers always had a whole part of flat advertisements, so they read them. Chris with an old pair of glasses of himself, because the new one would just arrive next week. "What about this one?", his mother said, showing him a specific advertisement. "2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, this is... the district of the college, this sounds good, but the prize is out of our budget!" - "Your father will pay this, remember that." - "Yeah, I know, but I don't want you both to have too much costs with that. I was thinking about something like a studio or something like that." - "Isn't that a little too small?" - "It's low-cost." Melinda looked at her son with the expression of admiration: "My son... is so modest and considerate... Sometimes I'm asking myself with what I'm deserving this?" Chris smirked at her, but she went on: "No, I think an apartment with 2 bedrooms is completely okay for you and your brother. Think about it: You don't need to use the other room for sleeping reasons. It could also be an office. So...?" Chris was thinking about it. She was right, so he nodded his head. "Okay mum... I'm with you.", he said.

As Josh arrived at home they ate something and the brothers packed their things to join Sam, Mike and Ashley in the public swimming pool. Beth and Hannah stayed at home, because they had to study. The sun was shining, the temperatures were great. They drove with Joshs car. "My fitness is so messed up... Compared to Mike I'm looking like a bag of potatoes!" Josh laughed about what Chris said. "What about me? But think about it - Sex is some kinda training too. And you already had your daily lesson today, am I right?" Now Chris was smirking at him. "A nice way to see things. You're right."

After they joined the others, they tried to get comfortable. Chris laid on a plaid which was big enough for Josh too and his brother was already busy, getting rid of his clothes. "So, what you're thinking of my sixpack, ladies?", Mike said, looking at Ashley and Sam and Chris covered his face with a hand. "And here we go...", he mumbled, while Sam grinned. Honestly, Mike was a true eye candy with his trained biceps, a six pack and a sexy and right placed body hair. He so enjoyed himself, posing in front of the girls that Josh mocked him by copying his poses, just more exaggerated and behind his back, so Ashley started laughing while Mike didn't know what was going on. As he turned around, he saw Josh, making one of those typical bodybuilding poses, blowing up his cheeks and bursting into laughter as Mike caught him. "YOU! Come here!", he said, running after Josh. The girls, so as Chris were amused, even though Mike got Josh, giving him a headbutt. They just had a lot of fun.

After a while of laying on his plaid, reading a book, Josh came out of the pool: "Come on Chris, the water is warm!" - "I don't want to!", he replied, looking at Josh, who looked back to the others. Mike was the first one who jumped into the pool, Sam followed him soon after, so as Ashley. Josh stayed with Chris for a while, but he left him 15 minutes ago. "Oh come on cochise, I know you'll like it.", he said, sitting down on the plaid beside Chris, touching his shoulder what made Chris shivering, because Joshs hand was wet. "You know I'm always getting red if I lay here, go into the water and come back!" - "We brought some sunblocker, I could rub this on your back later, if you like!" - "Nah-ah! I'm just getting warm right now and it's so cozy here! By the way, somebody has to watch over our valueables. Just go, I'm okay with that! Really.", he responsed. Josh seemed a bit disappointed, but nodded his head. "Okay, if you say so." - "Have fun!", he said and Josh leaned down, hesitated and laid his forehead on Chris' for a short moment. "It's okay.", Chris whispered and Josh smiled at him.

It was just five minutes ago that Josh left him again, he scrolled though another list of flat advertising on his smartphone, as he heard a voice which caused a cramp in his stomach: "Look who's enjoying a nice day at the public swimming pool." Chris closed his eyes for a moment, before he lifted his head. It was Brad, but just without his friends. "What the fuck are you doing here?", Chris said. After what had happened the day before, he was absolutely spoiled for a fight, because he came to the course, he didn't deserve this! "None of your business!" Chris wasn't even flinching. "Looks like you're here with your friends, eh?", Brad said, but Chris didn't respond. "But it seems they doesn't even like you, leaving you alone on a plaid for watching over their stuff." - "I suggest, you just fuck off, before Mike comes back and sticks your head into your ass, as he said yesterday." - "Is Mike your little boyfriend, you're hiding in front of Josh?", Brad asked. "Shut the fuck up!", Chris retorted a little louder and he knew that it was a mistake, because Brad wouldn't leave him be after reacting like this. "I'm just asking myself: Are you top or bottom?", Brad asked him with a dirty grin on his lips, but he got interrupted by Mike and Josh, coming back out of the pool. "What's going on here? What you're up to?", Mike asked Brad and he went a step back. "Not so brave yet?!?" Chris stood up as Mike said that and Brad was looking embittered at them. "Do you even know, who your friends are?", Brad said, directly to Mike, who folded his arms. "How they really are?", he said and Sam and Asley joined the group. 

As the girls appeared, Brad got a little cocky: "They fuck each other!" - "Says who?", Chris retorted. "I saw it - You've been together with him in the restroom cabin! I don't wanna know what you did in there, but I recognized your shoes. And after you both left the restrooms, it was clear there's something going on in there." Mike looked over to Josh and Chris for a moment, thinking, while the brothers stood silent. "You know what? I don't fucking care, what they did, because they're my friends, and if someone like you hurts them, he's fucked already!" Mike went a step forward, clenching fists, but Chris stopped him by laying his hand on Mikes shoulder. "No! If somebody has to rebuke him, then it's me." - "Uhhhhh... proud little gay boy is getting mad at me or what?", Brad mocked him and Chris looked over to Josh, his glance was asking. Josh looked back, tilting his head: "Go, get him!", he said with a smirk on his lips and Chris went a few steps forward, clenching a fist and Brad stumbled backwards. "Now your friends aren't here, you're not so brave anymore, are you Brad?", he asked, determined to hit him if necessary. "You won't hit me!", Brad said. "What makes you that sure about it?", Chris replied, lifting his fist. "You're not able to!", Brad responsed with this dirty grin on his lips again. "I should hit you just because you've earned it! Not just once! You should be happy I don't report you to the principal." - "Awww... you're so sweet!" Brad really challenged him and he finally reached the point, Chris couldn't take it anymore. A second later Brad laid in the grass, a slight black eye on his face. Even if it hurt, Chris just rubbed his knuckles, staring at his classmate, who was totally overwhelmed by this situation, because he didn't even think Chris would really hit him. "And if you won't fuck of within the next five seconds, I'll forget myself! We're even, okay?" Brad was pissed, but he left.

"I don't wanna force you, but what did he mean by that thing in the restroom cabin?", Mike asked Chris a little later, while the whole group sat down on their towels and plaids, trying to get dry. Chris looked over to Josh and he made a gesture, saying 'Fuck it' and Chris looked back at Mike: "To deny it would be sensless, but... he's right." - "What?", Mike said, while the girls stood silent, just listened. "You wanna tell me, you're fuckbuddies or what?" - "Josh and I... are in a relationship." - "You mean... but... how?", Mike replied. "We don't know either, we just know we're loving each other more than usual brothers do." Mikes look was strange on one side, confused at the other hand. "But how did you figured it out?", Sam asked and Josh answered: "I'm gay. And I had a crush on him for three years, until I confessed myself to him." - "Don't think it was easy for me to take that, but... the longer I thought about it, the more I realized that I feel the same for him." - "Are your parents aware of that?", Mike asked. "Mom yes, dad no.", Josh replied. The whole situation was awkward, but the brothers felt, it was the right decission to talk with them about it. "We're trying to get an apartment soon, because to offend anyone is one of those things we don't want to. We just wanna have some space together.", Chris explained. "This sounds like you're absolutely sure about everything of this.", Ashley replied. "To be honest, within all of these years we already had some kind of special connection. It's just deeper now and it's like it's always had been this way.", Josh said. "I have to admit, it's a little strange to me.", Mike meant, but Sam interrupted him: "Think about it - In fact they're not even real brothers." - "And in fact it never felt like this. We had this connection but didn't know, what's behind this, you know?", Chris explained and Mike nodded his head. "Should I use the chance to confess I'm bisexual?", he told and for a moment nobody said anything. "Who's not?", Sam asked with a bright grin. Then the whole group burst out into laughter, even Mike had to laugh. "The world is so fucked up right now!", he said, looking up into the clouds.

As feelings calmed down a bit, the conversation went a little deeper: "I guess it was Josh, you meant at the party, wasn't it?", Ashley asked Chris and he just nodded. "I understand...", she said. "But how do you hide it from your dad?", Mike said and Josh answered: "We talked to mum and she promised she won't say anything. He's not at home often, so he doesn't notice anything. We're sleeping in different rooms and locking the doors if we have a sleepover. That's not really a problem because we had such nights before all of that." - "Gross..." - "What are you gonna do, if you wanna marry each other one day... technically speaking?", Sam said. "I guess, if that really happens, it will be a real problem. As far as I know it's just legal, if dad is going to delete my adoption. And I don't know how all of this works. Now it's definitly no problem, because something like a marriage is far far away from our thoughts. But if it comes to this one day - we all don't know - we have to find a way." - "I once saw a documentary where they said in some states it's illegal. Outside the US, by the way, it should be a lot more easier.", Ashley added. "As I said, that's not a problem yet, but it's good to know.", Chris replied and smiled at her. "Just to be clear - Have you already fucked yet?", Mike said suddenly. "Here we go again... Why is everybody asking this?!?", Chris retorted and Josh had to facepalm. "What? I'm not the first?" - "No! Beth and mom asked before you!" - "Beth knows it too?", Sam asked. "Yeah, she was the first one I told about..." - "How did that happen?" - "I... would say, she caught us... So I just had no other choice.", Chris responsed and Sam grinned. "She must have been shocked in the first place." - "She wasn't very fond of it, no... But now she's with us."

A little later Mike said: "I still think it's a bit strange, but if there's something you need help with, I'm there, okay?" - "Me too!", Sam added and Ashley nodded her head. "This is really nice from you guys. But please, I have one request: Please, don't tell anyone about that. I guess it's already a problem Brad is knowing something. I guess we can avoid further struggles, saying he's talking shit, but I guess the more persons are aware about this, the bigger the problems are.", Josh explained, but for the others this was absolutely obvious.


	20. About suiting and Darkrooms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, after a long pause here's the next chapter of this fiction - as I promised! The pause took longer than I thought, I have to say it wasn't my fault... I just had too much work and not even a holiday! I have to admit I really missed it writing on this and that's the reason why I'm thinking the next chapters will be released faster! :)
> 
> I hope you had a nice holiday and a happy new year! And you're still reading this fiction! ;)
> 
> Have fun and leave a comment or kudos if you liked it!
> 
> By the way: No need to worry... Within the next chapters there's a lot of change... ;) And they will be longer than this again. ;) But for the start... ;)
> 
> Have fun!

Before Chris entered Joshs car, Mike stopped him: "Chris?", he said, Chris stopped, looking at him. "What?" - "Just a little question: Do you want these ID-Cards to go to a gay-club or such?", he asked and Chris' glance was that obvious, Mike didn't have to ask further. "I just ask because if this is it, I could manage something." - "How would you do that?", Chris replied wondering. "I just said my contacts with the bouncers are good. And to be honest, they have something like a network with each other. You can go into a club within a certain city and every bouncer knows you're okay to get in." - "Okay..." - "I just need to know when and where. Then I'm going for a call and that's it!" - "Great... So... I guess we would keep it a try this weekend. I'll do some research about the clubs and send you a message." - "Good!", Mike responsed. "Thanks Mike! Really!" - "No need to thank me.", Mike added with a smile.

On their way home Chris was thinking about what they discussed. "By the way... Mum and I maybe found an apartment for us." - "What? This was quick dude!" - "Not so fast, we just read the advertising in the newspapers today. I have to call the landlord to make an appointment, so we can take a look." - "Great!", Josh answered.

*****

The next few days went smooth. Chris and Josh tried to be together as much as they could be within school. They avoided any possible contact to Brad and within their breaks, Mike, Sam and Ashley were with them, so Chris could feel safe. Now that it was clear that Josh and Chris were a couple, they felt better in front of their friends. It was just a little something, but the result was great. So it wasn't something strange if they looked at each other within their lunch, smiling like their relationship was just fresh. Mike couldn't hold onto himself sometimes, saying it would be disgusting, how happy they are, but he just meant it in the best way possible and he already smiled if he said something like that.

In the meantime Chris and his mother had been called the landlord of the apartment they've seen in the newspapers and it was still available. The appointment was a week later, so they just had to wait for another few days. After they made the appointment, they talked to their father, telling him it was for a good cause. "I would prefer, you would get your licence after we gifted you with this car, Chris!", Bob said and Chris looked over to his mother. "Hun, just think about it - It would be better if they take the apartment, just because of the way." - "Yes, I know, but I think with the car it isn't that far as with the bus or else." - "We just wanna make an own life. Just see it as a first step into the wild, if you will.", Chris added and his father smiled. "You're right... in a way. I just can't befriend with the thought you and Josh are gonna leave the house and we're seeing each other just at the holidays." - "Dad, just think about it - We're rarely see each other now! But that wouldn't change anything." It didn't take much to convince Bob about the idea and at least he said 'yes'.

On friday at college Chris had another discussion with Mike: "What about today evening? Is everything settled?", Chris asked him within lunchbreak and Mike nodded, still chewing his sandwich. "Everything settled..." - "Good!", Chris replied with an happy voice, but Mike wasn't finished. "... 'cause I'm going with you!", he said and Chris' eyes widened. "You're gonna what?" Mike took a sip of his coke, before he gave Chris a dirty smile: "Didn't I just confess I'm bisexual?", he added and Chris chuckled. "Yeah, but I didn't think you would go with us." Mike waved with a hand. "It's not my prefered gender but last time I was in a gay-club it was really nice and so I thought why shouldn't I join you then?" Josh joined them at the cafeteria, sat down beside Chris and he wanted to start rambling about something: "For fucks sake, if I have to do this one more time, I'm gonna...", then he saw the almost dirty smile on Chris' and Mikes face. "D-did I miss something?", he asked and Chris gave him a glance: "Our friend Mike here will join us later today." Now even Josh was amused and crooked up the corner of his mouth. "You don't go with us, hooking up a nice guy, do you?", he said and Mike bit on his lip. "What if...?", he just said and Josh started laughing. "You're such douche Mike!", he mocked him. "If your ass wasn't busy riding this stallions cock I would start a flirt with you anyways!", he retorted with a cheeky grin and Joshs eyes widened, while he formed an 'O' with his mouth, still the laughing type. But before Mike could make another joke because of Joshs gesture, Chris interupted him: "Hey hey... enough okay?", he said with a slight grin in his face and everybody was just amused.

In the afternoon Chris stood right in front of his mirror, trying some clothes on he could wear for later. "What are you gonna do?", he heard Beths voice from the direction of the door. "Me?" - "No, the other guy beside you!", Beth replied and smiled. She closed the door behind her and went over to Chris, who wore a white shirt and a black jeans. "You're going to church or why do you asking yourself wearing a tie or not?", she said because Chris hold up to a coat hanger with some ties on it. Chris breathed deep and rolled his eyes. "I can't tell you..." - "Sure you can!", she said as if it was totally obvious. "Your brother already told me you would join Mike later to visit a gay-club." - "Oh Josh...", he moaned and Beth squinted her eyes. "Don't... Don't do that in front of me, okay?", she said and Chris had to snort, while Beth turned him a little harsh so she stood in front of him. She unbuttoned his shirt and he looked at her, his eyebrows lifted up. "What - are - you - doing?", he asked and as she grabbed for his belt to unbuckle it, his eyes widened. "Don't look like a sheep Chris, I'm just taking off your clothes." - "I can see that!", he responsed and Beth moaned out of annoyance. Then she kneeled while pulling down his jeans and Chris looked down at her. "Beth... I don't think..." - "You Jerk, would you please just step out of your jeans, because you're not gonna wear this if you're going to a gay-club." Beth stood up because Chris didn't move and shook her head. "Take them off, I need to get something!", she said and walked out of the room. Chris took out his shirt and the jeans and he waited. Just standing in front of the mirror with some pants on was uncomfortable for him. He looked down himself and was thinking about how he would look like if he just did a little effort for his fitness. As Beth came back, she carried a few clothes over her arm, mostly shirts. One of them was pink: "I won't wear pink Beth! That's not my color!" - "Just relax, we'll find something that suits you!", she said.

The shirts were mostly from Beth, but they didn't fit. "They're too tight! I'm not gonna go and look like a sausage, freshly out of the smoker!" - "That wouldn't fit with your pale skin, hun... Just try this... Come on!", she said and gave him this pink shirt from before. She rolled it up in her hands so Chris just had to slip in. She helped him and pulled it down. As Chris looked in the mirror Beth started laughing, because the shirt had a front-print. Chris cocked his head, looking at Beth. "Pink pussy? Really?" He pulled out the shirt immediatly and Beth was just laughing. "You've got something what maybe fit me well?", he asked her and Beth took a deep breath. "I have to admit, I do!", she responsed and handed over a black shirt with short sleeves made of an almost transparent fabric. As Chris held it up to look at it, he could see through the cloth and it felt just nice and soft. "This looks really good... Let's try..." So he put it on and reviewed himself in the mirror. Beside the transparent fabric there were some elements made out of regular black material, like the collar, shoulders, placket and on the left side of his chest was a little pocket. Not too big, but it suited Chris very well. "This is awsome.", he said. "Where did you get that? That's not yours, is it?", he asked, looking at her. "No, it's not... Josh gave it to me." Chris lifted his eyebrows. "He said he bought this years ago, but it's a little too loose for him." Chris looked at himself in the mirror and he really liked what he saw. "What about blue-jeans with that?", he asked and Beth nodded. "I think that could fit. It's your first visit at one of those clubs. Use it to orientate yourself. Next time you'll go with just a jock-strap and some tape over your nipples." Chris couldn't stop from laughing. He definitly wouldn't go into a club like that, but just the thought was amusing.

"Isn't that too cold for you cochise?" Josh saw him right before he put on his jacket. "No... why?", he replied with a smile. "Layer.. after layer... after layer... after..." - "Oh, give me a break, Josh!", Chris retorted to Josh, who was smiling at him. Chris didn't see what Josh wore, but he would if they entered the club. "Watch out for you and I've got my phone loud!", Melinda said. She didn't know where they would wanna go, but she thought it was a good thing for them. "Thanks mum!", Chris said, giving her a light peck on the cheek. They could hear the sound of a horn - Mike arrived.

He came with his own car and Chris so as Josh got into it, after saying goodbye to their mother. "Everything okay with you?", Mike asked and Chris, who was getting in beside Mike, nodded: "Yeah.." Josh took his place on the backseat. On he way to the club, Chris didn't say anythin until Mike took advantage of the conversation: "And you never had been to such a club?", he asked and Chris shook his head, while Josh said: "No... I just saw something about them in TV-Shows." Mike chuckled. "I bet you'll like it. But be prepared for some disturbing things too." - "What do you mean by disturbing things?", Chris asked and Mike gave him a dirty grin: "If you have the urge to fuck your buddy or someone else, thirsty for a blow-job or anything, you can join the darkroom!" Chris' eyes widened: "They have a room for something like that?" - "Yeah, but I suggest you don't go in there. Some of those strangers can be quite nasty.", Mike replied and Chris made an expression as if he had bitten in a lemon. "Did you ever join this room, Mike?" Josh was quite curious about it and looked at him through the rearview mirror. "I was in there for once... for five minutes. After that I shoved my ass outta there, because some guy wanted to fuck me without lube or a condom!", he told Josh and Josh lifted his eyebrows. "Slowly I'm asking myself where you're bringing us Mike!", Chris responsed and Mike shook his head: "That's the reason why I'm telling you!" Chris gave Josh a short glance.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm planing to involve some other Until Dawn Characters within the further chapters. There are also plans for Joshs mental illness. But everything to a proper time. ;)
> 
> If you have the urge to join my on tumblr, just go here:  
> http://nachtstrasse.tumblr.com
> 
> Feel free to molest me with your questions. ;) There you can also find some oneshots I'm writing from time to time, which almost doesn't make it to AO3. :)


End file.
